The Not-So-Secret Diary of a Bad Luck Girl

When will I ever learn?

I couldn’t sleep AGAIN last night, and not because of a crazy downstairs neighbor.  I stupidly had some green tea in the late afternoon.  I didn’t think it was that strong, but obviously it was.

On top of that, we have mosquitoes!  What the fuck, San Francisco?  I thought you had no mosquitoes.  I guess it’s been the very warm, followed by the very chilly weather we’ve been having these past couple of weeks.

Last weekend MB discovered a bite on his (shaved) head, and I had one on my forehead.  We thought it was from our walk out to Haight-Ashbury.  But earlier this week, I’ve had more bites: on my face, hand, feet, arms, and calf.

The bites are super tiny and disappear fast, nothing like the ones I’d get in New York which would swell to the size of a half dollar and be insanely itchy.  These are more just an annoyance, especially since I can’t find the little buggers.  I *think* I saw them yesterday, and if that was them, they are incredibly fast and tiny.  There’s no way I can hunt them down like I did back east, where the skeeters were big, slow, and stupid.

So last night not only was I wakeful because of the tea, I was paranoid about mosquitoes.  Luckily the weather has cooled down, so I could blast the ceiling fan and cover most of myself with a blanket.  But I was up for a long time brushing away every tickle on my face, whether lint, hair, or actual little pest.

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Yesterday I worked on my writing, though not enough to my satisfaction.  At least I got draft pitches down, as well as a draft of an essay, and started catching up TNB reading.  Today I will probably type up/revise/focus on the essay (which is a little all over the place right now), but also want to get out of the house.  Shopping!  Haven’t done that in a while.

I discovered that Real Simple is having their annual essay contest now.  Totally entering it!  Though the deadline is coming up very soon.

The complaining comments on the page crack me up.  How dare the judges give the prize to a 10th grade English teacher?  Surely she has an up on everyone!  Um, hello, the magazine awards the best essay, and the best essay not only has to have a great story, it has to be told well.  And yes, perhaps an English teacher or professional writer will tell that story better.  Them’s the breaks.  What should they do, say, “If you get paid to write, teach people to write, teach English, were an English major, ever wrote something ever in your life, you’re not eligible”?  That makes total sense.

Idiots.

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This week I finally finished my work project.  The deadline to the publisher was Wednesday 9/1, and I got manuscripts to my boss Sunday night.  Yesterday we did a bit more work cleaning up, but I think that should be it, unless the publisher comes back with changes.

I’m excited to get back in the swing of things in terms of my own writing, but it’s a bit scary too.  My work project was very straight-forward.  My own writing less so.  But I have some pitches and submissions planned.  I just have to do them.  Also, the Nervous Breakdown!  I didn’t post at all last month, and I have tons of reading to catch up on there, The Frisky, and elsewhere on the interwebs.

This weekend MB and I don’t have any plans.  We’ll just hang around the thankfully quiet city, work on our projects, take walks, see movies.  After a week of chilly weather, we’re hot again, though not as hot as last time.  I think it’s supposed to cool right back down tomorrow.

My folks are in L.A. now, helping out with my grandmother.  MB and I fly out there late next week, and the week after off to Seattle!  After that I probably won’t want to travel for some time.

Wow, this is a really boring blog post.  Okay, two things:

1) If you’re my Facebook friend, you know about the disturbance in our building last week.  Because my blog is public, I can’t go into too many details, but let’s just say it was Who’s Afraid of Virginia Woolf? meets Cops at three in the morning.  It was very strange and kind of scary.  This same individual this week was heard hammering and drilling at again in the middle of the night.

2) This week I learned that a teacher from my high school died.  Not just died: killed himself.  Threw himself in front of a train.

I had one class with this teacher, and while he didn’t change my life like he did other students, it’s still incredibly sad and disturbing.  He was very active in the school – a dynamic teacher, soccer coach, adviser to various clubs.

He was in his early 50s, which means he was YOUNGER THAN I AM NOW when he taught our class.  That just blows my mind.

It’s especially strange because my class just had its 20 year reunion (which I obviously did not attend), though I was lucky enough to hear all the dirt, including that this teacher was still teaching at the school.

And then just a few weeks later, the terrible news.

3) I know I said “two,” but I have to end a nicer note.  I went bowling yesterday with my co-workers.  Wow, I suck!  I’m also out of practice.  But I did make a couple of strikes, including during a time they were giving away T-shirts.  So I won a T-shirt!  That’s bright purple.  And which I’ll never wear.

