Contact from the planet Robotron

This is why I don’t friend people on Facebook with whom I haven’t been in touch for a long time.

If someone contacts me, I am always super friendly, responding to their messages in turn. But this is the response I got from an old college friend to whom I had written, “Hey, it’s been so long! What have you been up to?” (Bracketed phrases are mine.)

I’m in [Some State], because I just married someone who works here. I left [Overseas Country] in 2003, as an internal transfer at [Boring Company] to their head office. I decided to leave [My Field] in 2006 and moved back to the states for a job at a [Finance-y Sumpin] in [Another City], where my husband [Robot-Guy] and I met. I’m looking for a job right now and not expecting to find anything in this economy. I’m applying to [Some Training Program], so I’ll have something intellectually stimulating to do and not drive my husband crazy by ranting about [Something Finance-y] all the time. ( I used to be a [Finance-y Sumpin] in [Another City].) [Robot-Guy’s] parents are taking us on a cruise next June, and we board the ship from [Yet Another City], so I’m going to try to see [Another Robot Girl from College Who Never Even Replied to My Facebook Message], who lives there now. [Robot-Guy] and I leave for [Hometown] on Saturday.

Yes I know, there’s nothing wrong with the message itself, but c’mon, can I buy a greeting? A “Hey! It’s great to hear from you!”? ONE question, or even just a “Hope all is well”? It reads like a form letter, the form letter she sends out whenever someone from the past contacts her.

I almost wish she didn’t even write a message and just friended me back. Because that’s what it’s all about you know, how many “friends” you have on Facebook.


  1. Sorry, I posted from my work gmail account… here’s my comment again:

    Gee, you think she’d have come up with a better form letter! Like this one, for example:

    Hi [name of FB friend]!

    It’s great to hear from you! Things are going well on my end. I live in [town] with my [pet/significant other/spouse/family member/roommate/etc.] and am working at [company].

    [Insert one short sentence about dreams, goals, aspirations, interest, hobbies, etc.]

    How are things on your end? It looks like you [nugget of information gleaned from cursory glance at profile]. How do you like that?


    I swear, that’s how most of my FB messages to old friends/classmate end up sounding…

  2. haha. i know, right? at least she could give me the illusion that she gives a rat’s ass.

  3. I think that people feel like they have to sum up what’s happened over the years on first re-contact. It’s a bit strange.

  4. facebook me now! hahahah. Good to see you again on the blogosphere!

    Ooh, and if you get that book published, I am buying a copy and making it my book of the month club selection!

  5. I’m over the Facebook thing. Mostly cause it seems all the people I wasn’t friends with in law school are friending me. Why? Cause it’s all about the numbers.