The Not-So-Secret Diary of a Bad Luck Girl

So last night I handed in my term paper and gave my presentation. We had the option of yesterday or next Monday to present (all papers were still due yesterday), so of course I went with yesterday to get it overwith.

I guess my presentation was fine, though my argument was probably a little flimsy at the end. And I was totally under the 10 minute mark. I was coming to a close when I suddenly realized the professor hadn’t given me even the 2 minute warning, and so I slowed waaay down. Came in at about 8 minutes.

Now I have some free time till my final for Knowledge Organization on 5/8.

As for right now, I am totally skipping a meeting. My boss has the tendency to set up meetings with vague titles and no agenda. It’s like if this has no immediate bearing on my job, I’m not going. We also have a team meeting soon. Blah. What I hate most is my boss’s “around the horn,” during which he makes everyone talk about their projects. For me it’s always like, “Well I redesigned this page on our website, and I got some stuff through review committee.”

In team meetings with my old boss, if you had something you thought everyone should know, you put it on the agenda. You didn’t waste everyone’s time talking just because you’re expected to talk.

Speaking of my old boss, I ran into him at the cafeteria. He’s really happy for me in my new job, and went on about how my current boss is “delusional.” He heard that my old boss is posting for positions one to two levels higher than mine, which I’d seen on the job boards. Again, someone at that level is not going to want to do the nitty gritty stuff associated with my job, and again, my boss has refused to listen. Even my old boss agreed the team needs not just one but two operational people. Glad someone agrees with me.

In other news, I got my renewed driver’s license in the mail today. Yay! When I sent in the request, I sort of felt like I was sending it into a black hole. But just two weeks later, I have a brand new license. Now I just need to renew my passport.

Also canceled my Con Ed account, and put in a forwarding address request on Friday. TCOB!

Today will be my last day in old apartment. I’m going there after work to throw out the last batch of stuff, and take with me a few random things, including my cable box. Hopefully it won’t take too long.

For some reason I couldn’t sleep last night. MB and I were out late – we saw Harold and Kuamr Escape from Guantamono Bay, very entertaining – and didn’t get back till almost 2. Then I just lay there till almost 5. I think it was all the Hi-C I drank at the movie theatre. All that sugar.

Aside from the movie, I spent most of the weekend working on my term paper and accompanying presentation. Friday I typed up my research notes and ideas. Saturday I was at my parents’ house. We spent the afternoon shopping – got some new shoes – but that night I wrote the majority of my paper, finishing it up Sunday morning before heading back to New York.

Sunday afternoon I created the presentation, and today I polished off the paper and rehearsed my presentation once. Should be okay. Presenting to my classmates is very different than presenting to 500 sales people.

My move, my current job, the spring semester – funny how all of these things are wrapping up at the same time.

First, the move
The woman moving into my apartment took a look at my furniture on Tuesday, and she’s taking most of it. The couch, the TV and stand, a chair, a dresser, and a large desk I keep in the kitchen. Yay! Getting rid of the couch and TV would have been such a pain.

I need to get rid of: the coffee table, two boxes of books, one box of kitchen stuff, two vases, and a broken down shoe cabinet, which I’ll have to take apart. Since I have half-day tomorrow, I’m going to spend all afternoon taking care of this stuff.

It just hit me yesterday that I only have till next Wednesday to finish everything up. I still have to:

Change my address, though the woman said she’d let me know if anything important slipped through, and I’ll go pick it up.

Cancel my cable, which means undoing all the equipment and dropping it off at my cable company, which, luckily, is close to work.

Cancel my Con Ed.

Crap!

Funny how those last few things can sneak up on you like that.

The job
You think I didn’t care before? I so don’t care now.

I had a transition meeting with my boss on Monday, and now I know: he will be super annoying till the bitter end. A lot of what I do, like I’ve said before, is very operational. For example, uploading documents to a website, making sure we have enough materials for our educational programs, and dealing with issues that are small but can still keep a program from running properly.

My boss has it in his mind that the director of operations in sales will be willing to handle these small, tactical things.

A director. This means she’s three levels above me.

She did volunteer to own the website, which she’s been wanting to get her hands on for some time. But I know her: she wants it so that she can make all the business decisions on how it’s designed, what information is on it, etc. She won’t want to sit there uploading frigging PDFs and implementing HTML. I don’t think she even knows how.

My boss is retarded.

Also another one of my “projects,” which isn’t really a project, hence the quotes, is purchasing these e-guidelines and licenses for this online tool. All it is is coordinating the purchase. We do the same thing every year. But does he have an easy answer for how to proceed?

“Well, I think we should have a meeting with this person, and this person, and this person, and this person, and discuss how it’s being used, and determine how we should use it, and what’s the best way, and – “

“Do I need to be involved in this?”

I don’t, thank God. My boss said he’ll be, quote, a nice guy, and take it over himself.

If I ever I’m in a leadership position, what I’ll do is surround myself with highly competent people I trust, and you know, TRUST THEM, and let them do the work. I do this now. I have a budget coordinator I’d trust with my life, as well as someone in operations. They are awesome and I let them run the show. My boss’ philosophy is to get into nitty gritty details, and to know as much as those people. Well, then what about my own job?

