The Not-So-Secret Diary of a Bad Luck Girl

Sometimes I’m just flabbergasted by people’s behavior.

Last night I was on my way to MB’s from class, minding my own beeswax, when a couple of stops before his, these three little teeny boppers got on.

I have no idea how old they were. Coulda been 16, couldba been 21. Either way all three, two girls and a guy, were wearing those obnoxious skinny hipster jeans, while both girls had giant Marc Jacobs bags.

So I already hated them, and even more so when one of the girls pulled a frigging flask out of said Marc Jacobs bag. What is this, 1929?

Then flask girl asked the other girl, “Is this just like Chicago?” to which Chicago girl answered, “Oh yeah, this train is definitely like Chicago,” then pointed at random things, saying how they were like Chicago.

Then the next thing I knew, she was pointing AT ME and saying, “Well except for her. . .” then mumbled something and snickered.

Are you fucking kidding me?

In the past I might have just looked away and not said anything. Or if I were sitting next to someone, we might have exchanged incredulous glances, and that would have been the end of it. But I wasn’t next to someone. I was by myself and not in the mood to take shit from some little pissant.

So I started staring at her. I stared and stared, and she got all squirmy and uncomfortable. Then I stared at the other two, who wouldn’t even catch my eye. For the rest of the train ride, I’d look away, then stare at that girl again.

When it was time for me to get off, I stood and kept looking at her with a quizzical expression. At that point, she tried to smile at me and make nice, but I just kept staring. Finally I turned to get ready to get off the train, and I heard them snickering again and making comments.

Is this frigging junior high or what?

I got off the train but was so pissed off, I went back, and standing in the open doorway, gave Chicago girl the finger and told her to fuck off. Her reaction was priceless:

