What’s junk?

So I have a new piece over at The Frisky called “I Found Out My Engagement Ring Was Junk.”

Those of you who read my blog regularly know that I found out the ring I thought was worth at least $10,000 was actually only worth $2,500.

I’m not at all saying that $2,500 rings are junk.  If it comes from the heart, it’s invaluable, regardless of the price tag.  But I felt duped and betrayed because my ex and his family implied that the ring had a much heftier price tag, monetarily and otherwise.  While I didn’t put stock in how much things cost, they did.  So to find out that my ring was worth a quarter of what they implied made me feel they valued me even less than I thought.

I can see how people would think I’m equating a two thousand dollar ring with junk and how I might come off as shallow and materialistic.  In that household it almost couldn’t be helped.  My in-laws showed approval by the gifts they gave, and I wanted their approval badly.  So when my brother-in-law’s fiancee – who didn’t do as much to help with my MIL but got a pass because she was Korean like them – got a bigger diamond ring from my MIL’s collection, I was really really hurt.

It wasn’t that I wanted a bigger ring.  It was that I wanted me and my future SIL to be equal in my in-laws’ eyes, and clearly we weren’t.

I wish I could have just let that kind of stuff roll off my back, but I was so unhappy and felt so unappreciated, seeing that giant rock on my future SIL’s hand was just salt in the wound.

So no, I don’t think your $2,500, $50, or $500 rings are junk.  And I don’t think your $10,000, $25,000, or $100,000 rings are all that either.  I’ve no opinion about anyone else’s rings beyond “pretty!”  But I’ve lots of opinions about mine.

Huh, this reminds me of when I say, “I hate my freckles” and other people with freckles get insulted.  It’s like, Dude, I don’t hate your freckles!  I couldn’t give two shits about the dots on your face.  I’m talking about mine.

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