If you didn’t already know, ATRO stands for Awesome Things Rip-Off because I totally ripped off the idea from this guy.
We’ve all had them. They stomp arond like they’re Frankenstein wearing shoes made of cement. They blast annoying music into the wee hours. They yak and yak and yak all night long. They have a loud and irritating laugh.
But when they go away, the peace and quiet is just delicious.
I’ve written about my downstairs neighbors before. I once cared about not revealing too many details, but now I don’t give a shit because no one that self-centered would go to the trouble of finding out who I am and Googling me. Back in September, the woman and her boyfriend got into a huge screaming fight in the middle of the night. It went on and on. Finally, we heard the guy’s voice rise to a pitch, a big banging noise, following by the woman crying. He may have just punched a wall or thrown something, but we thought the worst, and called the cops.
What followed, like I said, was something out of Cops. I heard the woman, “You’re throwing him against the wall?! You’re throwing him against the wall?!” After they made the guy leave, the woman walked around her apartment, talking to herself and sobbing. Then I heard her open her bedroom window (which is directly below ours) and grunt in effort. The next thing I heard was her crying from far away. At first I thought she was in the basement but then realized she was in our courtyard.
The next morning I found two pillows below her window and I realized: She had jumped.
She’s only on the second floor, but – what the fuck? Why? Are you a child?
Anyway, several people complained, and what followed were a couple of months of relative quiet. We did have to go down once or twice to ask her to turn down her music (note: if you can’t hear your tea kettle whistle, your music is too loud). Don’t get me wrong: we’re not complete tight asses. We’re up till 11 or midnight ourselves. But if it’s one, two, three in the morning, have some fucking consideration and STFU.
Starting around Thanksgiving, we were gifted with lovely peace and quiet. The woman and her boyfriend are from a far away country, and I gussed they’d be gone all the way through the New Year, or at least Christmas. I slept like a baby. I didn’t worry. I treasured our upstairs neighbors who, at most, pace the floor, but never at odd hours. They get up early and go to bed before midnight, just like us.
But this week, the downstairs neighbors came back.
And they were fighting again. Not nearly as bad this time, but way past three in the morning. They went to their beloved courtyard, apparently straightened things out, came back, and promptly started having a make-up singalong with their radio. Yes, singing, at four in the morning, at the top of their drunk lungs.
We didn’t go down this time, thinking they’d be too drunk to care. I stomped on the floor but they heard nothing. Finally, I sent an email to our landlady, who said she’d talk to them woman. Hopefully she actually will.
Now all we can do is invest in some really good earplugs, perhaps some cement-filled shoes, and wait for the awesomeness that is the noisy neighbors going away again.
Only awesomer would be if they moved.