Ah, the trials and tribulations of riding the subway.

~~~

In other news, there’s been a big shake up here at work. My team, which had 10 people, now has 5. Five, as of Monday, have new jobs and report to a new boss, the lucky stiffs. We all found this out yesterday.

You’d think the five who are moving over would be dancing in the streets, but they are pretty shocked and feel bad about those of left behind with our awful, micromanaging boss. Also, they don’t really know what their new jobs look like.

I’m glad for the shake up. Things couldn’t have continued as they were. My boss’ vision was muddled and unmanageable. Yes, my workload will increase for some time, but whatever. I’ve been through so many changes with this team. The others feel bad though, I think. Although the way the five were picked was sort of random, those left behind feel overlooked I think.

Keeping my fingers crossed re: new job prospects.

Plus I got a bit more sleep last night, plus all my morning meetings were canceled. So I’m feeling pretty good.

You know how I hate presenting but the short one I gave in Las Vegas went okay? Well, this week people have been giving me with compliments. I heard you were the best presenter. You were so funny. You were so relaxed up there. I appreciate the praise but I also feel like, Well, I only had three slides to remember.

Then again, maybe I succeeded in psyching myself out. Because I kept thinking, Well I only have three slides to remember, I felt confident and that came through. I’m sure I’d have been more nervous and stiff if I had as much to remember as my co-workers. But this could be my breakthrough. Maybe next time I’ll remember this feeling, even if I have a zillion slides to present.

For our Library Professions class, we have two presentations to give, and I am suddenly feeling excited about them, when just a few weeks ago, I felt nervous. It really helps to try to convert that anxiety into excitement.

Speaking of library school, last night we had a guest lecturer, a librarian from the Princeton Public Library, which is apparently kick-ass (please note, Princeton Public Library, not the Princeton University library).

I’d pretty much assumed that I’d be a corporate librarian, but as I keep hearing and reading about public libraries, I’m becoming more intrigued by that venue instead. The pay is crap, but it might be fun to do educational programs and outreach and help the community. Of course I don’t have to decide right now. I might still pay the Princeton Public Library a visit since that’s basically my hometown.

I got an interview set up for another job I applied for at my company. While the other one is basically running the operational side of customer programs, this one is about developing and coordinating corporate communications, which I might like better. That’s on Friday.

MB downloaded a bunch of It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia episodes, and so we’ve been watching those. I’d never seen that show before. It’s freaking hilarious.

Guess I should do some work.

Got maybe 6 hours, which usually is okay, but for some reason today I’m very tired.

Friday was basically a wasted day at work. Had one stupid meeting, and then because of the snow the offices closed at 2. MB was still at work so I just hung out, doing schoolwork. We grabbed dinner at Metrazur in Grand Central.

Had a nice weekend. Spent a good chunk of time, but less than I anticipated, working on my Andrew Carnegie paper. Saturday was finishing up research and typing up my notes, while Sunday was actually writing. I got most of it done before MB and I headed out in the afternoon.

We hit another museum, the Met this time. Actually we wanted to go to the Guggenheim and check out the crazy Cai Guo-Qiang exhibit that includes a huge arc of what look like stuffed wolves (they’re actually made of wire and papier mache, and covered in goat skin). But because the exhibit just opened on Friday, it was a madhouse, so we went to the Met instead.

We got there an hour before closing, but because my corporate ID gets us in free, we didn’t mind. We just wandered around, stopping to look at the instruments exhibit as well as arms and armour. Next time we’re going for longer.

I don’t feel like doing anything today. This morning I had a slew of meetings, then my second interview for that job. I guess it was okay, but again it’s hard to tell.

Have class tonight. Gonna try to work out beforehand.

Thank God. How I loved seeing the dingy buildings of Queens on my taxi ride home. How I missed walking around outside, though it was cold as a mofo last night and snowing like crazy today, so not that enjoyable. But at least I didn’t have to walk through a smoky casino and get totally lost.

My time in Vegas was soso. I didn’t have the chance to go outside at all, and missed seeing dayling and whatnot, but like I said, at least my presentation went well and I had a beautiful room with three – count ‘em, THREE – flat screen TVs. One in the sleeping area, one in the living room, and one in the BATHROOM, which I didn’t even notice till my last day.

However, the problem was they were all HD so anything not in HD looked like crap, distorted and grainy. I ended up watching HD Discovery! and random movies like Lawrence of Arabia and The Natural. They did look really amazing.

Wednesday night I ended up going to the wrong dinner. Our group has a new name, which I didn’t recognize, so while all my teammates went there, I went to the one I usually go to. I recognized some people from headquarters, but no one from my own team, and ended up making small talk with a bunch of strangers, which I HATE.

Afterwards as I was walking back through the casino, I heard my name, and there were my co-workers playing slots. I ended up hanging out with them till about 11, or 2 AM eastern time, and then didn’t get to sleep till almost one after packing and chatting with MB. Had to wake up at 4:30 to catch my 7:30 flight, which got me in barely in time for class at 6:30. So needless to say it was challenge to get through that particularly boring class.