Retard.

Oh, did I say that already? My bad.

School
So my first semester is coming to a close. This Monday I have a term paper and presentation due, and I’ve only started the research. I think after midterm I felt sort of pooped out, and have been slacking. But at least I know what I want to write about, and have just a few more articles to read.

Tonight I have to schlep out to Brooklyn for class. It’ll take me an hour to get there, dammit.

The final for that class is on May 8. It was supposed to be on May 2, but the teacher will be at some conference. That’s okay. That means that after I turn in my term paper and give my presentation on 4/28, I’ll have some free time before May 8. Then first summer session starts the next week.

Okay, back to work.

So lunch with my parents went fine.

But backing up first. Friday was more birthday fun. I left the office at 1. Originally ES and SB were supposed to come to my office, but ES had a ton of stuff and SB had been up all night with her toddler who had broken out in some allergic reaction during the day. She was fine – just one big hive – but they were afraid she’d go into anaphylactic shock. She didn’t. She played around the ER telling everyone how itchy she was.

We had lunch at this Chinese place, then walked around. All of this took a surprisingly long time, but I had a great time chatting and catching up with SB and ES. It was about 6 by the time I headed downtown.

I know I was supposed to have noodles, but I really wasn’t in the mood. What I was in the mood for were burgers so MB and I went over to Five Guys Burgers and Fries. It was sooo good. My burger was two patties. I saw it and said, “I’m never going to finish this,” but I did. Easily.

Later we saw a midnight showing of Forbidden Kingdom. It wasn’t the best movie, but it was definitely fun. There were some really noisy guys near us – about eight of them spread out across the theatre. They kept yelling to each other, but the minute the movie started, they were almost silent. Funny.

We got back really late, around 3, then were up at 9. My parents’ train was coming in at 12:40, and we’d be meeting them at Penn Station.

I was definitely nervous. I mean as three separate individuals, MB and my parents are fine. But worlds colliding – ack! We were waiting around for a bit by the time my parents came up to us. The first thing I noticed was how dressed up they were. My mom had said my dad wondered if he should wear a tie. Wha??? He didn’t but he did have a jacket and vest on over his button-up shirt (and it was hot, well over 70), and my mom had about three necklaces on. MB and I were in jeans.

The second thing? My mom looked MB up and down with a big grin on her face. I knew was she was thinking. “Oh, he’s tall!” Anyway, I had no reason to be nervous. We all got along swimmingly, laughing and talking and joking like MB had known our family for years.

We walked over to Koreatown, and had a lunch of bibimbap, barbecue beef, and for me, noodles, finally. It was so funny: MB, who isn’t Asian, was the one who did all the ordering. He lived in Korea for a year when he was in the Army, and is well-versed, at least more than my parents, in Korean cuisine. I’m sure the waitress thought my parents and I were the Korean ones, and was wondering what the hell was going on.

I had told my mother not to give MB any unsolicited advice about his job. Instead she gave us some about our relationship. “You’re very lucky to have met,” she said, meaning out of all the hundreds, even thousands, of people dating online, how lucky the two of us were to have connected. I guess she’s right, but it’s something we both already know.

I knew my mother would like MB. She likes people who are talkative and tell stories about themselves without bragging.

The meeting was short and sweet. After lunch we rode the train together. MB and I got off at Union Square while my parents continued down to Chinatown.

Later my mom called twice, once while we were at dinner and then later when I was already falling asleep (before 10 – I know: I’m a total wimp). I finally talked to her today, after waking up at noon – gee, was I tired?

All she said was, “I like everything,” and then said I should come home for a visit, which is true since I haven’t been since the Lunar New Year. This upcoming weekend while MB is away, checking out the possibility of a consulting gig. He’ll be flying into Newark Sunday afternoon so I can meet him there on my way back to the city. Yay!

I can’t believe I slept so much. I think it was a combination of not getting a lot of sleep, having a busy day on Friday, and a somehow stressful/busy day on Saturday. After lunch we bought a bookcase and some other shelving units, and set those up. Our place is looking much better, more organized and like a home. It’s funny how the bookcase really brings the place together.

Today I got the brainstorm to use the shelving we had been using for random junk in the closet instead. So now our towels and bedding are more organized, and we can store things on top of the shelving as well. We also ordered a dresser, which is arriving May 9.

This afternoon we had a late lunch, and walked around. He had to go meet with a fellow industry nerd, and I had to go to my place to sell my nightstand to someone. I’m so sick of the furniture selling. I had posted the nightstand for $50, but I let it go for $25. I deleted my ad.

I’ve been in touch with the woman moving into my place, and she may actually take whatever furniture I have left. She expressed interest in my bed, and while we were talking, it came up that she has almost no furniture. She’ll be by Tuesday night to take a look at everything. That would make things so much easier for me. All I have left to bring over are a lamp, my dust buster, a pair of small weights, and a few random small things.

