The Not-So-Secret Diary of a Bad Luck Girl

It’s been a quiet week at work, but sort of hectic for school. My last web design class was Monday, which was fine except we had to present our websites, not one of my favorite things. My new class, Electronic Resources and Services, started the next day.

The class seems okay so far. It’s good to be learning something library-related again. The web design class was purely tactical and wasn’t put in the context of library science at all. But there’s tons of reading for this class. Since it’s a summer session, it’s compressed, which means two three-hour classes a week – which means a reading assignment due just a couple of days after the first class.

The books are on reserve at the school library, but I wanted to buy them. On Wednesday I schlepped up to a bookstore near work. No such luck – not really surprising since why would a retail store have library science books? After work I went to another store that has a lot of text books – again, nada, except for one, a puny workbook type that was $65! Um, yeah, I don’t think so.

On top of that, I couldn’t even get to the online articles during the day. The professor had said our school library had them – wrong! They’re available through NYPL, but did I have my library card with me, which I haven’t used in 13 years? Of course not!

Luckily I found it at home, and surprisingly it worked! So at least I was able to email the articles to myself to print the next day and read, yes, during work. Also during work yesterday, I hauled my cookies to my school library to copy the reading for the day – but guess what, closed! It was supposed to open at 10, but for some reason yesterday it didn’t open till 12. I got there about 11:20, and like a dumbass didn’t even bring my other reading with me. I ended up eating a piece of pizza and wandering aimlessly around Urban Outfitters.

Then when I was finally able to get my hands on the books and start copying, I realized: I didn’t have enough frigging change! It was one disaster after another. I managed to copy most of one assignment, and read the other one there. Yes, during work. *Sigh.*

I felt better when I got back to the office. Nothing urgent had come up while I was out, and I was able to do my reading pretty quickly.

Today I’m printing out as much as I can, to be prepared for the upcoming weeks, and after work today I’m going to the library AGAIN and copying as much as I can. This time I’m armed with change and dollar bills.

What else? I got my Amazon purchases – yay, books! My brother had given me a gift certificate last Christmas, and I kept forgetting to use it. I got:

• Two books by Mary Doria Russell, The Sparrow and Children of God - Really good sci fi books that YP introduced me to years ago.
• The Executioner’s Song, by Normal Mailer – Never had the chance to read it. Liked In Cold Blood so I figure I’d like this too.
• The Reserve, by Russell Banks – His newest.
• The Cactus Eaters: How I Lost My Mind – and Almost Found Myself – on the Pacific Crest Trail, by Dan White – A travel memoir.
• Making the Perfect Pitch: How to Catch a Literary Agent’s Eye - Speaks for itself.

Right now I’m reading the Best American Short Stories 2006, which I kept forgetting I had. Ann Patchett is the editor, and so far every story gives me tingles. Reading Alice Munro’s “The View from Castle Rock,” makes me want to run out and get the collection.

In other news, MB and I have been talking about where we’d like to live next. Amsterdam? Prague? Poland? MB’s line of work is portable, and I’m not that attached to my job here, though we probably wouldn’t do this for at least a year, year and a half, since I still have school.

I’m definitely eager to live someplace new. I’ve been in New York for almost 10 years now, and am not ready to buy something and not budge for the next 30 years, or even the next five.

The only issue would be what I would do. MB can do what he does from anywhere, but I’m not sure what kind of job I could get in a place like Amsterdam. I think most people there speak English so I doubt there’s much of a market for ESL teachers. Could I be a librarian there? I’m not sure. Then there are my newly acquired – and still acquiring – corporate communication skills. Those may be the most transferable.

As we were talking, I joked, “Or I could just lounge around all day.”

MB said, “No way!” and I thought well, of course I have to work too and contribute to our living expenses, duh! But then he said, “You’d have to be doing stuff. Writing and blogging, sending your stuff out.”

Well, yeah! Hopefully I’d be doing that even while working, but I didn’t know he might be cool with my doing that and NOT working. Then again, it might be a short stint abroad, a year or less. Who knows.

Part of me is tempted to speed up finishing school, ie, take three classes in the fall and spring so that I’d be done in May 2009, as opposed to two each semester, which would put me at an August 2009 graduation date. But I don’t think I can handle three classes at a time. I imagine the workload will just increase.

In more news, I’m still coughing. Last night I had a bad attack. MB said, “I think it’s time to break out the inhaler.” I didn’t want to, but then he said, “Please? For me?” and I couldn’t resist.

The thing is, I did feel better afterwards. The coughing pretty much stopped. I used it again this morning (supposed to do it twice a day till it’s empty). I guess my coughing is better.

Harumph. I still don’t think I have asthma though. Harumph, harumph.

Don’t know how I went a whole week without blogging. Wasn’t even that busy last week.

