10
May 10

Babbly little update

It was nice to take a small break from writing this weekend, after last week’s busy schedule.  I did work on stuff, but in a leisurely way.

I’ve decided to continue with my corporate mystery.  I can’t remember if I wrote about this, but I was going to throw in the towel since I was so bored writing it.  I had an idea for another novel, but I was just as bored starting that.  At least with the corporate mystery, the characters are more developed in my head, and I know where the story is going.

We saw Iron Man 2 over the weekend.  I was expecting it to be lame, but we both enjoyed it.  I had read something about “too many villains,” but I didn’t think there were, especially compared to that one Batman.

I finished the fifth Harry Potter and now am reading Love in the Time of Cholera.  I like it, but I really love the Harry Potter books.  Just two more in the series!

This weekend I started my “diet,” which for me means “not eating like a pig” as well as making sure I eat enough so I don’t binge later.  For instance, at Nick’s Crispy Tacos, I usually just get one fish taco (fried: baby steps), which doesn’t quite fill me up and then I end up eating a meal at 4, as well as dinner at 8.  So this time I added the tortilla soup, which was AMAZING by the way.  That satisfied me but I didn’t feel stuffed and gross.

I have to remember to incorporate soup whenever I can.  One, I love it.  Two, clear soups are pretty healthy I think, usually full of veggies and lean meat.  Three, like I said, they’re filling but don’t make you feel gross.

Last night we had fish dinners at Grub Stake, and I refrained from eating my potatoes.  Just my salmon and veggies.  MB got an apple crumble dessert and I had just a bite to taste it.  Later I had part of Luna Bar for my “dessert.”

Today I need to work out!

In other news, I finally got an interview!  I haven’t had any luck so for this particular position, I decided to have fun and be honest.  My application email wasn’t so much an application as an essay incorporating what they asked for.  Not a dense essay but sort of ranty and conversational, the way I write some stuff for The Nervous Breakdown.  The interview’s on Wednesday.


16
Feb 10

TCOB + Valentine’s Day + CNY

Now that I’ve handed in the essays for the contests I wanted to enter, I have lots of paperwork to take care of.

First off, my writer’s contract.  There’s so much to fill out!  But it gives me assurance that I’ll most likely get paid and that I’m one of their official “vendors.”

The guy who did my taxes suggested I start collecting my writing expenses so I could write them off next year.  I’ll have to go back and see if I had anything from this year.  Then I may start keep a spreadsheet.  (Yay, spreadsheets!)

Also, I got a NY jury duty summons.  I had gotten one back in August but postponed it till February.  I was worried that I’d have to actually fly back to New York, but I called the place and they said I just had to send them evidence that I do indeed live in SF now.  I wrote an anal little cover letter and need to make copies of stuff to send.

I also need to hit the gym and go to yoga.

* * *

Had a nice weekend.  My brother was in town so we got to see him a couple of times.  Otherwise I worked like crazy on my essays and MB played his new guitar all day long.

On Sunday, we were supposed to get dumplings, but didn’t feel like schlepping out to Richmond.  It was such a beautiful day, we decided to walk to Fisherman’s Wharf instead.  It was pretty crowded, but tolerable.

We wanted to eat at that seafood restaurant we tried when we first moved here, but they had an hour and 45 minute wait.  At first we thought forget it, but then decided to put our names down.  We took a leisurely walk out to the water, down this long pier.  The sun was setting, which was beautiful.

“Do you want to take a picture?” MB asked me.

I shook my head.  I find that with sunsets, my photos never live up to the real thing. I prefer to just enjoy it in the moment.

We returned to the restaurant a little early, but our table was already available.  It was such a lovely unplanned Valentine’s Day.  I noticed other couples around the restaurant, all dressed up and formal.  You knew they had been planning this evening for a while (like the young dressed up couple in front of In ‘N Out Burger: “I gave my girl a rose and took her to In ‘N Out!”).

