I’m loving this site.

I’ve been trying to think of how to keep the old fogies at bay on my new dating site, since I can’t block a population from contacting me, only specific members. So I’ve updated my profile with a few “requirements.” Please note this list is much harsher than it is in my actual profile, but oh so much more fun.

You’re between 33 and 40, give or take 3 years. You’re not old enough to be my dad.

You despise winks.

The words “the great outdoors” don’t appear anywhere in your ad (unless you’re referring to the John Candy movie). In fact, you hate the outdoors and would much rather prefer holing up in a movie theatre watching all three Godfathers (well maybe the first 2) in a row, or in a museum looking at some crazy exhibit.

You’re not a white guy who describes himself as Native American. So you have a drop of Navajo blood, you still look like a white guy to me.

You’re not using a picture of yourself with your ex torn out. Your arm is not obviously draped around your ex, your ex’s arm or shoulder or hand complete with wedding ring is not in the picture.

You don’t include “working out” as a hobby.

You don’t wink.

You know how to spell. You know basic grammar.

And last but perhaps most importantly:

You do not have an Asian fetish. You’ve not narrowed your search to all Asian women. You’re not a non-Asian who’s really into martial arts. You’ve not included a plethora of pictures of yourself with Asian people in Asian restaurants near signs with Asian writing. You don’t plan on writing to me in what you think is Chinese, Japanese, or Korean.

Let’s see how many people my list drives away.


  1. i love the outdoors one! i am NOT an outdoorsy person, and felt like every single other person on the site put that down as a good quality, when really it made me cringe thinking they’d want ME to go surfing/skiing/windsailing/rockclimbing. Not gonna happen.

  2. I think you’ll still get some responses trying to justify why they should contact you. Lame. =P That list is hilarious – I often want to write down my reasoning for my requirements because without them, I’m called “materialistic.”

  3. I meet your requirements :-)

  4. Thanks for the link!

    And I completely agree with you. Nothing will get in a man’s way if he wants to be with you.

    Not even his scared self.

    If I were single and looking, I’d consider it a good sign if a man put in his profile that he considered “working out” a necessary torture.

    But not a hobby.

  5. zerodoll: the outdoors thing is such a cliche, right? why not include walks along the beach too.

    wyn: materialistic schmaterialistic. you should want what you want. :)

    zydeco: i forgot one. “you’re not married.” for shame. ;)

    ms. annie d: you’re welcome for the link! and thanks for visiting. i agree that working out as a normal part of life is definitely a plus but shouldn’t rank up there as a pasttime.

  6. I definitely agree with your internet dating pet peeves – especially lame winking and spelling mistakes (I was amazed how many people misspelled the word ‘Intelligent’!). I would add to the list people that use the phrase “partner in crime”. That always nauseated me…

  7. It’s perfectly ok for you to list your requirements and be very specific about them. But I don’t think you should dismiss people who love being outdoors and love to work out as being cliche and lame. They could be perfectly honest, shy shouldn’t they list what they like? Why do you consider those two things deal breakers? The winking, I absolutely agree — I’ve never replied to a girl who just wink at me online without saying anything.

  8. mark: thanks for visiting. i see where you’re coming from, but it’s not so much people who like these things that i’m dismissing, but who waste space in their profiles pointing them out.

    i for one actually like both the outdoors and working out, but i see the profile as the chance to be creative, have a sense of humor, and quite frankly sell yourself (it’s the marketer in me talking). including cliches like liking the great outdoors shows me you’re lazy and decided not to put enough effort in your profile.

    also, my “requirements” are sort of tongue in cheek, and a way to weed out people who take themselves too seriously.

    it’s all very strategic and quite genius if i do say so myself. ;) (see there, that tongue in cheek thing again.)

  9. I love the requirements. Even if they are tongue-in-cheek. Someone once told me you have to physically list out (at least to yourself) everything you want and don’t want in a guy, it will make it that much clearer to you when you meet someone if you should continue to get to know them. Plus it will help you not settle.