Yesterday I spent the day with my parents for Mother’s Day, and for some reason, this visit felt particularly stifling.
My mother is quite pleased with my brother and me right now. My brother just got a permament gig, and I have the new job and the boyfriend (or the boyfriend and the new job, if Mom had any say in prioritizing), but she can’t really be satisfied with that. She has to constantly get her two cents in.
I received unsolicited advice/questions/opinions on:
And that was just a few hours.
I don’t mind talking about this stuff, but hearing someone’s opinion and advice, especially when I haven’t asked for it, all day long is well, suffocating.
Seeing people get engaged, married, have babies makes me NOT want to go down the traditional path again. It’s everyone’s own choice of course, but for me, I hate feeling those social pressures, from people who think they can comment on my life.
I told several colleagues that I was moving, and of course they asked what prompted the move, so I told them I was moving in with MB. And two asked about marriage. “Do I hear wedding bells?” one said.
I think it’s nosy and inappropriate. You don’t know what someone’s beliefs or past experiences are. It’s like asking about children. IT’S NONE OF THEIR DAMNED BUSINESS.
I’m not saying, woe is me, I’m so scarred from my past, that’s why I don’t want to do this. It’s like this: I envision a road, let’s call it the Road of Tradition, and the first marker is Getting Engaged, next is Getting Married, next Buying a House, and finally Having Kids. (Of course there’s lots more after that, but that’s about as far as I can see right now.)
And all along the Road are family, friends, acquaintances, colleagues, and strangers, waving and smiling. For some that’s all they do, but others are also doling out advice and opinions, and expressing their expectations, whether or not you give a shit.
Meanwhile over at the Road Less Traveled, there is no one. There is just me and MB, and maybe some birds and shit, walking hand in hand. What’s down that road is visible only to us.