Ugly is as Ugly Does

So that’s that for the history professor. Why? I’ll tell you:

1) He hasn’t contacted me at all since our date on Friday. Now before you say, “Why don’t you call him?” let me move onto the second reason.

2) I don’t think I could have gotten past his, um, face. Yes, his unattractive face. His unattractive, ugly, ugly face. I was being generous when I thought there might be a possibility, that I’d give him a chance. But I actually woke up Saturday morning thinking, Could I get used to that mug?

There was that study recently which showed that throughout history women have found men with Neanderthal-like features to be more attractive. Think small face and large brow, like Brad Pitt, Johnny Depp, and Orlando Bloom.

The history prof did not look Cro-Magnon. He kind of looked like a primordial dwarf. Do you know what a primordial dwarf looks like? Tiny head, beady close-set eyes, beak of a nose (which on another face might be appealing), tiny mouth, weak chin.

After our second date, I saw a show on primordial dwarves and I couldn’t stop thinking they looked like him. :( On top of that, he had a double chin and a mouthful of crooked teeth.

Not that the other guys I’ve dated have been models, but at least they were – cute! Pleasant looking. C. had lovely brown eyes. DK’s were bright blue, and he had excellent bone structure. H.’s were a beautiful green, and he had that small face action going. Good-sized brow, strong nose and chin.

But I was willing to get to know the history professor. Love conquers all, right?

3) Not so much. Friday night’s date consisted of his inviting me over to this apartment he was housesitting, which made me feel a bit odd. Earlier we talked about going to a movie, and then he was inviting me over and offering to cook dinner, which is very nice, but maybe a bit early.

Still, I decided to give him the benefit of the doubt, and said how about dinner before and the movie afterwards, to put a timetable on the “in the apartment” action, if there was to be any, which I wanted to keep at a minimum since it was only our second date.

We did kiss, which was fine. I mean, despite being aesthetically-challenged, he was actually a good kisser.

After the movie I was nervous about how I’d make my getaway. There was no way I was going back to his place. I said, in what I thought was a casual tone, “What street are we on? Oh I can catch my bus here!” He even waited with me.

So why no contact afterwards? My conclusion is that he realized that I am not that kind of girl, or at least trying not to be (okay for other people, not good for my self-esteem), and that perhaps we want different things (him: a roll in the hay, me: casual, slow dating). Or that he wasn’t as into me as he thought he was. Here I was thinking I was being all generous, while maybe it was his interest in me that fizzled.

Nah. I’m awesome.

It’s actually a relief that he hasn’t contacted me again. I kept imagining five or six dates from now, and the possibility of having to dump him.

If I have a choice, why not go with cute?


  1. well, you should at least be attracted in some way to the person you’re dating. and while, yes, attraction can grow, there’s still gotta be something!!!

  2. Yeah, if he’s not cute and there’s no potential for thinking he may become cute (and crooked teeth def. ruin that) then you shouldn’t try and force yourself to be attracted to him. PLUS, waaaaaaay too soon to be doing the come over let me cook you dinner thing. No way, that’s code for “come over let me woo you into bed” and at someone else’s apartment? Sketch.
    There are way more cute and not sketch boys out there.

  3. zerodoll: you’re so right. i shouldn’t have to force myself.

    sitcomgirl: i’m so glad you confirmed that! my gut was telling me it was weird and that was what he was up to, but then i started to doubt myself.

  4. teeth are important. cute (at least what it means to you), is tantamount.

    cooking dinner on date 2 is early, unless one of you leaves for helsinki for the next three years tomorrow. then, even a roll in the hay might have been appropriate. lol

    it’s good that he/you cut your losses now. he might not feel any heat, and for you, that’s totally cool…