My 10 biggest fears

Lacking content again. Imagination Prompt Generator to the rescue!

Herebe my 10 biggest fears:

Speaking in public on something I only somewhat understand. This is why I hate presenting at sales meetings for work. It’s almost always on someone else’s project or research. If it’s stuff I work on regularly, no biggie. Though after my big presentation last month, I feel a little less fearful about it.

I’ve given a couple of literary readings with no problem. That’s just reading. And I can talk about myself about the wazoo. But if I feel unconfident about the subject matter, I’m on the verge of panic attack.

That I’ll never become the successful writer I want to be. I don’t think this will happen. I keep plugging along and once in a while I have a small success, and I know my big break is right around the corner (even if that corner is years away).

But once in a while I imagine myself at 70, having written a lot but not being published the way I’ve imagined, and I get this horrible pit in my stomach.

There’s no use in wallowing over that image. All I can do is keep writing and sending stuff out.

Birds. Wings. Beaks. Claws. ‘Nuff sid.

People in animal or cartoon character costumes. This is a recent fear. When I was a kid, I could care less, but nowadays encountering a life-sized Elmo or Mickey Mouse gives me the heebie jeebies.

Not having any plans. I’m a planner, people! Must have plans.

Driving. Although I grew up in the ‘burbs, I really hate to drive (though I do have my license). I developed the phobia as a teenager, by making the mistake of trying to learn from my parents (read: lots of yelling and pretend brake slamming), and furthered the phobia as an adult by trying to learn stick from my short-tempered ex.

Luckily I live in one of the best walking cities on earth.

That I’ll spend my whole life waiting for the life I want to start. This is connected with my writing. I envision myself totally entrenched in that world of writing and books. So I need to do something about it, right? And I think I am, going to events and things. Writing, taking classes, getting my name out there.

That I’ll have the uncontrollable urge to throw myself off a tall building or in front of a barreling subway train, or to scream in a super quiet place. Not suicidal, totally illogical.

The Exorcist, yet when it’s on, I always watch it.

Running into an ex on the street. Not that I ever run into anyone I know. Still, I always panic when I see anyone who remotely resembles any of the guys I’ve been with. For instance, last weekend I thought I saw H. in Central Park. My reaction? I turned tail and ran. Well, maybe not ran. Walked very fast. Maybe I don’t want a reconciliation after all.


  1. # 2, 5, 7, 8, 9 & 10.

    i totally agree. i am/have the same, with one exception: i refuse to watch the exorcist. it scared me when i was 7 and i haven’t watched it to this day. if a horror movie can be remotely real/possible, i shun it. i have way too active an imagination as it is….

  2. jay bee: i was also way too young the first time i saw the exorcist (maybe 9). it freaked me so bad, i had insomnia for months.

    and yet now it’s like some supernatural force that makes me watch it. that, and any scary movie, despite the fact that later i’ll regret it.

  3. With you on 1, 6, 7, 9 & 10. I can’t drive, the other cars on the street completely freak me out, so no I don’t have a license. As for the exorcist I saw it for the first time my sophmore year of college (after 20/20 did some expose on exorcisms being real) I didn’t sleep for 3 nights. I run away from scary movies now. 10 is only a fear if I am looking scuzzy, I am sure if I was rocking the hot I wouldn’t be afraid of running into an ex.

  4. That was interesting. I may steal your idea. (by may I mean I will)

  5. TOTALLY with you on #8. i get that feeling when i’m high up, like on a railing on the 10th floor of a building

    not suicidal, totally just illogical