relationships

Face to face

Remember that ex-friend I wrote about? The one I had been close to since college, whom I traveled with to Amsterdam and Paris? The one who was my bridesmaid and who was there for me through all the stuff with my ex? The one who in the fall of 2005, after more than a decade of friendship, seemingly for no reason at all, just stopped talking to me?

I finally saw her.

Not on purpose, not planned. She lives in the city, as far as I know, or at least still works here. She had an apartment in Murray Hill, and whenever I was in that area, I thought I might run into her.

Well, I didn’t run into here there but two blocks from my apartment. In a restaurant MB and I go to all the time.

We were sitting there next to this large party. The waitress came to get our order, and at the same time, another member of that party arrived, an Asian woman. A guy, who appeared to be her boyfriend, got up so that she could sit, promptly getting in the way of our waitress. We gave our orders, and then I casually glanced over. . .and saw that the Asian woman was SL.

Ex-friend. Dumper. The disappearing act. Right next to us!

My heart started pounding like crazy. What do I do? Did she see me? Do I say something? MB said something to me, I don’t even know what. Oh my paper. How was my paper going? What was my paper about again? I could barely remember.

Finally, I mouthed to him, “I know that girl. She dumped me.” Then I leaned across the table and whispered the details to him. He glanced at her and chuckled at me for freaking out.

It’s not funny!

For the rest of the evening, I couldn’t concentrate on anything. I could barely even eat. I kept glancing at her, wondering if she had seen me. I wasn’t sure. At one point, I think she was covering her face with her left hand, the hand facing me, and saw a ring on her third finger. A while ago I had found an online wedding gift registry associated with her name, and for some reason thought it might be a different SL. But thinking of that, and seeing the ring, and the general appearance of the dude next to her (of course I had Googled his name too and found his Facebook profile – I need a different hobby), I put two and two together.

Then I began to think, Why not mess with her? When MB went to the bathroom, I kept staring in her direction, sort of willing her to look my way. She wouldn’t. She wouldn’t even look up from her food to talk to the people next to her.

It’s hard to say if she was avoiding my gaze. She could get kind of antisocial.

I never said anything to her, and she never said anything to me. MB and I left before they did.

I was weirded out for the rest of the night, and promptly texted ES. (“Girls,” MB said, shaking his head.) ES was appreciatively as freaked out as I was. After all she knew SL too, from the wedding and Amsterdam and visits in Boston.

I went back online and tried to find more info. Nothing new really. A while ago I had found SL’s name in a newsletter for, of all things, a Quaker soceity. I thought, SL’s a Quaker now? and dismissed it. Well, I found her name again in another newsletter, along with her presumed husband’s.

This was weird to me, not so much because of the Quaker-ness, but since SL wasn’t religious AT ALL. She grew up in a traditional Chinese household and was never Christian, though I know not all Quakers identify with being Christian.

Anyway, my head was spinning, and like I do to get a handle on things, I made a list. In the last 3 years, SL had:

Gotten her MBA (found that online) when that fall she wasn’t even in a program yet
Gotten married. That fall she didn’t have a boyfriend, nor was she even dating.
Became a Quaker. Like I said, when I knew her she wasn’t even religious.

To me those seem like such huge changes in a short amount of time though I guess I’ve been on a similar trajectory having started a graduate program and met someone and moved in with him. No religious conversion though.

Hopefully now I’ve gotten my obsession out of my system. I have a vague idea of what SL is up to now, and I know what running into her is like. Maybe now I can move on from this silliness.

family / work — 1 Comment
26
Mar 09

Back at my desk finally!

These past two days were our leadership team meeting, which consists of the team leaders giving updates on their teams’ activities and projects, as well as some guest speakers to talk about other parts of the company.

It was very long and sometimes boring but also sometimes interesting. This department is much less bullshitty than my old department. I think there’s an inverse correlation between the amount of bullshit in a department and the amount of money it makes – i.e., the less money it makes, the more bullshit it spouts.