To me, the most highly anticipated events never live up to expectations.  Weddings, anniversaries, and Valentine’s Day.  Why wait till a specific day to celebrate?  Why not just act like that every day?

Anyway, we both got the prix fixe dinner: soup or salad, a fish entree, and dessert.  At $30 it was a little overpriced, but the food was good and the service excellent.  I got the salmon poached in olive oil with rosemary and garlic.

salmon

Now I’m hungry.

Yesterday MB had to work so I was on my own.  YP and I had our long-distance photo expedition – the theme: good luck symbols of Chinese New Year – so I hoofed it to Chinatown and took some pics.  I ran into lion dancers and their noisy firecrackers, “bai nian-ing” at businesses.

lion dancer on grant street

Here’s the whole CNY set.

All righty, off to the gym!


18
Jan 10

Why apply for a marketing job when I hate marketing?

In the past month or so, I’ve been toying with the idea of getting a job.  Don’t get me wrong: I’m definitely not bored.  I love my routine of writing in the morning, working out, and writing in some cafe for the rest of the afternoon.  I get home between five and six, just like a regular job, and practice piano till MB comes home.

But I do miss having a paycheck and some social interaction, even with coworkers I hate.

I applied for a position recently, as a marketing content writer for a local university, and was surprised to get a call last week.

I used to work in marketing, except it wasn’t really marketing.  I don’t even know how to describe it.  Basically I worked on educational programs for organizational health care customers.  I did some content and strategy, but mostly implementation.  I also managed our internal website.

I liked those aspects of my job, but various bosses didn’t think it was enough.  They thought I should do “more,” ie, strategic platform bullshit.  I wasn’t interested, hence my library science degree.

So why did I bother applying for a job in marketing?  Because of the writing side of it.  If all I had to do was write marketing copy, that’d be fine.

But no.  It seemed they wanted someone who was really into marketing, not who answered when asked why I decided to pursue my library science degree, “Well, I knew that marketing really wasn’t for me. . .except the writing part of it of course.”

That’s the incredibly annoying thing about marketing.  It’s not enough to be a hard worker and to have skills and experience – you have to drink the marketing Kool-Aid, shave your head and chant marketing mantras at the airport, aspire to marketing Operating Thetan Level 8.

The girl said she’d call by 5 PM on Friday if I got an in-person interview.  Five PM on Friday came and went.  No call.  In fact, maybe no one got a call because I saw the same position posted on Craig’s List at 5:01.  Well, maybe not 5:01 exactly, but you get the picture.

It was really a blessing in disguise.  When she asked what I ultimately wanted to do, I said, “Write.  Write anything,” which I thought would fit with a marketing content writer position, but I guess not.  Still, that made me realize, I want to write!  Write anything!  Well, duh.  Any of you could have told me that.

That realization solidified my desire to freelance.  Right now I’m doing little things here and there, but I want to be a full-fledged FREELANCE WRITER, which means I need to bust my ass to get jobs.

Over the weekend, I applied for a couple of positions on Craig’s List, one as a beauty journalist on skincare, the other writing about local events, restaurants, etc.  We’ll see what happens.

Also, I need to be more active in terms of submitting.  Sure, I’m doing my itty bitty articles for eHow.com, and my essays for The Nervous Breakdown, but there are other online magazines and tons of contests.

I’m used to writing short 2,000 or less word essays, but the contests call for 5,000 to 8,000, or around 25 double-spaced pages.  I haven’t written an essay that long in a while.  The contests will give me the opportunity to do so, which may the germ for my next memoir.  I just have to figure out what I want to write about.


11
Jan 10

All moved in!

This weekend MB and I had the easiest move ever.

In case you’re behind on the trivia that is my life, when we moved to San Francisco, we opted for a furnished studio.  It was cheaper and we wouldn’t have to go to the trouble of getting furniture.  Our lease was up at the end of December.  Quickly we found a place we loved right down the street, but unfortunately didn’t get it.

