External validation

I realize I need it.  I wish I didn’t, but I do.

I had pitched a couple of ideas to magazine, but hadn’t heard anything.  All week I had a vaguely blah feeling, which I attributed to not knowing what I wanted to write about next.  But in the back of my mind, I knew I was feeling rejected.

It’s something I have to get used to, and in a way, I am.  I feel the sting for a few moments, then move on.

Of course it’s easier to move on once you get an acceptance of a new idea.  Yay!

At least it’s incentive to keep thinking of new ideas, to keep trying.  MB had suggested when I follow up to follow up with a new idea or two as well.  So smart!

Yesterday I worked hard on my latest post for the Nervous Breakdown, which is about the 100th episode of Ghost Hunters.  I know I won’t get too many comments – it’s a long essay about a niche topic – but still I want them!  I want lots of comments!  I freely admit it.

In other news, I looked at my NaNoWriMo book from 2006 for the first time.  Some parts aren’t bad, but I’m not sure what to do with it.  Right now I just want to read it, and see if it’s salvageable at all.  *Maybe* I’ll post it to my writing site, and see what you guys think.

The book isn’t about me, at least not overtly, but is about the brutal murder of an older couple, set in the midwest.  The couple’s son, who to everyone seems “off,” is the main suspect, and is basically coerced into confessing.  The novel deals with unraveling the mystery of if he really did it or not, and if not, who the real killer, or killers, might be.

I got the idea when I heard some story on NPR about coerced confessions and implanted memories.  Some poor guy got coerced into confessing to the murder of his parents, and even started to “remember” details because he’d heard them so many times from the police officers.

MB and I spent the weekend working on our projects and hanging out in Union Square.  People watching was fun. One guy kept taking off and putting on his shoes and socks. Some Asian chick fell as she tried to go down the steps in her four-inch stilettos (idiot) so that the people who were photographing her (why, I don’t know – was she a model? paying for headshots?) had to run off and buy her a pair of flats because she couldn’t walk in her heels anymore.

This couple had the most adorable miniature terrier named Stella. How do I know the dog’s name? Because they kept calling it as they tried to photograph the dog. Of course Stella was more interested in stalking pigeons.

There was the cutest little Asian girl in sparkly pink jacket and sparkling pink ballet flats. I would have KILLED for shoes like that at her age!

The highlight though was this group of Kim Kardashian-lookalikes who took pictures with these random gay guys like the guys were just another tourist sight. Look, kids, it’s two gay guys again!

So not motivated to go the gym today. Will probably do an easy workout.

1 comment

  1. Completely understand the external validation part. I recall a comment by a blogger (now since departed) that comments are our currency.

    No matter your internal confidence, you need to hear the well done from time to time.