Today is my last web design class. We had a make-up class on Saturday, and so I was able to finish up my project that day and upload it to the share drive. It’s pretty basic, but the teacher said it was good enough. Today we have to “present” it to the class, which just means projecting it for everyone to see, and then walking through it. Not a formal presentation, but still embarrassing.

My old boss continues to annoy me. Normally I wouldn’t mind answering questions, but he asks in such an off-putting way, not even addressing me directly but cc’ing me on a message and addressing me in third person, ie, “Hopefully Anna May can help,” instead of, “Anna May, can you help?” It’s a subtle yet significant difference. He’d do that when I worked for him, but now it’s like, “Dude, I’m doing you a favor on someone else’s dime. At least address me directly.” At this rate, I may stop answering his emails altogether.

Friday YP and I went to a showing of the movie Grease, which was also a sing-a-long. I expected a lot more people to be there, but the theatre wasn’t even halfway full. Some people showed up in costume, which for the guys meant white T-shirts and jeans. There was a costume contest at the beginning. Neither of us had patience for it, especially since it was a midnight showing.

But it was fun overall. In addition to singing, we kept making snarky comments – “Yes, hello, I’m 30 and I’m still in high school” – and pointing out plot holes, like couldn’t have Sandy gotten the message to Danny that she wasn’t going back to Australia? Wouldn’t she have called him right away? Also, what’s the message of the movie? Give into peer pressue and you’ll be cool!

I had had a glass and a half of wine so the next day I was pretty hungover (yes I know: wimp). Luckily my class was at 11. It wasn’t so bad actually. I enjoyed the A/C as a I fiddled around with my website and downed some coffee, and only half paid attention to the teacher.

For the rest of the weekend, MB and I hung out, doing some work, walking around the city, eating. We watched a couple of episodes of Deadwood, which were really good.

Woke up at 5:30 this morning and couldn’t fall back asleep. Not so bad, but I went to bed late, around 1, so now I’m tired.

There goes my rule about no posting at work.

Had what felt like a busy weekend. Friday afternoon I was able to leave work a little early and head home before going to class. MB and I also had a chance to grab something to eat. I figured I could be a little late since it was a makeup class on a Friday night.

It was very very boring. Walked through a bunch of examples again, this time using Flash. One of my classmates has spent the last few classes working on her final project. I should have done the same, and will definitely do so tonight. This week we’re not meeting on Wednesday since the teacher will be at some conference; makeup is on Saturday, blech. At least it doesn’t start till 11, and I have the rest of the week free after today.

After class MB and I ate dinner, then went to see The Incredible Hulk. It was good! The theatre was jam packed. We were in the balcony, and there were some idiots down below who kept laughing at not-funny parts, like they were in junior high or something.

We didn’t get back till almost 3, so I slept in till about 11. We hung around, then went off to Chelsea Market for my dad’s Father Day gifts – teas, chocolate, and red wine, an antioxidant feast. On the way, we totally got caught in a thunderstorm. At first it was just a steady rain, but then we stopped in this coffee place, got my coffee, looked out the window, and it was a monsoon.

We waited a few minutes, but then, at least according to MB, it started to slow. “Let’s go,” he said.

“Are you sure?” I asked. “Let’s wait a little longer.”

“I think it’s slowing. C’mon, let’s go.”

It was not slowing. In fact it got worse, blowing sheets of rain at us horizontally. We had umbrellas, which do absolutely no good. The moment we stepped outside, MB’s got turned inside out, and I got soaked from head to toe. We ducked under a bus stop till the rain finally did begin to abate, then trudged, wetly, to the subway.

When we left Chelsea Market, it had started to pour again so we did the smart thing that time and hopped a cab.

I think my sneakers may still be wet.

Sunday I was up semi-early to get a load of laundry in before heading to the ‘rents’. On my way out the building, I was greeted with a very unpleasant sight: a guy peeing in our freaking doorway. Yuck! Something I do NOT need to see EVER. He was on his cell phone and so didn’t see me till I knocked on the glass and motioned nastily at him to get out of here. At least he had the decency to look embarrassed.

The traffic was murder getting to Penn Station, and then I had to wait around for an hour cuz I just missed the train. Apparently everyone and his brother was going to NJ for Father’s Day. Luckily I was able to snag a window seat, and thank God for my iPod cuz a guy behind me was LOUD.

In NJ we did what we always do: shop! This time I felt inspired and got a black skirt and two white shirts. Well, “inspired” may be relative, but all are very cute and were on sale. For dinner we went to this mediocre Japanese place run by Chinese people. But my parents like it.

My mother didn’t annoy me too much this time. We actually talked about my job instead of just playing 20 questions about MB. He and I will be visiting together next month, sometime over Fourth of July weekend. Of course he’s totally good-natured about it.

I got back around 9:30 and was pooped. Although I was falling asleep around 11, I didn’t sleep well. I couldn’t get comfortable. Under the blanket was too warm, without it was chilly. The humidity doesn’t help.

Off to the gym.

Too bad I’m at work! But so is almost everyone.

