The Not-So-Secret Diary of a Bad Luck Girl

So the history prof sent me an email yesterday saying that while he was glad to have met me, he didn’t have time for “serious dating” right now.

Hmm, I must have blacked out during our second date since I don’t remember asking for that at all. Or even discussing anything remotely related.

It doesn’t matter anyway since I wasn’t that into him. Just cracks me up.

Very quiet today what with the upcoming 3-day weekend. Looking forward to a run this afternoon.

So that’s that for the history professor. Why? I’ll tell you:

1) He hasn’t contacted me at all since our date on Friday. Now before you say, “Why don’t you call him?” let me move onto the second reason.

2) I don’t think I could have gotten past his, um, face. Yes, his unattractive face. His unattractive, ugly, ugly face. I was being generous when I thought there might be a possibility, that I’d give him a chance. But I actually woke up Saturday morning thinking, Could I get used to that mug?

There was that study recently which showed that throughout history women have found men with Neanderthal-like features to be more attractive. Think small face and large brow, like Brad Pitt, Johnny Depp, and Orlando Bloom.

The history prof did not look Cro-Magnon. He kind of looked like a primordial dwarf. Do you know what a primordial dwarf looks like? Tiny head, beady close-set eyes, beak of a nose (which on another face might be appealing), tiny mouth, weak chin.

After our second date, I saw a show on primordial dwarves and I couldn’t stop thinking they looked like him. On top of that, he had a double chin and a mouthful of crooked teeth.

Not that the other guys I’ve dated have been models, but at least they were – cute! Pleasant looking. C. had lovely brown eyes. DK’s were bright blue, and he had excellent bone structure. H.’s were a beautiful green, and he had that small face action going. Good-sized brow, strong nose and chin.

But I was willing to get to know the history professor. Love conquers all, right?

3) Not so much. Friday night’s date consisted of his inviting me over to this apartment he was housesitting, which made me feel a bit odd. Earlier we talked about going to a movie, and then he was inviting me over and offering to cook dinner, which is very nice, but maybe a bit early.

Still, I decided to give him the benefit of the doubt, and said how about dinner before and the movie afterwards, to put a timetable on the “in the apartment” action, if there was to be any, which I wanted to keep at a minimum since it was only our second date.

We did kiss, which was fine. I mean, despite being aesthetically-challenged, he was actually a good kisser.

After the movie I was nervous about how I’d make my getaway. There was no way I was going back to his place. I said, in what I thought was a casual tone, “What street are we on? Oh I can catch my bus here!” He even waited with me.

So why no contact afterwards? My conclusion is that he realized that I am not that kind of girl, or at least trying not to be (okay for other people, not good for my self-esteem), and that perhaps we want different things (him: a roll in the hay, me: casual, slow dating). Or that he wasn’t as into me as he thought he was. Here I was thinking I was being all generous, while maybe it was his interest in me that fizzled.

Nah. I’m awesome.

It’s actually a relief that he hasn’t contacted me again. I kept imagining five or six dates from now, and the possibility of having to dump him.

If I have a choice, why not go with cute?

Thursday night was the Pratt open house for their MLS program. It has me jazzed though I’m not yet 100% sure of what I want to focus on.

There seem to be a lot of choices. There’s the WISE program, World Information – Society and Environments, which focuses on business, government, law, and health information, basically the corporate world. There’s the Media Specialist program that includes a teaching certificate if you want to work for a school library (no thanks).

There’s a dual degree program, which includes an MLS and a degree in art history, for working in the art world, museums, or academic libraries. Working in an academic library with a dual degree could land you on the tenure track, according to the woman who spoke.

There are also the Archives Certifcate Program and the Museum Libraries Certificate Program, if you want to work in a museum, archiving and maybe doing public outreach. Right now this option appeals to me the most, but I don’t know if it’s just because I love museums. I also like the idea of being involved with education programs for the public.

A drawback is that the pay would be pretty low, at least at entry level, probably half of what I’m making now, while working in the corporate sector would earn me about the same. I don’t think I’d want to work in a law library; the only somewhat interesting corporate sector would be a media company.

Yesterday I spoke with my company’s corporate librarian, and one thing for sure: I do not want to work for my company as a librarian. There used to be a information center. That’s gone. Although I think a digital library is imperative nowadays, there’s something to be said for an actual space where people can talk face-to-face with librarians and searchers, to think literally outside the box of an office, and to talk to each other and have a sense of community.

Also my company has split off the searchers and the digital folks, all of whom are librarians. Makes no sense to me.

The woman had some good information though, likening librarians to detectives, and reaffirming the importance of having expertise in the digital space. She has a cousin who just started working at a financial institution as a librarian, and said if her cousin were up to it, I could talk to her. That would be good. I want to get as much information as I can right now.