Tonight I brought back a box of kitchen things. Time to organize, woohoo!

Well, actually it’s mine.

My thirty-sixth year, the year of the rat. Yikes! Closer to 40 (!!!) now than to 30. Wow, I think I just felt a lung collapse.

No, but generally I feel happy and grateful. The new job, the boy, school. All I need to do now is start writing more again.

MB’s gift to me was cooking dinner, but he got mixed up on the date and did it last night. He was so annoyed at himself at first, but quickly got over it.

“It’s my birthday eve dinner,” I told him.

He made lovely salmon steaks, steamed artichokes, and sweet potato fries. For dessert we had little cakes from our favorite pastry shop.

I guess I am not too picky when it comes to birthdays. My ex would always get me nice jewelry, but I’ll take lots of affection and attention over jewelry. There was one birthday my ex completely forgot – not even a happy birthday or anything – and that was devastating.

Tonight MB and I are going out to dinner for a second birthday celebration, long noodles for a long life.

“It’ll be a tradition,” he said. “I’ll make you birthday eve dinner, then we’ll have noodles on your birthday.”



ES is in town this weekend, and we’ll be having lunch and hanging out this afternoon. Yay! Tomorrow, the ‘rents.

There goes the other lung.

Dear Anna May,

Congratulations!

We are pleased to have received your acceptance of our offer for Manager, Communications.

Yay!

Late yesterday afternoon, my boss got the phone call from HR, this morning I got the call, and then in the afternoon the email. My new boss and I have been playing phone tag. Hopefully we’ll talk tomorrow.

As for my start date, it will be either May 1 or May 16, due to the pay schedule. God, I hope it’s May 1. I wouldn’t mind it being 5/16 except literally today someone came up with the bright idea of holding a half day workshop sometime during the week of 5/12. And who has to do all the work for the workshop? Yours truly.

A couple of people on my team will be able to take over some of my work, but I don’t know who’s going to do the rest, which is very operational. My teammates are all in higher positions than I am and will not want to do that stuff.

I remember back to when our team was first formed last summer, and my suggestion for an operations manager role (me) plus someone junior to me who I could train and pass on institutional knowledge, in case I wanted to move up out of operations or leave the team. In fact, there was an administrative assistant who was already doing that and wanted do more in that kind of role.

But my boss didn’t want to “waste” a headcount on an operations person, and instead hired nine more people to do a whole lotta nothing, and ended up losing five recently to another team. So after I leave there will be no one to do the operational day to day that keeps things going.

Haha on him.

Sitcomgirl’s recent post reminded me: my parents are meeting MB for the first time this weekend.

Sitcomgirl wondered in her post when the right time is to meet the parents. I’m not sure, but I think it’s when you decide this person is important and may be in your life for awhile. At the same time, I don’t think it should be that big of a deal. It’s not like the next step is picking out china patterns.

I met my ex’s parents a couple of months after we started dating. He was still hopeful then, and at first his mother seemed to like me. But then I didn’t help clear the dishes after dinner, and plus I wasn’t Korean, and oh yeah over Christmas I had given my ex a black angelfish, which, I didn’t know, is hugely bad luck in their culture.

My ex didn’t meet my parents till that May, at my graduation, and for whatever reason my mother took an instant disliking to him, which of course he didn’t like (who would?). So after that and for many years, we hid our relationship, which put a strain on us.

Eventually both sets of parents came around, but even afterwards, and after our marriage, there continued to be a strain, and that, along with a variety of other factors, led to our breakup.

Sometimes I think marriage would be okay if not for the in-laws.

MB isn’t close with his biological parents, but he does have parental figures in his life, and I met the dad a couple of months ago. He was in town for a visit, and said that he wanted to meet me. He was supernice. Very warm and laid-back. He told MB I was a keeper and invited us about 10 times to visit him and the rest of the family out west.

I had told my mother about MB in November. I was tempted to continue to hide him, but I had done that with my ex, and didn’t want to do that anymore. A couple of months ago, my mother made a weird suggestion: arrange a lunch with me, MB, and my aunt who works in the city.

“Why?” I asked. “Does Auntie want to meet him?”

“I want her to meet him.”

Reconnaisance.

I told my brother this, who said, “Why don’t Mom and Dad just meet him?” I made that suggestion, but my mother kept insisting to set up lunch with the apathetic aunt. It was only when my brother told our mother she and our dad should go into the city and have a meal with us that she finally saw the light.

So that’s this Saturday. Lunch, and then my parents will be on their own checking out Korean DVDs in Chinatown.

Still, the scheduled meeting didn’t stop my mother from being annoying. Like me, she has a tendency to worry, and to make up things to worry about even if everything seems okay. For instance yesterday:

Her: Are you guys sure you want to meet?
Me: Why? What do you mean?
Her: Is he being hesitant about it? Is he reluctant?
Me: Where did you get that idea, Mom? From imagination land?

She had to laugh.

Like me she interprets the unknown negatively, even after I told her MB said, and I quote, “I’d love to meet your parents.”

*Sigh.*