I work in San Mateo, which is lovely little town about half an hour south of San Francisco.  The funny thing about San Mateo is that while it’s small, there are a surprising number of Asian eateries.  Supposedly one of the best ramen places in the Bay Area is here (I’ve yet to try it), there’s decent Thai, and I frequently get lunch from the Japanese market on 4th Avenue.  But sometimes I want just some soup and salad, and that’s when Draeger’s Market comes in.

Draeger’s is kinda fancy.  Think slightly more upscale Whole Foods.  The food is decent (though a little expensive) and the cashiers are always super nice.  Once I bought something I thought was on sale.  It wasn’t.  The cashier guy could have easily just said, “Nope, sorry,” but he went to the trouble of checking where I got it from.  The sale sign was still up – although the end date had passed – and he let me have the discount.

But while the customer service at Draeger’s is impeccable, the customers themselves are fucking assholes.

Yes, I’m talking about you, white people of San Mateo, you – at least those of you who frequent Draeger’s – are FUCKING ASSHOLES.

(And I do mean WHITE PEOPLE.  I go to the Japanese market far more often than Draeger’s, and I’ve NEVER encountered rudeness there.  Maybe a little pushiness, but that’s very Asian, and I will take direct pushiness over a passive-aggressive sense of entitlement any day.)

Cases in point:

Two old ladies in SUVs almost ran me over. Both times I was NOT jaywalking and had the light.  One lady was making a left turn in the parking lot and didn’t even check the walkway.  One lady was pulling out of the parking lot, and although she saw me (and again I HAD THE LIGHT), she just had to make me stop so that she could go.

“You’re excused.” So it’s always a great idea when you’re big and fat to stand right into the middle of an aisle so that no one can pass by.  It’s also excellent to ignore someone like me when I’m clearly trying to get by.  It’s even better to say obnoxiously, “You’re excused!” after I say, “Excuse me.”

“I’m sorry I look younger than you.” Probably the biggest fucking assholes at Draeger’s are the 30-to-40-something year old women – overdone, over-make-up’d, trying-to-recapture-their-youth-with-too-tight-jeans-and-high-heeled-boots.  I don’t know if they’re big assholes in general, or big assholes just to me, but whenever I go to the salad bar, and they’re there, they either 1) elbow their way in front of me, or 2) give me dirty looks when I go around them, as though I’m cutting them in line, although because you can around the salad bar in a circle, there is no line.

Why?  Is it because I’m Asian?  An Asian woman who will surely (and easily) steal your rich white husband?  Or is it because we’re probably around the same age but I look five to seven years younger with NO make-up or plastic surgery?

Today really took the cake.  I wanted to get beef barley soup.  BFD.  One of these overdone women was checking out the beef barley soup, decided she didn’t like it, then just stayed there in front of the beef barley soup pot.  She saw me waiting.  In fact she gave me several dirty looks.

“Are you getting the beef barley?” I asked.

“I’m waiting for the tomato basil,” she said.

The tomato basil was right next to the barley beef and occupied, but GUESS WHAT JERKFACE, there was room right on the other side of the guy getting his soup.  But no for some reason you want to stand on THIS SIDE in front of the very soup I want, so now I have to wait because YOU’RE waiting, oh queen of all the Draeger’s soups.

“Can I squeeze in to get the beef barley?” I asked.

Big fucking sigh.  “Well, I guess so, if you give me some room to move.”

Are you kidding me?  “Look, why don’t you just relax?” I said.

Of course she had no answer.

Because along with being passive-aggressive assholes, these San Mateo fucktards are also giant pussies.  When you call them out on their dickish behavior, they never have any response.

And it’s not just San Mateo.  It’s SF-proper too, but San Mateo is much much worse.

Man, I miss a good ole New York “Get the fuck outta my way.”


  1. You sound like a lady who needs to add the term “fucktard” to her roster. Trust me…that word changed my cursing life forever! Good times.

  2. I’ve been to that Draegers! And you are totally right, it makes me want to punch people in the head.
    I love that the NY’r in you is still alive and well.

  3. Sadly, if you were in Vancouver, the reason would indeed be that you are asian.
    People here seem to have this warped view that all asian women are idiotic, ignorant, impolite and can’t speak english. It’s this strange latent kind of racism that I find so infuriating in such a multicultural and accepting city.

    • really! i had no idea.

      i’m not surprised there’s such a culture clash. in east Asian countries, at least as far as i know, there’s not as much of a sense of personal space, and it’s no big deal to sort of idly push your way past someone (aggressively shoulder-checking people of course is still a no-no, as i discovered in Beijing), while Westerners – including me – are big on personal space and get very insulted if someone bumps into them and doesn’t apologize.

      New Yorkers aren’t innocent either. once on a very crowded subway, i inched my way in next to this woman, causing her to move a little. she got all huffy: “You could say excuse me!” i just said, “It’s obviously very crowded!” who was she, the queen of England?