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Working with words all day, of course I have to say more than just “hodgepodge.”

Earlier this week, San Francisco had a mini heat wave. Three days of temps in the upper 80s and low to mid 90s.  Of course here it’s not too humid, but the sun is much stronger, and walking around on Tuesday was killer.  MB and I had lunch in Union Square, and there was absolutely no one sunning himself.  Everyone was hiding in the shade – aside from one drunk homeless guy – and all the birds were breathing with their beaks wide open, a definite sign of hotness.

It was tough to sleep even with both ceiling fans going and MB’s ghetto A/C (the bathtub filled with cold water).  Thank goodness yesterday it started to cool down.  By the time I got home, it was foggy and chilly, and last night was prefectly cool and comfortable.

Carolina Baker over at GirlHabits interviewed me, and the write-up is now up. It was a lot of fun, and some of my own answers surprised me.  When I thought about what I wanted to be known for, I realized I didn’t really want to be known for anything.  It’s funny how others’ perception of me isn’t that big of a concern anymore.  I mean, in individual situations, sure.  Are people interested in something I’ve written?  Am I saying something different?  Am I being putting myself out there enough before calling out other people?  But I’m not too concerned with how I come off, or how I’m known, apart from my writing.

The superpower question was fun too.  At first I thought, Of course I’d fly or be invisible, but then I realized more than anything, I want to be Buffy the Vampire Slayer, or Echo from Dollhouse.  I want to be essentially normal except that I’m very strong and fast and can kick anyone’s butt.

We just started watching The Wire. I know: two years too late.  I’d always heard it mentioned and thought it was about a newspaper for some reason.  But it’s not.  It’s about police in Baltimore and it’s a damned good show.  At first I thought it was a little boring, but now I’m completely obsessed by it.  We’re finishing up season 1 tonight.  No spoilers please!

My boss lent me Kathleen Norris’ Saturday’s Child, a novel written back around 1915 and set at that time in San Francisco.  It’s kind of fluffy but I’m enjoying it all the same.  It’s basically a romance between a young working woman and a rich flighty dude.  I love all the mentions of SF, as well as what everyone is wearing and what they’re eating.

Well that’s enough of this farrago.  Off to the gym and yoga!

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This week I started on this project at work.  We sort of waited till the last minute to get started so I basically have the month of August to write four short books.

It’s not a lot of writing.  It’s mostly gathering information, editing it, and putting it all together, which does take time.  I was supposed to get the first 30 entries of the four books done by tomorrow, but I only got two done, with working at home on the days I wasn’t in the office.  I’ll have to take the weekend to do the other two.

I love getting paid to write!  And it’s actually nice to work on something that’s not about me.

Speaking of which, here’s another article about me! Specifically about the time I got into it with an obnoxious hipster douchette when I still lived in New York.

In cholesterol land, I’m finishing up week three.  This week I really craved bad food but resisted.  The worst are all the bad salty snacks available for free in the kitchen at work.

I decided I’m going to try to work in an hour of carido once a week.  For the four times I do hard cadio, I usually do about forty minutes, whether running or on the elliptical.  For one of those four times, I’ll try to run five or six miles, or 40 minutes running plus 20 minutes elliptical, or vice versa.

This past Tuesday I felt like I was at the gym forever.  I ran five miles, walked for five minutes, then did an hour of yoga.  I was soooo hungry afterward.

In vertigo land, I’ve decided that my allergy meds haven’t been working.  In fact, I think they make me more light-headed (which is indeed a side effect) as well as incredibly parched in the morning.  I read that ginkgo biloba might help with vertigo so I took some earlier this week.

That shit kept me up for two days.  Well, not literally, but that night I didn’t sleep well, and last night I didn’t sleep well either!  I didn’t feel jittery, but my brain felt energetic.  Last night I did eventually fall asleep and for a good amount of time, but it took me a while.

I haven’t read anything online that says ginkgo biloba will keep you up, but I guess if it improves blood flow to the brain, that goes without saying.

I haven’t taken it again.  Maybe I’ll take it tomorrow morning.

By the way, since I stopped taking my allergy meds, I’ve felt much less light-headed.  Plus I’ve been more careful about not bending my head forward when I’m on the computer, and taking more breaks.

On that note, off the computer for the night!

