I mean, I usually feel pretty good, but it *is* Monday, which normally calls for the blahs.
Could be because my new boss has started, and I finally have some real work to do. Being bored really does take a toll on morale, even for lazy someones like me. Also, I’m all done with school assignments, and I have just one more class, this Thursday, which will be discussing a bunch of readings. Finally, I’ve had a good couple of conversations with my mom recently.
She seems to be holding back her worries, namely her vision of MB’s and my “future” – ie, getting married and buying properpty, contrary to *our* vision of not getting married (but still having kids, scandalous!) and traveling the world – and is enjoying the idea of my being happy for a change, or again her vision of my being happy which equals being with someone who treats me well. I was perfectly fine on my own, but my parents will never believe that.
My mother and I are so alike with our worrying. Sometimes now I wake up and think, Shouldn’t I be worrying about something? Before my worries mostly had to do with my job. How awful it was! The demanding, incomprehensible boss with career expectations for me that I didn’t want! The forced socializing with sales people! The high-pressure presentations! I’d wake up at 3 in the morning and apply online to random, low-paying jobs, that’s how bad it was. I thought about quitting and being jobless. I thought I’d like to do something completely non-stress, like being a crossing guard.
This weekend I had the chance to work on my manuscript. Rereading it is always like reliving the past, though not in a harmful way. They’re far enough away that I have some distance, and reliving them sometimes reveals more memories, more layers to add. I remember visiting my cousin in Portland shortly after she came from China, and how she and her husband were so lovey dovey, to the point I wanted to shout, “Get a room!” They didn’t make out in public, but they’d do things like blow each other kisses, write “I owe you one kiss”on a post-it and put it up, tell each other that they loved each other in front of everyone.
Yeah, actually, it was kind of gross.
But at the time, it also made me feel lonely. I was married and I knew my husband loved me, but we were never like that. We never got so carried away we forgot about the rest of the world. He was always very concerned about what others thought. But at the time, I didn’t let myself think that it made me lonely, watching my cousin and her husband. I just made snide remarks.
I’m also glad I never had a kid with my ex. One, I’d still be connected to him, and two, there was so much pressure from his family. “I want my grandsons to go to Eton,” my ex-FIL said one time. There are so many things wrong with that statement, I don’t even know where to begin.
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Now the boring update! :) Friday night was lazy for me. MB suggested going to a late movie, but I was so tired, we just watched a bunch of stuff on Hulu.com, and I went to sleep before midnight.
Saturday I worked on my writing a little before we headed out to run some errands. It was freezing that day, and really hard to motivate myself to get outside. But I did, and that night we ate at this soba noodle place for the first time, Soba Koh, on East 5th Street. It was so good and perfect for that wintry night. We both had the early bird special for $19: a daikon salad, egg custard with crab (and other weird things), and hot or cold soba with a variety of tempura. We both got hot.
It didn’t look like a lot of food but it was pretty filling. The tempura was really good. I’m used to it with a ton of batter, but these were perfect. Also included is ice cream, vanilla or green tea.
Later we saw a midnight showing of Poltergeist at IFC. It was fun, not scary, since I’ve seen the movie so many times. As a kid it scared the shit out of me, especially that clown doll. Also, Jo Beth Williams and Craig T. Nelson are really good in it! If they weren’t so good, the movie would have been over the top and cheesy.
Sunday I was able to get more writing done, despite getting up at 11. We didn’t do much except grab a late lunch at 3. We went to one of our usual places, Zucco: Le French Diner, where I had for the first time, something du dimanche. Ack, I can’t remember the name! Anyway, as the name implies it’s served only on Sundays: a potato cake filled with goat cheese and topped with a poached egg, served with ratatouille and lamb sausage.
I totally just made myself hungry.
Some of my other favorite dishes are the pain perdu, or French toast; the pate sandwich, which is served with cornichon, these delicious little pickles; and the risotto des legumes. The coffee is really good too.
I need to eat lunch soon.