An Open Letter to UPS

I admit: the first mistake was mine.

Like an idiot, I left off the street address. A week later I finally checked the status of my package and saw it was Oakland. What the fuck?!

I saw that I could Change Delivery Options online and I tried. God knows I tried. Learn More, the pop-up window said. I clicked Learn More. Sign Up, the next window said. I signed up. I clicked Change Delivery Options again. Learn More! the pop-up window said. For God’s sake, I learned more already. Fine: Sign Up! For Christ’s sake I signed up already.

Already a member? Yes! Track a package? Sigh, yes sure. Change Delivery Options. Click – AGAIN. Learn More! Are you fucking kidding me? Sign Up! Track Your Package! Change Delivery Options! Learn More! Sign Up!

I am not exaggerating. An infinite loop of fucked-up-ness.

Finally, I called. Got a real person. She said that it was in Oakland and being held in Oakland, but that the sender would have to change the address. I called Zappos (for I would only go to so much trouble for new shoes). The very kind woman at Zappos said now the package was being held in South San Francisco. South San Francisco is not the same as Oakland. She also could not Change Delivery Options. She gave up much more quickly than I did and called UPS. I gave her the correct address. She gave UPS the correct address. The next day TWO UPS people called me to confirm this address. I said it to them; they said yes that was it.

The package did not go to that address.

By the end of today, I still hadn’t received said package. I checked the status: left at front door. What?! I called. It had gone to some other address, an address (at least in the same town) that perhaps another Angela Tung lived at because surely in the Bay Area there is just one Angela Tung.

Luckily for me these kind people, having received my package for the second time, held it for me, and now I have it.

No thanks to you, UPS.

And you know what? I don’t even like the fucking shoes.

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