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Mission: Lower Cholesterol

I’ve finished up week two of Mission: Lower Cholesterol, aka Fuck My Doctor and His Threats of Lipitor.  This week was both a bit easier and a bit harder.  Healthy choices have already become a habit, but I’m still tempted by bad snacks and desserts.  Well of course: I always will be.  For instance, yesterday at work, I saw an empty Frito bag in my garbage can, and thought, Fuck, I could really go for some Fritos.

I was sort of lax about my green tea habit, opting instead for another cup of coffee one day and just skipping a second round of caffeine altogether another day.  I’m also getting sick of almonds as a snack.  Need to get some mixed nuts.

I’m one day short of hitting my workout goal, unless I go to the gym later today.  This morning I opted for an at-home workout of weight training and Pilates.  My post-yoga recovery this week was much quicker.  I wasn’t nearly as sore the next day, and by the following day was all better.

I also finally brought my yoga mat instead of just using the mats the gym provides.  While the yoga mat is definitely better in that it’s not slippery and much longer, it doesn’t provide as much cushion and so the base of my hands started to get sore.  However, they didn’t hurt afterward so maybe it’s just a matter of getting used to it.

Writing News

I had another piece published in The Frisky last week, I’m Sick of Hearing About Motherhood. I felt like I had written several “nice” pieces and wanted to write something more controversial. The comments range from, “Amen, sister!” to “Oh my God, how can you say such things? We mothers have to put up with SOOO much, and now we have to put up with bitchy attitudes like yours, Miss Angela Tung! We’re MOTHERS! Cut us a break!!!”

I rest my case.

Funny too are comments that say, “Wait till she has a kid!” while in the piece I basically say who knows, I may act the same way when I have kids. Shows that people didn’t take the time to read to the very end.

On the Nervous Breakdown last week, I published I Hate Reading About Music, which has been my most popular piece so far. There has been a lot of music posts lately so I think the subject is on people’s minds. I don’t know if those who don’t read the TNB regularly would be as into it.

This morning I had fun giving a video interview to one of my Nervous Breakdown friends.  I’m always self-conscious about how I look on Skype.  My hair was all wet so I kind of look like a seal in a pink shirt. Oh well.

At work I’ve been given a big month-long project.  It will involve lots of writing, including on days that I’m not in the office.  Yay!  Getting paid to write!

What I’m Reading Now

I just finished The Book of Lost Things by John Connelly.  It was a very interesting book, an interesting style.  On the surface it seems to be a book for children or Young Adults because of the fairy tale aspect, but it’s quite gruesome at times and very sad overall.  Now I’ve started Corelli’s Mandolin.

I wanted to pick up a copy of Mark Twain’s Life on the Mississippi, which I’ve never read before, but it was checked out at the library.  I’ve always wanted to read it but just never got around to it.  Then I started watching a documentary on Mark Twain last week and became interested again.

I didn’t realize Mark Twain could be kind of a jerk to his family, and had a lot of darkness about him, blaming himself for his brother’s and son’s deaths.  I think a lot of “comedians” are like that, not a laugh a minute but actually quite depressed.

I also didn’t know that his first lecture was given here in San Francisco at the Maguire’s Academy of Music.  I wonder if that theater is still around.  I’m curious to go see.

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First up, my Frisky piece from last month, “I’m Competitive,” is now on CNN Living.  Thanks to my pals for telling me!

The range of comments is interesting.  I can’t help but wonder how people would feel if I were a man.

In other news, I’ve just closed in on week one of Vanquishing My High LDL.  All I have to say is thank God for dark chocolate and its cholesterol-lowering abilities.  It saved me twice when I was craving something sweet.  Also, I’ve been drinking tons of tea – green, chai, ginger, rooibus.  No milk or sugar of course, which isn’t hard for me since I’ve always had plain tea.

If I go to the gym today, then I’ve met my workout goals for the week – hard cardio four times a week, at least a 20 minute walk the balance of the days, and some kind of weight training twice a week.  I did yoga for the first time in a month earlier this week, and it KILLED me.  My shoulders and upper back so sore I could barely dress myself.  By yesterday though, I was fine.

I finally finished Gone with the Wind.  Wow, that took me almost a month to read.  While I’m not sure it was a great book – some parts are great, but the last third is sort of all over the place – I will say it was fascinating.