At the Open House there were a ton of people. The smallish room was jam packed. I wish the other schools in the city would have open houses too. I’ll probably start the application process soon.

Had meetings all morning, from 9 to 12:30, and now I have one from 2 to 3:30. Of course I have work to do but I can’t seem to muster the energy right now.

Very social this week for a change. Monday night YP had a stand-up show. The audience was the most high-energy that I’ve ever seen. Also, there was one insane woman who cracked up over everything, even just the anticipation of a joke.

Last night I hung out with SG and her fiance who are in town for a few days. Had a great dinner with some of their other friends at this tapas place. Laughed a whole lot.

Tonight I have nothing – yay! – except the gym since I couldn’t get up early enough this morning. Tomorrow’s the MLS open house at this school nearby.

Funny: my last meeting ran over. People were still talking, but it had nothing to do with me so I just left. As I made my way to the elevator, I ran into the woman from the library/information center, with whom I’m meeting on Friday on career possibilities in library science. I basically never run into her, and only recognize her because she made a presentation to our team a couple of years ago. I introduced myself and we chatted a little on the elevator.

I thought it was kind of weird. Like, if I hadn’t left that meeting at that time, I would have missed her completely.

My brain has transformed from desert to cotton field.

So my date overall was pretty fun. When it started I was unsure. We arranged to meet at a bar downtown, and I got there super early – which I hate but can’t seem to help – so I went to the Whole Foods nearby and downed an Odawala juice since I was a little hungry and would be having a drink. By the time I returned to the bar, he was there.

The first thing I thought was that he looked rather different than his picture. Then again, his picture was kind of hard to see. If he walked by on the street, I wouldn’t turn my head, but he has the body type I like, tallish and slim, also fit.

Second thing I thought was either I’m overdressed or he’s underdressed. What I wore: jeans, cute short-sleeved button-up black top, and high-heeled boots. What he wore: T-shirt, shorts, sneakers. Hm. Whatever.

He talked a lot and a mile a minute, which was sort of a relief because I hate those silences. And he did ask me some questions about myself, and vice versa. What I liked was that he’s really into movies and has read a lot, and is not discerning in his tastes. Like he’s into both art house and mainstream flicks, as well as literature and lighter reading.

He seemed to know more trivia about movies than I do. I always feel like the one freak who knows some random fact about an actor or movie, but he seemed to be that way too.

Then somehow we started talking about children’s and young adult books, and he mentioned Madeleine L’Engle, who I LOVED as a kid, and still do now. I’ve met people who have heard of her, and maybe even read her, but not anyone who was as into those books as I was.

I mentioned that I liked the last book in the Wrinkle in Time trilogy best, A Swiftly Tilting Planet, and we started talking about it in-depth. He kept mentioning characters from it – Meg, Calvin, Calvin’s mom – which cracked my shit up because again I thought I was the one freak who practically memorized the book.

“I don’t think the words, ‘Branzilla,’ have ever passed through my lips,” he said.

Branzilla was another character in the book. “I don’t think I’ve ever heard it said aloud,” I said.

And we both thought a novel one of the characters writes in the book was real, and as kids both did research trying to find any info on it.

We’re supposed to hang out again, see a movie or something.

Aside from that, my weekend was pretty uneventful. I had a long run on Saturday – well, long for me – at 9.75 miles. Once around the Loop, twice around the Reservoir. It was a gorgeous day, sunny and cool, but the sun was a bit of a challenge, as was climbing stairs afterwards.

Also some writing, some shopping. Now I’m hungover, like I said. I have one short meeting and one longer meeting, both this morning. Not so bad I guess.

Maybe I’m just not in a blogging frame of mind lately. I’ve been working on my other writing – the positive thinking essay, a running essay, the second part of my memoir – and have started trying to take more pictures again. Also reading a lot. Bloodletting and Miraculous Cures is pretty engrossing.

I thought it was a novel, but it’s actually more like a series of vignettes with the same cast of doctors. Most of the vignettes focus on a particular patient, and once the patient leaves the doctor, the story for that person is over, like on E/R, which always leaves me feeling a bit dissatisfied. Like, did the mother live? did the baby? is the baby healthy? I wouldn’t go as far as to say it’s a great book, like The Kite Runner and Atonement are great books, but I like it very much.

I’ve been obsessed with running, actually scheduling it into my weekends. This afternoon or more likely tomorrow I hope to run 10 miles. (6 on Sunday, 4 on Tuesday, 4 yesterday.)

I reactivated my online ad once again. Eep.

This time around: lots of dating. Lots and lots of dating with a variety of people before you-know-what. I’m gonna party like it’s 1959.