Luckily however, our landlady had a furnished one bedroom available, which turned out to be bigger than the original place we wanted.  Sure, the rent is slightly more, but we don’t have to buy furniture, aside from a bed that we had already ordered.

MB had actually never seen the place but trusted my opinion.  I had told him about the big walk-in closet I thought would be perfect for his “studio.”  On Saturday our bed was being delivered so he went down to tell the girl cleaning the apartment.  The first closet he saw was the one in the hallway, which while bigger than ours, is still small.  He actually thought, Is that my studio?  Then he found the walk-in closet and was very very pleased.

Oh ye of little faith.

Sunday morning we woke up and I swear it was like Christmas.  “Let’s go!” MB said excitedly, grabbed his guitar and some other gear, and hurried downstairs.

Our new place is just one floor down from our old one, so “moving” was throwing stuff in suitcases, bags, and boxes, and taking a few trips up and down.  We were done within a couple of hours.

If only all moves were so easy.

Our new place is almost three times the size of our old one.  There’s so much space, I don’t even know what to do with it.  I put some clothes I don’t wear often in the walk-in, leaving the rest for MB.  So the hall closet is half-empty.  There’s even room in the foyer for a small shoe rack.  And there’s a perfect space in the living room for our keyboard.  We just need a piano bench now.

The only drawbacks are a small kitchen, which you can’t really get away from in the city; we face the street so will have some traffic noise (but the bedroom is towards the back and closing the sliding doors helps); and something’s up with the cable, but that may be a blessing in disguise.

But no matter how much I love this place, I still need to get my ass out and to the gym.


04
Jan 10

Amusements

I’ve been working on a few small projects for this blog and the writing one.

Clips

Now that I’m publishing a bit more, I’ve organized my pieces by category.  You can find all my Nervous Breakdown posts under Personal essays (as well as older works). My published and/or recognized fiction and children’s books are included too.

I love organizing shit!

Eats

I’ve tried so many different restaurants here in San Francisco, I thought it’d be fun and useful to create a page summarizing them all.  It’s a bit obsessive, but that’s how I roll.

I thought it might be good for anyone visiting the area, though where I’ve eaten is very particular to location (ie, near my abode).  Of course I still need to try Ti Couz for crepes and The Pork Store for breakfast or whatever.

I plan on updating the page regularly.  You can find it to the right under Amusements.

Movies & Books

Under Amusements, you’ll also find What I’ve Been Watching, which is just a list of films I’ve seen (I also like keeping track of stuff), once in a while with a review.  What I’m Reading Now is a list of books.  It began as a way to make sure I was reading at least one book a month, and now it’s just another obsessive thing.

Speaking of books, I’ve barely made a dent in the BBC 100 Books list.  It took me three months to read the Lord of the Rings triology, which is listed as just one item on the list.  They’re great stories but for some reason I took a long time to slog through them.

Now I’ve given myself a break and am reading Little Women, which I’m sure I’ll be done with soon.  After that, I dunno: Midnight’s Children?  The Godfather?  The Stand?  So many choices.


06
Dec 09

Apartment search

Our four-month lease is up at the end of December, thank goodness.  While renting a furnished sublet was a great way to find a place quickly and to not have to deal with buying furniture and other household items, we’ll be really glad to be moving to a place where:

1) we’re not forced to show our apartment in place of another, sometimes without warning, and then are told ours “doesn’t show well” with the bed out, and we should really move all our boxes from the bed storage area down to the basement, although we’ll be moving very soon

2) a surly cleaning girl won’t kick me out of my own home to take two hours to Swiffer the floors and Fantastick the bathroom

3) our bedroom, living room, and office won’t all be in one room.