I knew that it was racist, but I didn’t know how racist.  It’s one thing to portray the perceptions of the time in a knowing way, but it’s another for the author to believe those perceptions.  For instance, that blacks were actually happy to be slaves, and that those who liked their freedom were “uppity” and “trashy.”  That blacks were like animals and children, and needed white people to take care of them.  I kept waiting for the other side of it, the human description to balance out all the descriptions comparing blacks to dogs, horses, apes, and elephants.  But it never came.

Margaret Mitchell’s portrayal of women, on the other hand, is very well-rounded and fair.  There are all types of women in the book, and not one is better than the other.  There’s fierce and independent Scarlett, who pays a price for her independence.  There’s seemingly timid and quiet Melanie, who shows surprising strength.  No one is perfect (except maybe Melanie) and no one is a pure villain, not even the Yankees.

The book is also surprisingly anti-war.  “A rich man’s war fought by poor men.”  Sounds familiar.

Needing a break from romance, I’m now reading John Connolly’s The Book of Lost Things.  Eerie and sad so far.

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Finally stopped at the lab and gave the blood needed for the testing my doctor wants to do (cholesterol, triglycerides, etc.).  The lab is walk-in so I was dreading a long-ass wait, during which I’d get hungrier and crankier by the moment.  But I was the first one there and they got me done lickety-split.  The nurse was so great, I barely felt a thing.

“Ready?” she said.  “Onetwothree!”

Some nurses take forever finding a vein, but she was awesome.

Had a very nice super-long weekend.  Monday was a holiday, and I could have worked today but decided the blood work was more pressing.  MB and I mostly worked on our stuff, but I still feel like I have a ton of work to do on this essay.  It doesn’t help when I think it’s about one thing, and as I’m writing, I realize it’s about something else.  Now I’m rewriting the intro and trying to cut the word count way down.

I got in a couple of workouts.  Now that I’m working, I’ve been terrible about going to the gym.  I went on Tuesday, then not again till Sunday (ran two miles, 20 minutes on the elliptical).  I ran four miles yesterday, yay!  Probably won’t do anything today because I gave blood, just in case.

In between working and work outs – and way too many games of Epic Mahjong Solitaire – we took walks: to Union Square, where he played guitar and I tried to write; and out to Haight-Ashbury, where we had crepes and browsed around Amoeba Records.  On our way back, we stopped in Japantown and had shabu shabu, a perfect meal for a chilly, gray day.

I guess it’s quite hot out on the east coast.  Not to rub anyone’s face in it, but I’m so glad not be in that weather right now.  I HATE hot and humid, the worst thing about New York.  Here it’s cloudy, windy, and a bit chilly.  I’m wearing sweat pants, a T-shirt, and another shirt on top of that.  We sleep at night with two blankets.  I LOVE IT.

Now if only some NYC restaurants (Le French Diner! Pala! LES Noodle Bar!) would come out here.  We’ll be glad to send several hobos and crackheads in exchange.

Today, aside from finishing that damned essay, I have to drop off stuff at the cleaners’, return a library book, and possibly get some bedding from Macy’s.

Some bad news I almost forgot: my favorite working cafe, Bittersweet, closed down, at least the one on Fillmore Street.  My SF pal said she heard it was because the landlord wanted to double their rent.  I’m so bummed about it.  I really loved that place.  The drinks were delicious, and the atmosphere so inviting to work in.  I loved the big comfy tables where you could spread all your crap out, the free wifi, and how the barristas didn’t mind if you stayed there all afternoon, nursing a cup of tea.

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In case you missed them, here are the pieces I published this month:

I’m Competitive, The Frisky, June 29

Ghosts, The Nervous Breakdown, June 21

I Want to Be Like My Dad, The Frisky, June 18

Right now I’m working on a long essay for a contest that’s due today. Hopefully I can turn it in before my SF pal picks me up for our monthly Thursday Museum Excursion. Today’s it’s the Legion of Honor. Apparently they have an Impressionist exhibit that’s companion to the de Young’s.

Earlier this week I went to my first Silicon Valley dinner. It was out in Palo Alto – or maybe Menlo Park? – and was pretty relaxed. Downtown Palo Alto seems very nice, at least from what I saw, but in a weird way. Like everything is a bit too nice, everyone is a bit too pretty and fit, but not LA-pretty where it’s obvious. It’s hard to explain. I’ll have to spend more time there to know.

Near the restaurant was a giant mall headed by Neiman-Marcus. I was really curious to go in and see what it was like.

