Why
Why bad luck?
Read my memoir to find out.
Why San Francisco?
Why not? Read my San Francisco posts to find out more.
Why not-so-secret?
When I first started blogging back in 2005, I wrote under a pen name – about the end of my marriage, my divorce, being single again and dating for the first time in over a decade.
A year later my essay, A Date with Darkness, was published in the New York Press, and to publicize myself more, I put my real name on my blog.
My readership jumped. A couple of weirdos contacted me; I had a couple of haters (a Satanist and a short guy). But I continued to write as I did before – personally and revealing, but without using real names of other people.
Then what I feared most would happen happened: my ex found my blog.
Well, duh.
It so happened that my latest post was about him, and as a result he sent me an angry email, after more than a year of no contact. It scared me enough to take down my blog completely, and to start a new one, without my real name.
When I told my boyfriend about this, he was properly enraged himself. “You should write what you want,” he said. “Don’t let anyone stop you.” Especially if what I was writing about was true.
I then realized that although I had revealed myself in this memoir, I have still been hiding. I’ve still been afraid and letting someone else influence my life.
Of course people have a right to remain anonymous, and I don’t even know if I’m making the right decision by removing my anonymity. But I do know the only reason I haven’t been using my real name is because I’ve been scared, and I no longer want fear to rule my decisions.
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