We went to three open houses yesterday, and looked at six apartments.  As always, we loved the first place we looked at.  (The second was in the same building, cheaper but smaller.)  Just two blocks away, the building used to be a residence for single working women (not THOSE kind of working women, like MB thought).  The lobby is very pretty with ornate fixtures and stained glass windows.

The apartment itself is a real one bedroom with a billion closets.  I can’t remember how many, at least three, maybe four.  There are definitely two giant ones in the bedroom.  Right now we have one small one, as we did in New York.  Some NYC apartments don’t have closets at all.

The living room has bay windows, and everything is pristine.  Very clean and brand new.  The only downsides are that there’s no laundry in the building, though there are plenty in the area, and the kitchen is kind of small.  But we both agreed: the moment we walked in, we thought, Wow!  Plus the building managers seem really nice.

While we applied for that place, just to be sure we looked at a few more.  The next open house was nearby.  That was a no-brainer: the kitchen was part of the living room.  No thanks!  The next three places were in a building a little further out, in Pacific Heights near Fillmore Street.  While the apartments were quite big for around the same price, everything looked very dingy and old.  I asked if the walls and fixtures were being redone.  Nope.  I’d rather live in a smaller place that’s pristine than in a yucky somewhat bigger place.

Yucky how?  The hardwood floors were scuffed up and stained in some places, the tiling in the bathroom looked used, and the fixtures in the kitchens looked like that cheap fake wood stuff that doesn’t handle water or stains well.

We’re keeping our fingers crossed about the first place, though if they don’t accept us, I don’t know what place will.  Also, it’s available December 15 so we could overlap a couple of weeks and take our time moving our stuff in.  That would really be ideal.


03
Dec 09

Literary blogging + random update

I’ve written before about The Nervous Breakdown, a great literary blog which I first heard about from one of my former writing teachers. Well, now I’m one of their authors! Read my first post, in honor of my grandmother.

In other news, I’ve had two lazy and two productive days this week.  Monday wasn’t too bad.  I finished NaNoWriMo, did some laundry, and started the “Puo-puo” essay.  Tuesday I didn’t get out of my pajamas till three in the afternoon.  Before that I did do another load of laundry and more writing, but I still felt amazingly lazy.  I only left to go to the gym.  Then I watched too much TV.

I have to remember that television is the bane of my existence.  I should only watch worthwhile things, and if nothing worthwhile is on, read if I’m too tired to write.

Wednesday I wrote in the morning, then left at noon to eat lunch at Honey Honey and do a couple of hours of work there.  Afterwards I did some “research” at Sephora for my next mini-article, which is on cleansing milks.  Lemme tell ya: $30 wasted.  Cleansing milks are only good if you have dry skin, not combination skin like me.  I tried it this morning, and by the afternoon, my face felt like an oil slick.

After my research, I hit the gym.  Trying to go more regularly now to jian fei, as the Chinese say, literally “cut the fat.”

Today I was awake at 7:30.  For some reason, MB was up at 7.  It was good: got some writing done, then hit the gym at 10.  I was meeting my SF pal at two at Bittersweet (on Fillmore Street) so I knew I needed to get a workout in early.  Hanging out was fun as usual.  I didn’t spill a cup of water on my computer this time, if only because I didn’t bring my computer.

Tonight, aside from rerun of The Office, I haven’t watched much TV, though now I’m tempted.


06
Oct 09

Officially in San Francisco

After a month of weekend visits, I’m finally here!  I keep forgetting that I’m here permanently now and don’t have to fly back to New York in a couple of days.

The move last week went smoothly, aside from the bacon grease incident.  The day before I dropped off the last of our donations at Housing Works and packed up most of the rest of our stuff.  That night I had dinner with YP, who was kind enough to let me into his workplace and give me another much needed box.

The next afternoon, the movers arrived on time.  There were just two guys, since I didn’t have much to move, even less so when I ended up leaving behind more furniture than I had planned (one bookcase, a kitchen rack, the kitchen table and chairs).  Steve was willing to take anything and I was tired of dealing with my parents’ bickering and stress over what I was bringing home.