In vertigo news, yesterday and the day before I was starting to feel light-headed again. Last night I took an allergy med, and I felt much better quickly. I wonder if that’s the key, treating my allergies, which are the culprit for my sinus/throat problem, which lead to my inner ear imbalance. I know that for those Meniere’s disease patients with food allergies, sometimes treating those allergies helps alleviate their vertigo.

I never even realized I had allergies. I don’t do much sneezing, but my throat gets easily irritated. I always thought I was just almost coming down with a cold.

I can’t believe it’s nearly Fourth of July.  It feels like early spring here.  I don’t even know if I have a day off.

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I don’t want to speak too soon, but the vertigo seems to be going away.

Yesterday I felt pretty crummy: light-headed, groggy (though that may have been the motion sickness meds), and a little nauseous.  But then I did my therapy, which usually brings on several bouts of vertigo (necessary in order to be rid of it) but I didn’t experience any.  Maybe just the tiniest bit of nystagmus.  I slept semi-inclined, just in case, and this morning, while still groggier than usual, I felt much better.

My plan is to keep doing my therapy for at least a week, sleep semi-inclined for one or two more nights, and see the doctor on Friday.  He may or may not know anything about BPPV, but at least I should just get myself checked out.  I’m not taking any meds though, that’s for sure.

I was surprisingly productive yesterday, despite not feeling well.

• I wrote a draft for my next Frisky article.  It’s too long and meanders, but at least I have something on paper.
• I bought groceries and much-needed TP.
• I did a load of laundry.
• I wrote a draft for my next Nervous Breakdown post.  Suddenly inspired while I was, of all things, folding laundry, I jammed out the piece in under a couple of hours.  When you’re inspired, you’re inspired.

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And so glad for it.

First things first, I have a new piece up at The Frisky. It’s about my dad and in time for Father’s Day.

Next, the ‘rents.  Their visit was pretty relaxed, except from some quizzing/nagging from my mom, but that’s to be expected.  On Monday when they were at my aunt’s, I barely did anything.  I didn’t even go to the gym.  I wrote a draft for my Frisky piece, played lots of Xmahjongg, and caught up with reading The Nervous Breakdown.  I guess that’s not too bad, but I felt blah.

When MB came home, I told him I had played Xmahjongg ALL AFTERNOON.  He wisely removed it from my computer.

Tuesday was much more productive.  I revised my Frisky piece, then ran four miles at the gym, followed by yoga.  By the time I got out, my parents were already back.  They ended up not having lunch with my aunt and were craving American food.  I took them to Mel’s down on Van Ness, where they were thrilled by the $8 lunch special of a cup of soup and half a sandwich.  I get my Cheap Chinese Blood from somewhere!

Afterward we walked together towards Union Square.  My dad wanted to go to Chinatown, and my mom suggested she and I wander Macy’s, so we split off at Powell Street.

We spent a lot of time looking for a shirt for my mom, had some coffee at Starbuck’s, then got shower curtains for us.  Mom had noticed that ours definitely need changing, and I’ve been meaning to get new ones but kept forgetting.  A perfect opportunity.  Now four days later, they’re still sitting in a Macy’s bag in my bedroom.

I forgot to mention that at Thai dinner on Sunday, Mom pointed at MB and said, “I want to make an announcement.”  We both held our breaths.  I thought she was going to say, “You guys should get married,” but instead she said, “I want a grandson.”

MB, being so good-natured, said cheerfully, “I want a little girl.”

Turns out my parents don’t care, grandson or granddaugther – they just want us to procreate.

I could tell my mom was a little sad at the wedding, watching my aunt play with her granddaughters.  I’ve told her MB and I are trying, but for some reason, she didn’t believe me till she heard it from MB himself.

He was happy to have their blessing.  I’m worried that I’ll start feeling more pressure.

Then while we were having coffee at Macy’s, Mom advised that I should “lie still for at least 10 or 15 minutes afterward” instead of washing right away.  TMI, Mom.  TMI.  Then she said after we have a kid, we should get married.  *Sigh.*  We’ll cross that bridge when (or if) we get to it.

I dropped off Mom back at her hotel in the late afternoon (Dad was already back), and later that night, after MB came home from work, we went to dinner at Juban, that Japanese barbecue place we like in Japantown.

My parents loved it.  “This is the best meal of the whole vacation,” my dad said.

By Wednesday morning they were off to the airport, and I was back at work and my old routine.  I worked Thursday and Friday as well, and this weekend I plan on writing my next Nervous Breakdown piece, catching up with reading, and toying with upcoming ideas for pieces.

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