First off, here are my November publications in case you missed them:
- Forget Sisters, It’s My Brother Who Keeps Me Sane, The Frisky, November 26, 2010
- Luck of the Chinese, View From the Pier, November 21, 2010
I found these fish drawings on Post Street not far from my apartment. I thought they might be inspiration for the cover of my memoir.
See the whole set.
An interesting tidbit I just discovered is that black goldfish are not considered unlucky in terms of feng shui. A lone black goldfish is often included amid some goldfish in order to absorb negative energy and to act as a protector against bad luck.
So I started to think maybe it’s just Koreans who think that black fish and other animals are bad luck, and not that the internet is the end all, be all of all information, but I couldn’t find a thing. You’d think that if it were true, it’d at least be mentioned somewhere.
So did my ex-MIL make the whole thing up? Did she think, Well, a black cat is bad luck so a black fish must be too? Or was it just a lame excuse to blame all bad stuff on me?
As I rewrite/revise my memoir (yet again), I’ve realized that marriage with my ex was so hard because his expectations changed after we married. Before we got hitched, it was okay that I didn’t cook much, that I didn’t like to drive, that I was “only” a secretary who wanted to be a writer, that I might never make much money. We said “I do” and suddenly I was expected to change: to cook, to drive, to make more money, to give up my writing if need be.
The cooking was the most minor of points, but his attitude about it was annoying. As though I was somehow supposed to know, without him telling me, that this was what I should have been doing. It’s not like with MB, who just happens to like certain things I make, who will ask me nicely to make him a bowl of tricked out instant noodles or oatmeal. That makes me want to cook for him. And he doesn’t take my not cooking as some kind of secret insult.
I realize that too: my ex saw significance in everything, from superstitious bad/good luck symbols, to everything I said and did. He never took my words and actions at face value, but would think I had some ulterior motive against him.