The movers were done in about an hour.  They took off in their truck while I hopped the NJ Transit.  They offered me a ride, but I declined, thinking they might hit a lot of traffic and also not wanting to make small talk for two hours (so I’m antisocial).

My train was really slow and they got a little lost, so we arrived within minutes of each other.  From there it was smooth sailing.  My parents good-naturedly ordered them around, and the movers good-naturedly followed their orders.  They also helped my parents move their old TV to the basement, freeing up space in the study.  Again, done in about an hour.  All moved in by dinner time.

As I expected, my parents were excited about using our little things – MB’s old speakers, my laundry drying rack, this random stool.  My dad also really likes MB’s desk.  I’m thinking I should have given him MB’s huge computer monitor instead of leaving it behind, but I was picturing an argument.  Mom: “This one’s better, you should use it.” Dad: “I don’t need it, the one I have is fine.”  Mom: “Why, just use this one.”  Dad: “No, I like the one I have.”  Back and forth, and in increasing volume.  Then again, my dad might have decided to use it anyway if it showed up without warning.  Ah, parents.

The rest of my time there was uneventful.  Thursday morning I slept till 10, exhausted from the move.  AY was home sick from work but feeling better by noon, so we grabbed lunch and coffee afterwards.  It was fun catching up.

After I got home, I had a nice run on the road behind my parents’ house (about 3.5 miles).  It was easy since I hadn’t run in about a week and the weather was so cool.  But I was very sore the next day.

That may have partially been because I didn’t fall asleep till about 3 AM.  That damn coffee!  I got up around 9 and felt the whole day that I was coming down with something.  But I think I was just tired because the next day I felt fine.

I spent Saturday with YP.  I was flying out of JFK early Sunday morning so it’d be easier to stay in the city the night before.  Plus it was nice to spend some time with a pal before my move.

We had lunch at Cafe Habana, and walked all around afterwards, that is when we weren’t avoiding the tremendous and sudden rain.  Umbrella-less, we dashed from awning to awning till finally taking refuge in a bookstore.  About an hour later, the rain slowed and we were able to walk back to his place, where we spent a good while drying out and watching TV.

A little while later, the skies cleared up more so we headed back out.  We didn’t do a photo theme this time, just snapped when we felt like it.  I had been wanting to get out to the water, so we walked out to Christopher Pier.  It was lovely.

Then it was back to YP’s for some absinthe, my first time.  It was surprisingly tasty – like licorice – but I’m not sure it did anything.  I did feel bit of a weird buzz but it’s hard to say.  Drinks were followed by dinner at Room Service, then Naked Comedy at the PIT. No better way to end my stint in New York.

The line-up was really good for a change, and there were a ton of comics so we didn’t have to hear the host make the same jokes again and watch him do yoga – AGAIN.  (Yeah, a chubby naked guy doing yoga, not my thing.)  A few of the guys had some nice tushies.  Oh yeah, and they were funny too (the guys, not their tushies).

I got a few mosquito while we were walking around so all night I was paranoid.  YP hasn’t had any buggers for weeks but with my luck, they’d reappear the night I stayed over.  Plus I was anxious about having to get up early.

But again I was anxious for nothing.  I got up in time, caught up a cab quickly, and got to the airport lickety split.  I was so tired I actually slept a bit on the plane, and then was bored pretty much the whole time.  (So tired of flying.)

Then I was home!  Yay!

Since I was so pooped, MB and I took it easy.  Had lunch, then walked out to Valencia Street.  Finally saw what everyone calls the hip Mission district.  Our assessment: enh.  Yes, there seem to be lots of yummy Mexican places, but otherwise, we’re pretty satisfied with our own area.

We saw a matinee of Zombieland, which was lots of fun, then had an early night in.  MB picked up dinner from Shalimar.  I was unconscious by 11.

