Meet the parents

Sitcomgirl’s recent post reminded me: my parents are meeting MB for the first time this weekend.

Sitcomgirl wondered in her post when the right time is to meet the parents. I’m not sure, but I think it’s when you decide this person is important and may be in your life for awhile. At the same time, I don’t think it should be that big of a deal. It’s not like the next step is picking out china patterns.

I met my ex’s parents a couple of months after we started dating. He was still hopeful then, and at first his mother seemed to like me. But then I didn’t help clear the dishes after dinner, and plus I wasn’t Korean, and oh yeah over Christmas I had given my ex a black angelfish, which, I didn’t know, is hugely bad luck in their culture.

My ex didn’t meet my parents till that May, at my graduation, and for whatever reason my mother took an instant disliking to him, which of course he didn’t like (who would?). So after that and for many years, we hid our relationship, which put a strain on us.

Eventually both sets of parents came around, but even afterwards, and after our marriage, there continued to be a strain, and that, along with a variety of other factors, led to our breakup.

Sometimes I think marriage would be okay if not for the in-laws.

MB isn’t close with his biological parents, but he does have parental figures in his life, and I met the dad a couple of months ago. He was in town for a visit, and said that he wanted to meet me. He was supernice. Very warm and laid-back. He told MB I was a keeper and invited us about 10 times to visit him and the rest of the family out west.

I had told my mother about MB in November. I was tempted to continue to hide him, but I had done that with my ex, and didn’t want to do that anymore. A couple of months ago, my mother made a weird suggestion: arrange a lunch with me, MB, and my aunt who works in the city.

“Why?” I asked. “Does Auntie want to meet him?”

I want her to meet him.”

Reconnaisance.

I told my brother this, who said, “Why don’t Mom and Dad just meet him?” I made that suggestion, but my mother kept insisting to set up lunch with the apathetic aunt. It was only when my brother told our mother she and our dad should go into the city and have a meal with us that she finally saw the light.

So that’s this Saturday. Lunch, and then my parents will be on their own checking out Korean DVDs in Chinatown.

Still, the scheduled meeting didn’t stop my mother from being annoying. Like me, she has a tendency to worry, and to make up things to worry about even if everything seems okay. For instance yesterday:

Her: Are you guys sure you want to meet?
Me: Why? What do you mean?
Her: Is he being hesitant about it? Is he reluctant?
Me: Where did you get that idea, Mom? From imagination land?

She had to laugh.

Like me she interprets the unknown negatively, even after I told her MB said, and I quote, “I’d love to meet your parents.”

*Sigh.*

4 comments

  1. I interpret the unknown positively, perhaps too positively. I hope it goes well.

  2. From imagination land? I am soooooooo going to use that with my mom one of these days!
    So is aunt coming along with your parents this weekend?
    And excellent that the dad said you were a keeper!
    Do you think maybe your parents saw something in the ex that was indicative of him not being good enough for you? You know, that gut feeling that outsiders sometimes get about those we are with?
    Hopefully your parents will love MB and this relationship won’t have that strain hurting it. Good luck!!

  3. zydecofish: that’s probably a better attitude.

    sitcomgirl: totally use “imagination land” since i just realized i totally stole your blogpost title!

    it could be my mom saw something. my ex was not thrilled to hang out with my parents that day, and his attitude shone through. then when my mom was cold to him, he just got more annoyed and saw it as a challenge to his manhood or something.

    i think my mother will like MB (my dad likes everyone), if only for shallow reasons – he’s tall and handsome, he’s talkative, friendly, and relaxed. but hey that’s why i like him too. ;)

    plus he does a wicked imitation of me imitating my mother. if he does that, she will LHAO and be putty in his hands.

  4. It’s great that MB has a good attitude about the meeting. Tim is still incredibly uncomfortable when it comes to my parents because he worries about them liking him.

    It’s nice that you mother is curious enough to ask. It seems pretty gutsy to me. I’m sure it’ll go well.