MB is back, yay! He flew in Wednesday afternoon, and his time has been all screwy. That day he was wracked with jet lag and allergies, so he went to bed “early” (before midnight). But last night he stayed up all night writing. Crazy guy.

My new – well, semi-new – job is going well. Right now my boss wants me to concentrate on building an internal team site using SharePoint. SharePoint’s not the greatest, but it’s fun all the same. He knows I’m learning as I’m going, so understands that it will take some time for me to make my way it through it, and that if any of his requirements are too complex, I can get training or tech support.

He actually took the time to do a great mock-up in PowerPoint of how he wants the site to be. I took his mock-ups and did a navigation map to keep everything straight in my head, as well as a project plan so that neither of us would forget any details, and to come up with some sort of timeline. I had estimated early to mid July for launch, but he is being more conservative and thinking August.

Wow, it’s great to have a boss who 1) has realistic expectations, 2) knows exactly what he wants, and 2) values my skills. At my old job, I loved working on our website, but my old boss didn’t think it was very important (yet expected it to somehow magically get done) and thought I should be doing “better” things.

My web design class is helping with this. Although we’re using different programs – Dreamweaver and Photoshop – practicing with those helps get my brain rewired to understand those kinds of tools better. Also, it’s good to have basic web design knowledge, from the front and back ends.

Still, the class is pretty boring. He mostly just walks us through examples, and occasionally tasks us with actually creating things. And tonight we have our makeup class for the first one he missed – on a Friday night! But at least we’re supposed to just use most of that time to work on our final projects. He can’t make next Wednesday either, so our makeup class is on Saturday. Ah well.

So I’ve had this dry cough for about three weeks now. Back in late May I caught a little cold, and today I’m still coughing, though far less then even a couple of days ago. Normally I’d just ignore it – I always have a long drawn-out cough after I’m sick – but MB was all concerned so I went to the doctor on Wednesday.

First off, she kept me waiting for an hour. My appointment was at 11:30 but she didn’t see me till 12:30. I didn’t make a stink. At about 12 I went up to the receptionist and said I was sorry but I’d have to reschedule since I had to get back to work. That seemed to hurry things up a little. Who knows how long I’d have waited if I hadn’t said anything.

My doctor’s diagnosis? That I have asthma induced by my cold. Some people, she said, only have asthma when they get sick, and take a long time to get well. It’s true my coughs usually last a really long time after I have a cold, but I don’t have any of the other symptoms for asthma. No wheezing, no shortness of breath, no constriction in my chest. I run with my no problem, even when I’m sick.

Or it may be allergies, she said. She gave me a bunch of allergy medicine, as well as an inhaler. I really don’t want to take either. I don’t feel like I have allergies, and I don’t think I have asthma. So what I’ve been doing is taking a vitamin C every day, as well as these Chinese licorice tables which have worked in the past. I *think* my cough is better.

I hate taking medicine when I don’t have to. A couple of months ago I went to see a dermatologist about the constant breakouts on my chin. And by “constant,” I really mean once a month or so. It’s not like I have acne. And yet she wanted to give me oral antibiotics.

Antibiotics for cosmetic reasons? I declined and went for the topical stuff instead, which has been working just fine.

I don’t get these doctors wanting to shove pills down my throat every two seconds. When I go, I want to hear, “It’s not a big deal, don’t worry about it.” I’m not looking for a pill to fix everything. But maybe I’m the exception.

Yesterday I had yet another annoying conversation with my mother. She’s obsessed with the idea of MB and my buying a condo or whatever, which we’re just not interested in right now. Our rent is so cheap between the two of us, and buying a condo in Manhattan would be ridiculously expensive and would tie us down. The last thing I want to be is tied down to a job or geography.

I’ve sung this song before, but I don’t want to go back to that part of my life before my divorce, bound by familial and financial obligations. Settled down. Tied down. I don’t want to worry about a mortgage right now.

I’ve explained that we may not always want to live in New York, and every time I say it, my mother acts like it’s news.

Drives me crazy.

I miss Museum Boy.

He’s away at his conference till Wednesday. It just occurred to me that this is the first time I’ve spent time on my own in our apartment. The other times he’s gone away, I’ve had my own place, which I found comfort in and so didn’t feel lonely.

I was actually looking forward to some alone time, which I rather enjoyed Saturday night. But by Sunday afternoon, I was missing MB like crazy.

Oh, and last night I saw a spider in the bathroom.

I know.

But I think it was a common house spider. Actually I have no idea. I freaked out for a few minutes, but then decided there was nothing I could do about it so oh well.

I should have killed it though. I stood there like a dope staring at it when it suddenly darted away and disappeared into a crack.

How did I get so co-dependent? I was on my own for a few years and completely forgot what it was like to have your best friend around all the time. And now I can barely take being apart from him for more than a day.

I’m still reading Kitchen Confidential. I’m on the Tokyo chapter, which reminds me of my trip. I’d totally go back.