This morning I’ve been unpacking and reorganizing.  Also waiting on a load of laundry (in the building! how novel).  This afternoon I plan on hitting the Container Store, Bed, Bath, & Beyond, and Whole Foods, and possibly go for a run.  And of course I need to squeeze in some writing (though I guess I’m writing right now).


27
Sep 09

Beginning of a life of leisure. . .and boredom?

Friday was my first day without work.  It was partially enjoyable, and partially worrisome.

It began great.  I got up around eight, had a leisurely breakfast, checked email and blogs, and packed a little before heading uptown to drop off donations at Housing Works.  You couldn’t have asked for better weather.  Sunny and cool.  In fact I needed a jacket.  The bus ride was quick and relaxing compared to crawling through massive traffic during the week (the U.N. was in session, and the President was in town), and then ridding myself of three heavy bags of clothes.  Yay!

Next I picked up copies of my patient records from my doc, and then a bagel with lox cream cheese from Pick-A-Bagel and an overpriced mocha from Le Pain Quotidien.  I mosied on over to Central Park and had my lunch by the Conservatory Water.  Central Park is definitely something I will miss about New York, especially in autumn.

I had planned on going straight home and packing some more, but then I decided I’d visit the Met one last time.  I made sure to check out the new American Wing, a light-filled open space with lots of sculptures and statues, as well as the Vermeer exhibit, which was just okay.  There were not that many paintings and it was very crowded.  Plus I had seen all of that and more at the Rijksmuseum in Amsterdam years ago.

I also visited a couple of old favorites: the Asian hall with all the Buddhas, and the Greek and Roman hall, what I like to call The Hall of Perseus’ Rock Hard Booty.  I tried to be discreet as I stared at that statue from behind (pun intended).

I got home around 3, and after chilling out a bit, that’s when it started: the boredom.  I should have known.  That listless feeling always starts for me then.  At work it’s not bad because I’m surrounded by people, and I can easily go for a quick workout.  But on my own, if I don’t remedy it immediately, it gets bad.

I started to think, Is this how it’s going to be in San Francisco?  Energized in the morning, and then blah and lonely in the afternoon, EVERY afternoon, not just on Sundays after a weekend with no plans?  Was this going to be good for my writing, or detrimental?  I remembered, as though it had been weeks since I stopped working, instead of of less than 24 hours, the relief of a peaceful Friday night after a busy week.  Some philosopher said pleasure is merely absence from pain – with no pain, would I know pleasure again?  Or would the days just blur into each other?

By 5:30 I decided enough is enough, and got out of the house.  I didn’t really have any errands to run so I just took a long walk out to Chelsea Market.  (I actually wanted to go for a run, but in my packing frenzy, I brought all my workout clothes to SF.)   That did the trick.  It helped clear my mind and get my confidence back about my writing as I imagined a routine of writing in the morning, then leaving the house by lunchtime and writing in a cafe or something for a couple of hours before going for a run or heading to the gym.  I envisioned taking some classes at the gym as well as a writing class, to have some social interaction.

I realized I was putting all this pressure on myself to GET OUT THERE immediately, meaning network and socialize in ways I haven’t really done before, like going to writing events and schmoozing, and that doing something I’ve done before, like simply taking a writing class, was a cop out.

But why?  My time off should be fun, as well as productive.  It’s as though now that I don’t have the pressure of work (and school), I’m creating this pressure.  I’m making up something to worry about.

~ ~ ~

Anyway, my weekend in SF has been lovely as usual.  My flight was good, aside from my rowmate who was a complete asshole.  Since I switched flights at the last minute, I had a window seat instead of an aisle, so I had to unfortunately climb over my row mate for my many trips to the bathroom.  The second time I had to wake him up because his legs were positioned in a way that there was no way I could climb over him.  After I woke him up, he just stared at me and held out his hands, like what am I supposed to do?

“Can you move your legs a little?” I asked.

