So my date on Thursday was pretty fun. The guy, BH, is rather soft-spoken and has an endearing laugh. He laughed at most of my jokes, which is a plus for me. He’s a musician/software programmer, and is from Australia, and you know I’m a sucker for that kind of accent.
I was having a good time up till the end, when he became, uh, overly enthusiastic, not in a physical way but an asking way, and I politely yet clearly said it was too soon for that. Afterwards, I was rather turned off, though I guess you can’t blame a guy for trying, and I assumed he’d go the way of the history professor (ie, no nookie = no dating).
But then last night he called. Actually first he emailed me because it turned out I had written my phone number incorrectly. (That’s what two glasses of wine will do to me.) When we spoke he said, “I was sad when the number didn’t work,” and I joked that he must have thought I gave him a made up one.
And then basically he apologized for jumping the gun. He said he tends to make up his mind about things pretty quickly, but sensed that I probably wanted to move more slowly. I confirmed that, explaining that I’d gotten into situations that were too much, too fast, (ie, H.) and that just died out, and that if I could help it, I didn’t want to go through that kind of thing again. Not that I want a guaruntee that something will last forever, but at least first get to know the other person and where they’re coming from.
Now I realize with H. that he wasn’t ready for what I was ready for, a long-term relationship. I was the first person he had a connection with after his horrible breakup, and I think he was from the beginning in the mentality that this would probably not last for very long. If we had waited and talked more, that would have revealed itself, and maybe I’d have been smarter about getting involved so quickly.
My goal here is to be honest honest honest and take things slowly, and if he doesn’t like that, then he’s not the one for me. And not just honest about myself, but to be nosy and ask lots of questions. At the right time, of course, and in a mellow way, not like a psychotic journalist. That’s part of the taking things slowly.
In the past I’ve held back and have just wondered to myself, fearing I’d offend. Fuck that shit.
We’ll be having dinner on Thursday.
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I’m planning on a very mellow day today. The last couple of weekends were so busy, I’m glad for the reprieve. I was going to go to the ‘rents’, but they’re out tonight and I have plans tomorrow afternoon so it seems silly to go home for such a short time. Next weekend probably.
Try to write this morning. Shopping this afternoon? I want boots! A run around 5 or 6.