Sales folks are pretty bullshitty too, but in a different way. It’s that overly chummy talk talk talk. In my department, procurement, it’s all about saving money and buying stuff like boxes and renting furniture, and so the bullshit factor is pretty low. Finally, marketing, which spends money like water with no measurable ROI, is the grande dame of bullshit. Marketers love to hear themselves talk, and will argue for the sake of arguing, whether or not it helps the situation. If they’re not in meetings, they feel like they’re not working. My old boss would drag out a meeting to 40 minutes even if the issue was resolved in 10.

Anyway, since my current boss, the department leader’s sort of director of operations, arranged the meeting, I spent a lot of time helping him by working the A/V and passing the mike around when questions came up, like Phil Donahue. I actually like that meeting planning kind of work so I didn’t mind. Also it got my blood flowing – sitting for so long is tough.

So now I don’t feel like doing anything! I do have a couple of tasks to complete, but no big deal.

This weekend at my parents’ was fine. They had a lot of questions for MB about their entertainment center, and he was very patient helping them out, despite the fact that he had actual work to do. At a point, I finally said, “Okay, work time!” and my mom got the idea, but my dad didn’t. Or he didn’t hear. Either way he kept asking questions, even after my mom and I were both like, “Enough! He has to work now!”

My mom will be going with me to West Side Story. Turns out my dad wasn’t interested. Should be fun.

Class tonight, blah. But before class a professor from June’s e-publishing class in London will be speaking so I’ll check that out. This weekend, photo shoot with YP, then class on Sunday. I can’t believe it’s almost April, which means my birthday is approaching and I’ll be another year closer to the big 4-0.

Oy.

family / library / tcob / travel — 4 Comments
20
Mar 09

Money in, money out

This spring break I haven’t gotten much homework done, but I’ve TCOB on a few things.

A bit of spring cleaning. I needed to pull out my tax stuff, which was in my hard-to-reach box o’ files, so I rearranged things a bit in the apartment. Also dusted, filed away papers that had been sitting around forever, got rid of copies of manuscripts which I don’t need anymore. Still need to shred though.

MB and I also finally cashed in on all this change that’s been building up for a year. 200 smackers! It was all his since I spend my change regularly. Guys seem to always dump coinage until there is a giant pile. Guess that’s the advantage of having a purse.

Taxes. Filed them on Wednesday. I was nervous, but it turns out I’m getting an unexpectedly hefty return. I should be in school every year!

London trip. I reserved my room a while back, and this week bought the plane tickets. When I checked prices a few weeks ago, they were $900 round-trip – now they’re about $720. I guess they could go down even more, but almost-$200 seems pretty good to me. My room, which is a single in a dorm with a twin bed and not much else, is about $50 a night, including breakfast. Not too bad.

Post-graduation splurge. Also known as an excuse to spend too much on tickets to the Broadway revival of West Side Story. I know it’s cheesy – pirouetting street gangs, the whole Romeo and Juliet thing – but it’s one of my favorite musicals. The dancing gives me goose bumps, and I cry like an idiot at all the same parts.

I got two tickets though I’m not sure who will go with me. MB is not into musicals so I was thinking of taking my dad, who really enjoyed Chicago. It would be like a belated Father’s Day gift.

Getting in a ‘rents visit. MB and I are going down tonight, back tomorrow night. My parents are going to be gone for most of next month on a trip to China. Then at the end of May/beginning of June, they’re off to L.A. to help with my grandmother and of course see my bro. And they just recently got back from San Francisco! What jet setters they are.

family / food / travel / weekends — 2 Comments
09
Mar 09

Maybe my dad should start a food blog

My parents were in Berkeley last week dealing with my grandmother’s house. My grandmother hasn’t lived there for some time, but there’s still all this stuff to get rid of before they sell it.

