Rambly Friday

Supposedly there’ll be a big snowstorm today. It’s already started to come down a little. Although I feel like something’s wrong if it doesn’t snow during winter, I still don’t like it. It’s cold and miserable and slippery. Deceptive slush lakes that look like frozen over puddles form at the edge of curbs, and then I step in them at least once.

Today is a nothing day here at work. It’s the holiday “open house,” which means people bring in their kids to have their pictures taken with Santa, and the CEO goes to the different buildings and lets people shake his hand. In the almost-10 years I’ve been here, I’ve never done it.

I sort of miss our big extravaganza holiday parties. It would be at a nearby hotel and would last all day with free eats and drinks. You could go with people you actually liked and not see anyone else you knew the whole time. But the parties were only fun if you had a pal to go with, like when YP worked here and my friend Marilyn who was fired for being a bitter bitch, which she really was. But she was still fun.

Last night MB and I went to hear Bela Fleck and the Flecktones. Fleck plays “jazz banjo” and is backed by an incredible bass player and “Futureman,” who plays drums and a “Drumitar,” which MB and I guessed was actually a keytar with a drum machine stuck to it with lots of electric tape. They were really good.

I’m serious! And popular too since the place was packed to the gills. We were squashed at one end of a table. Luckily the people next to us, this 50ish couple, were pretty nice, but this other couple, 20ish, on our other side, were annoying. They were on a higher part of the floor and so were essentially right above us, and kept talking at top volume throughout the performance. I was farther away so I just vaguely heard them, but it got so bad MB had to ask them to be quiet. Then he said the guy was all douchebaggy and just made a “Whatever!” face and didn’t apologize.
I guessed he was a douchebag even before that. He looked a banker type and was good-looking, but in an overly groomed way, and the girl said something like, “My friend lives in some bumblefuck town in Louisiana,” and I guess he was from Louisiana? cuz suddenly he was like, “So are you saying I’m from some bumblefuck town? Are you? Are you?” The girl was like, “Well, anyway, she goes to Tulane.”

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On another note, I believe I’ve written about jealousy before and how I’m trying to get over it, and although my feelings don’t make sense and have no basis in reality, MB has been really nice about reassuring me.

Usually I don’t like Cary Tennis’ advice. He meanders and says weird things. But I really like what he has to say to this woman. She thinks her husband prefers his woman friend to her, and with good reason: he says why can’t you be more like X sometimes, and the woman often acts cold to her. Cary responds (my emphasis):

Your husband has not shown much tact or understanding. . . .Your feelings are hurt. That’s not a right thing or a wrong thing; it’s not like you should be smarter so your feelings wouldn’t be hurt. . . .They get hurt no matter how smart you are. So husbands should respond to that. Maybe he thinks if he responds to that by reassuring you or being kinder to you or showing you that you are the most important person in his life that he is vindicating your hurt feelings. Well, so what? . . . .In any relationship, feelings are going to get hurt. . . .It’s silly to stand back and be cold and accusing when we could just as easily be warm and loving. We sometimes feel if we are warm and loving that we are giving in somehow. So I would say to the husband, give in already. Your wife is going to have certain feelings that don’t make sense to you. That doesn’t mean her feelings aren’t important. She’s hurt by your very friendly feelings toward this woman. It makes her feel insecure. So reassure her. Let her know that she is the most important person in your life.

I love Cary! Well, for now I do, at least regarding this particular question.

The snow is coming down down down. Let’s see if it sticks.

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