I’ve been meaning to do this for a while, and now that I’ve pretty much settled into a San Francisco routine – aside from the ridiculous rain storm on Tuesday that destroyed my umbrella in ten minutes, and realizing I’ve been spending too much time at Macy’s (“I recognize you,” the much eye-make-up’d saleslady told me, “You’re one of our regulars”) – I thought I’d finally write about some of the crazy keyword searches that have led people to my blog.
mary karr david foster wallace – This refers to my review of Mary Karr’s newest memoir, Lit, in which she mentions a torrid affair with a troubled young man named “David,” who is indeed the late, great author of A Supposedly Fun Thing I’ll Never Do Again, Consider the Lobster, and the arguably unreadable Infinite Jest. With his suicide last year, it’s especially to sad to read about his struggles with depression and drug abuse when he was younger.
quickie weddings in tokyo – Quick, I need to get this cute Japanese girl to marry me before she realizes I’m a white American idiot!
harajuku doll makeup – There’s a video tutorial in case you still need a Halloween costume idea.
best katsudon in harajuku – Mmmm, katsudon.
rain in tokyo bad luck – Is this a thing? I don’t think so since I can’t find any info on it.
buy old stuff from other people can bring bad luck – Bad luck. . .or cooties.
husband neng gan – The Chinese term neng gan means “capable and clever.” I’m picturing some newlywed: “My husband is so neng gan! I wonder if there’s a meet up for other girls with neng gan husbands!”
true story of sad chinese girl homeless made into movie called diary of – Diary of what? The suspense is kiling me!
best apple fritter san francisco bob’s – Damn straight!
dentist “sweet air” – Apparently I’m not the only who loves getting sweet air, or laughing gas, at the the dentist.
“worn out” keds – What was this person was looking for? How to repair their worn out Keds? Who else out there has worn out Keds? I need a support group for my worn out Keds!
my korean mother in law – Something one definitely needs a support group for.
mom and daughter bring tiffany floor lamp to antiques roadshow – Apparently an important episode for someone.
how do i clean up bacon grease – Ah, my chance to be helpful rather than snarky! To clean up bacon grease, don’t try to wipe it up with a cleaner like Fantastick. You’ll only succeed in spreading the greasiness. Instead sprinkle Comet, which will soak it up, then wipe up the Comet-soaked grease. Or else use dish washing liquid, which worked for me.
mosquitoes “manhattan – Another chance to be helpful. You know about my mosquito problem in New York and how I’ve done tons of research on how to remedy it. I’ve tried OFF!, citronella oil, and leaving bay leaves and basil by my bed. The only thing that worked for me was the combination of dousing myself with citronella oil and having two fans blow on me, one on each side, since, according to this site, mosquitoes don’t like “strong wind currents.” I had the fans blow on my face since that’s the part that’s not covered by the blanket and where I hate bites the most.
pantyhose face – Speaking of faces. . . This seems to be some sort a fetish (and refers to a way I tried to keep skeeters away from my face, just so you know). Reminds me of a guy on Flickr who favorited a picture of me in a surgical mask, adding to his collection of mostly Asian women in a variety of masks. ::Shudder::
Someone once favorited a photo of me biting Ron’s nose. They had a collection several pages deep of nothing but nose-biting. All sorts of couples (boyfriend/girlfriends, moms with their kids, etc.) Good God, the amount of time and dedication that must have gone into that…
On a separate note, someone should write something about Internet safety for Asian women. It’s a creepy world out there! Remember that dude who once wrote me a letter where it was clear he’d gotten our two blogs mixed up and was actually trying to hit on you instead?
oh yeah! that was so weird. for a split second, the name of my blog was “single asian female,” which i quickly learned was a giant mistake.
hmm, nose-biting as a fetish. i can’t imagine what other fetishes are out there. and now that i’ve said “fetish” a billion times, i wonder what sort of new hits i’ll get. ;)