He stared at me some more.  “I was sleeping,” he said.

Was he really not going to move?  “Well, I still need to get out.”

Finally, he was so generous to shift so I could get out.

When I came back, I very politely said, “Would you like the window seat so I don’t disturb you again?”  Read: take the goddamned window seat since you’re just going to sleep the whole time and I’m the one who needs to pee every hour.  He refused it.  Fine, then you’ll have to deal with me.

I actually tried to hold my pee longer than I normally would have, then finally just couldn’t anymore and climbed over him without saying excuse me.

What a fucking dick.

The guy was Indian or middle eastern, and I could picture his mother fawning over him while he was growing up, telling him he was a prince among men, and then his wife doing the same.

Aside from that, I’ve been having fun.  Yesterday MB and I walked all over.  It was hot!  Well into the 80s and very sunny, though in the shade and at night it was much cooler.  After dinner we had a quiet night in since I was so tired.  I slept like a rock.

Today blogging, unpacking, and running some errands.  I’m glad I don’t leave till tomorrow.


24
Sep 09

The Office

As I said earlier, this is my last day in the office.

Although I’m past the scare of not having a job (at least for the next few months), it’s only now hitting me that I’ll be leaving a place that I’ve been going to, almost every day, for the past 10 years.

Switching jobs within the company wasn’t that big of a deal, and a very welcome change. Getting a new boss every year was also run of the mill, and getting new co-workers barely made me blink an eye. But leaving the company for good, not for vacation, not for extended leave, but most likely forever is giving me the willies.

Imagine, every day, going to the same place, knowing, if not exactly was going to happen, that at least you had a desk, a chair, a computer, and a phone to call your own. “I live on the 15th floor” is something people around here say by mistake often, and while it’s a sad testament to how many hours some put in, it also speaks a truth: work is like a second home. You’re there five days a week, more or less, eight hours a day, more or less. You only spend more time sleeping (or maybe not).

My workplace has been my refuge. Where can I write when I want out of my apartment and am sick of cafes? Where can I stow all the CDs and books I don’t have room for at my apartment? Where will I print hundreds of pages of manuscripts and filch office supplies? Not only is this my workplace, it’s my work out place, my gym for the past decade. My eatery, my bank, my post office. I barely have to leave the building all day (whether that’s good or bad is another story).

It was from my desk as an admin that I planned my wedding, surfing the internet for dresses, venues, and honeymoon spots. It’s where I printed off labels and stuffed envelopes, and argued with the photographer on the phone. It’s where my nice bosses let me work on my writing if the day was slow, and where I dealt with a million temps, some pretty slow themselves.

It was where I received the shipment of my first (and only) published book, where I got the mysterious email from Ron and Judy, then later from my cousin Huang Lei that surprise! she was in America and married to Ron and Judy’s son Shane. It was where I tried to get in touch with my ex during 9/11, only to have his phone ring and ring and ring, and where, a year later, the city went black, a piece of cake compared to a terrorist attack.

The best was when I got a cube with high walls, though that didn’t stop people from barging in. It was in this cube that I dealt with my ex’s adultery, sitting at my desk and almost crying all day, every day. It was from this cube that I called my ex’s mistress and found out she hadn’t had the abortion he had asked of her.

Then finally, an office, where YP, sliding the door closed, came to bitch about our monster boss. Then another office where I, and all my coworkers, shut the door against another nightmare boss, and finally this office, monster printer and all.

Not having this second place anymore will be strange. In San Francisco, I’ll have my apartment, possibly the gym, and what, a café? the library? Both fine till you have to go to the bathroom, and then what, drag all your crap with you or ask some random person to watch your $2000 laptop? I can see why freelancers rent office space.

But I know that this place has been a crutch as well as a comfort, an excuse not to pursue my writing, not to socialize more. Being without an office will force me into new situations, though what those might be, I’m not quite sure. But I’m starting to think that’s okay.