Distracted by a few things this week

Packing.  This weekend I’m flying out to SF to visit MB, and have been obsessed with what I can bring.  I have five space saver bags worth of clothes, some his, some mine.  Since I’ll be checking my luggage, I’m bringing a whole bunch of beauty products (mostly mine), as well as a bunch of cords and guitar gear that he left behind. Plus my laptop, PLUS his ukelele.  Comes down to one largish suitcase, one duffel bag, one shoulder bag, and his uke case.  I think I’ll be okay.  Plus I’ll be able to leave almost everything and have a light trip back on Sunday.

I’ve also started attacking the stuff we’ll be moving to my parents’ house.  The ‘rents got on my nerves over the weekend about our storing furniture and whatnot there – they weren’t giving me a hard time, but were bickering with each other about asking their painters (they have had the house repainted this week) to move furniture without tipping them.  My mom’s theory is that the’re moving stuff anyway, and my dad’s is at least give them a little something for doing something extra. 

Then my mother got all up in my grill about what we were keeping and not keeping.  For example, the small fridge MB got.  I was just going to leave it behind, but my mother wanted me to move it, which meant upping the movers’ estimate, as well as cleaning out, unpluffing, and defrosting the fridge, yet another thing on my long list of things to do.  She did finally let up, but it made me not want to deal with them at all and just move our stuff cross country.

Then MB talked some sense into me: when he was moving cross country a few years ago, the estimates he got were in the $3,000 range, too much for me.  Plus we’d have to store our stuff for three months, not a lot of money, but then pay movers again in December when our sublet’s up.

“Plus we’ll probably come back to New York,” he said.  “It’d be nice to have all this stuff when we come back.”

Okay.  Researching cross country movers would have been yet another thing to do anyway.

Giving my notice.  Which I did, officially, yesterday.  Remote working, even temporarily, is a no go, so my last day is on the 25th.  I keep thinking that’s a month away, but it’s only two weeks!  Okay, breathe.

I’m past my fear of not having a job, and not too worried about the projects I need to finish up around here.  I’ll do my best, and if I can’t finish them in time, then someone else will do it.  Oh well.

I’ve realized nothing is forcing me to keep this job.  MB is working, we don’t have a mortgage, we don’t have kids right now, and I have some moola saved up.  Now’s actually the perfect time to take some time off and write.

Another thing I realized is that nothing around here is a matter of life or death, and yet people get so worked up.  My current department isn’t so bad, but my old one, marketing, was always getting in a tizzy over artificial deadlines and deliverables (ack, that word).  Why are we working all hours?  Cuz the boss said so.  I ran into an old co-worker yesterday, who told me about another colleague who is apparently incredibly mean to her assistant.  Yelling, hostile emails.  I mean, why?  What could warrant such behavior?  An unexpected meeting?  Jeez, lady, get your priorities straight.

Although this job is about a million times better than my previous one, I still worry sometimes.  Far less than when I was in marketing, but it’s still there.  I realize – a third thing – that I’ve been worried off and on for the past seven or eight years, ever since I moved up from admin. Worried about dealing with unreasonable people, about projects that I’ve put off, about having to present, about having to speak in a meeting, about living up to – or not living up to – whatever expectations my boss and co-workers had.  It will be a relief to not have to worry about work, at least for a little while.

Right now I feel like work keeps interrupting my life.  What do you mean I can’t work out because I have a meeting?  But I need to go to the post office and send more Amazon items.  Don’t you see I’m trying to write a blog post here?

Other people’s success.  This week I found out two people from my past have had publishing successes, one book and one article in a well-known magazine.  I’m really happy for the first person, who is really nice, but I’m blah about the second (okay: it’s someone I dated).  I shouldn’t be jealous but I am!  Although the book is in a subject that I’d never write about, and it’s not like I’ve been trying to get published, I still feel a pang.  I’m trying to take this jealous energy and turn it into something positive – to take a clue from the Secret (shut up) and envision a successful writing career, and work like hell to get myself there.

It’ll take a personality adjustment.  While I can get obsessed over projects, I give up sort of easily.  With fiction the whole trying to get published process is much slower.  You send out your letters or emails, and you wait.  With nonfiction you have to move fast fast, especially when writing about timely subjects.  You need to network more and get yourself out there.  Who knows: maybe it’s the same with fiction, but I just didn’t know it.


  1. So close to your move date!! I’m with MB don’t move the stuff cross-country unless it’s really nice stuff and would cost considerably more to replace. When I moved to Boston in 2006, I found the cheapest – also shadiest – company and it cost me about $2200 to move an 800 sq ft condo. On my way back last year it cost me close to $6k – luckily the company was paying for it – so I also hired a well-known company and bought the insurance which ended up being a good thing. And researching those costs is annoying, no one will really give you a firm quote – even if they come and see how much you have they estimate and then raise it when they get to your destination. Although one thing to keep in mind is most of them give you a free month of storage (that and it usually takes them 2 weeks to get it from one coast to the other).
    But I’m so glad you are on your way!!!!

  2. Hey Angela! I can’t believe you’ll be moving to SF! That’s so great for you and MB! Please give him my best when you get there. Moving sux! I still haven’t unpacked completely from our move to this house and we’ve been here a year now! And leaving the job–crazy, I remember when you got hired. Having the time now to concentrate on your love of writing is such a gift…enjoy!

  3. We’re moving again in a few weeks–did I mention that? Yes, we’re CRAZY. That’s 4 moves in 5 years!!!! My advice is throw out all the small stuff and sell all the big stuff. It’s so painful to realize the time wasted packing up junk and hiring people a ton of $$ to move that crap. The furniture is easy to deal with, it’s the little stuff that drives you nuts.

  4. sitcomgirl: good to get reassurance that a cross-country would be very pricey.

    SG: i will definitely tell MB you say hi! there’s no way to get around the stress of moving i guess. and i know: i still sort of can’t believe i’m leaving my company. it’s been more than 10 years.

    plue: i think you did tell me you all were moving again. your advice about just getting rid of the small stuff is great – i was starting to feel overwhelmed looking at all the random things around our apt. i wish i had the energy to sell our furniture. i did it with my stuff last year, and it feels too soon to deal with idiots on craiglist once again. :P

  5. Great to read about your new adventures in SF. Drop me a line if you ever want to try and meet up. It would be great after all the years of reading each other’s blogs. :)