Today it’s snow snow snow. In fact our offices have already closed and I’m just hanging out. Had my first interview for that position I want. I guess it went well – it didn’t go badly – but it’s always hard to tell. I have another interview for the same position on Monday.

This weekend it’s all about homework. I’m a little behind with reading for my boring class, and I have a short paper for the Monday one. We have to write about a “library leader” and how they contributed to the library profession. My choice is Andrew Carnegie.

I picked up this book, which may have been a mistake because it’s a zillion pages and goes on and on about his businesses, as well it should but it’s not necessary for my 5-page essay. I’m trying my best to skim through it at least, and concentrate on the sections that talk about his contributions to public libraries.

I’ve been neglecting my own writing lately. After this weekend I want to pick it up again.

What happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas . . . only not this time.

I’m here not for a family reunion but a meeting. This morning was our team’s presentation, and I had all but three slides and so wasn’t having conniptions like I usually do. Still there were about 500 people in the audience. Skerry!

It went well though. Right before we went on, my co-worker, who was also quite nervous, and I chatted with a colleague who’s a really good speaker. She said her thing is she’s been doing it all her life and has always seen it as fun, not scary. So I tried to change my nervous energy into feeling excited. Maybe it worked.

I broke with a small joke, and later as I was talking, the laptop on the podium starting beeping really loudly and wouldn’t stop, and I said, “Should I be worried about that?” and kept going. Yay me!

This afternoon I didn’t have anything to do so I’m here in my luxurious room. We’re at the Venetian, and the rooms are gorgeous! We all have suites that are about three times the size of my apartment. Plus the bathroom has one of amazing shower stalls that are like a giant glass cube. Tonight there’s a dinner, and then I fly out tomorrow morning.

Okay now for the catch-up.

The first weekend in February, I visited the ‘rents’ for the new year. It was pretty low-key: shopping, dinner, lounging around. I came back Sunday morning because MB and I had plans to visit the Nicholas Roerich Museum on the Upper West Side. It was tiny and in what used to be a brownstone and free. Yay, free!

While we were walking around up there, we got caught in the most bizarre snowstorm. It came out of nowhere and snowed really hard for about 20 minutes so that when we showed up at the museum, we were covered in snow. Ten minutes later, the sky was clear and sunny. Weird!

As for Valentine’s Day, MB and I didn’t go out of our way to do anything special. I had class that night, and, this is gross but every day with MB is like Valentine’s Day. (I warned you.)

This past weekend MB and I hung out a lot. Once day, we walked around Chinatown (which we’ve never done before despite the fact that he lives not far from it), where we ran into lion dancers collecting their hong bao from the different businesses, as well as a market selling a barrelful of live frogs, from which one discerning shopper picked a plump and lively specimen for what I imagine to be a very special dinner.

We also realized MB lives near Guss’ Pickles, the same one that’s in Crossing Delancey. We love pickles! and bought two quarts, one regular and one spicy. I’m not going to tell how many that boy can eat in one sitting. Yikes.

Saturday we saw a midnight showing of A Clockwork Orange. It was kind of disturbing but also very ’70s. Not that one should cancel out the other, but I kept getting distracted by the clothes and hairstyles, and the funny 1970s vision of THE FUTURE (which apparently involves pod-like furniture, unitards, and mini cassette tapes).

I land tomorrow around 3, and then have class that night. (Finished my assignment just now, yay!) Friday I have an interview for this position I applied for at my company. It’s very similar to what I do now, ie running customer programs, but the audience for the programs is different. Then the weekend, yippee!

Okay, so I’ve been absolutely awful about keeping up in here. Same old excuses: work, school, the boy.

Last week I had another excuse: AWP, otherwise known as the biggest frigging writers’ conference ever. It was good though a little overwhelming. Usually I go to the one the Small Press Center throws every April – this was about 10 times bigger.

All in all the panels were inspiring, and there seemed to be less tolerance of dumbass questions from the audience. Usually I’m the only one leaving when Q&A starts, but people left in droves.

One of the dumbest question? To an author of a historical novel: “How did you find the old letters and diaries you used?”

The author: “Um, I looked for them.”

Dumbass: “Yes, but how did you get started?”

Audience member: “Ask your librarian!”

Word. Don’t waste our or the author’s time.

I went to several sessions on Thursday, just a few on Friday since I had to annoyingly go back to the office, and just three on Saturday but they were very good: the Art of Writing Craft and a couple on memoir. By then PL and I met up, and we ended up wandering around the very very crowded book fair before finally heading out to do what we do best: eat and chat.

This Sunday of course was the Superbowl. PL had a party for her hubby, which she had described in the invitation as a Superbowl party, but for some reason I thought she was being ironic.

Neither MB nor I are football fans, but it was still fun, especially watching everyone get so riled up. I swear I thought someone was going to have a heart attack.

Apparently yesterday there was a parade. I had no idea. Plus it was Mardi Gras, plus it was Super Tuesday. Craziness. And tonight is Chinese New Year’s Eve. It’s the year of the rat, which means one thing to me: I’ll be turning 36.

Wah.