So there was Jenny An’s article about how she won’t date Asian men (or so she says) because she’s racist. As I said earlier, while I didn’t think An’s article was genius and I found her follow-up “Just kidding!” extremely lame, I didn’t really have a problem with the piece. At least she’s aware of her issues. Now there’s a new article at xoJane entitled “I am an Asian Woman and I Think Asian Boyfriends Are Superior (Well, Mine Is Anyway).”
Here we go again.
This new piece seems to have little self-awareness and is full of contradictions. For instance, in her second paragraph, the author writes:
According to the 2010 U.S. Bureau of Labor Statistics, Asian men make the most money –- making $901 in median weekly earnings. Hard-working, humble, unwavering loyal to the family? Sounds like a recipe for success. Why the hell would you say no to that?
Then in the VERY NEXT PARAGRAPH, she says:
I was sick of the conservative attitudes that seemingly plagued my predominantly Asian community in southern California. Everyone seemed to be set on being a doctor, lawyer, engineer, or getting placed in some prestigious business school. Seriously, my parents literally cried when they learned I gave up a scholarship for pharmacy school to pursue journalism as a career.
So an upside to Asian men is that they make more money, but the author hates the “conservative attitudes” that pressure Asians into becoming doctors, lawyers, engineers, etc., ie. money-makers? She goes on:
I was hesitant to date someone of my own race — and not to mention that Asian men in my community seemed boring and had a tendency to be socially awkward.
But then I dated one — and have never looked back. He’s the epitome of an Asian man stereotype and proud: pre-med, good at math, Ivy League hopeful, obedient towards parents, grade-centric and not much of a partier.
At first I didn’t want to Asian guys because of one stereotype, not I want to date them because of another stereotype! And again, while the author hates feeling pressure HERSELF to become a pharmacist or whatever, it’s super-awesome that her boyfriend wants to be a doctor and fits all the stereotypes she herself hates??? While she rebels against her parents, she wants a boyfriend who’s “obedient toward parents”? Huh, what?
Next the author breaks down the reasons why dating an Asian guy is awesome:
- he’s good at math
- he’s a hard worker
- he’ll be rich
- he’s loyal (“divorce still carries a huge stigma in the Asian culture”)
- “He’s not an arrogant douchebag”
- “He bombards me with gifts and food”
- “He keeps me fit.”
Okay. These are not bad things. They sound like great things. But then she substantiates each with the claim that these are inherently Asian qualities.
I’ve known plenty arrogant douchebags who were Asian. I’ve known people who are not Asian who were, guess what, good at math, hard-working, loyal, and fit.
And what’s with the focus on material stuff? Again, it seems the author wants to be able to rebel and be a low-paying journalist AND have boyfriend who is a rich professional who will give her lots of prezzies? And how is divorce still having a huge stigma in Asian culture a good thing? To me, it meant an extra year of a miserable marriage.
This article pissed me off a million times more than the An article (which actually didn’t piss me off at all), and it’s not because I think Asian guys are the worst or something. I’m a race doesn’t matter kind of gal. But to equate these positive qualities with being Asian, and to not even be aware that the qualities the author despises for herself are the VERY ONES SHE THINKS ARE AWESOME IN A BOYFRIEND is what drives me up the fucking wall.