My dad just sent me this email, summing up their trip:

We just got back from Berkeley last Thursday night. From Feb 26 to March 5, half of the time at Berkeley was raining. However, I took the advantage of the other half, usually sunny, walking to UC campus, places I, as well as both of Mom and I lived – all of them are still there. I even went to SF once and bought some cheap CDs.

I like how he needs to qualify that they were cheap CDs. My parents love a sale!

Aunt Dana and Uncle Jack came last Saturday and took us to Oakland for lunch and we also went to Oakland once on our own and having an inexpensive good lunch. Some friends from Concord also visit us last Monday and having a good lunch at Berkeley downtown and their Beijging duck was very, surprisingly, good. We also had a good lunch at Berkeley’s well known Taiwanese food restaurant on University Ave. The last day there we had pizza from the so called bay area’s best pizza place, Giola (or something like that) near Grandma’s house off Sacramento Ave.

Guess I know where I got my penchant for detailing good eats. He goes on,

Besides all these eating, of course we finished the main purpose for being there, to pack and clean all the stuff in the house and stored them in the basement and garage.

In the evening there is no TV and Mom usually watch Korean TV dramas – we brought with us a DVD player and some DVDs and I always went to bed at my usual Eastern time.

Gee, Dad, you should start a blog!

In other news, MB and I finally saw Coraline this weekend. We really liked it, and the people weren’t too annoying. On Sunday I had my Collection Developement midterm, and it was cake. Afterwards we each met with the professor. He was pleased with my library profile, except that the selection strategies need to be more specific, as well as the test.

Thursday my People Centered Methods and Design class went well too. I was dreading it because I had to talk about my project, and also because the class can get really pretentious. Actually it’s just one guy who constantly name drops “big” philosophers and philosophies, and says things like, “I’m dead inside,” and “I don’t dream.” 1) Yes, I can tell you’re suffering beyond your nice clothes and good haircut and beer gut, and 2) everybody dreams! It’s just that not everyone remembers their dreams.

Anyway, besides suffering through him talking, class was fine. People actually seemed interested in my project. I guess I feel insecure in a class like that.

Today I need to get a check in pounds for my deposit for housing in London. You’d think they’d be set up in PayPal or something. I could have called but I can’t dial internationally on my cell or work phone. So either I need a phone card, or I get a check. Right now the check is sounding easier.

friends / library / weekends / work — Comments Off
09
Feb 09

Seems lately all I do are weekend updates

I blame school.

Had a more active weekend than the last. Friday night I had dinner with YP and some of our former co-workers. We went to Tillman’s, which was really nice – beautiful atmosphere, nice music, yummy food and drinks. It was freezing that night so I had a hot toddy, and for dinner I had the chicken sandwich. Yum!

It was fun catching up with the gals. I got some gossip about my old boss. I think I’ve written that he was demoted (’bout time), and somehow he found himself a new position on a different team. Apparently he’s traveling to London soon, and is being extremely neurotic about it. Poor LG, who was his secretary and is now just helping him out till he gets a new one, has suffered the brunt of it.

He’s afraid to fly and so changed his flight a couple of times (once because he thought the plane was too old), and keeps asking LG questions like, “How do I get to my hotel from the airport? What if I only have American money?” Dude, you’re going to LONDON, not the Amazon rainforest. And it’s not like he hasn’t traveled before.

Also, I heard some dirt about another former co-worker, who was a secretary at the same time I was and interested in moving up the way I did – well, she was interested in moving up, but much more passively. The way I did it assess what needed to be done that nobody wanted to do, and just go ahead and take over those “orphaned” projects, which were usually lower profile and less “sexy” anyway, but I didn’t care. She just kept asking managers for work, and they would end up giving her the work I was already doing (and which I had cleared with my boss, who was the head of the whole group). There was a lot of stepping on toes.

I got promoted before she did, but she never asked me for advice. She’d go to her own managers, which was fine, but they didn’t know anything about how to make that jump from secretar to manager. Or she’d go to WG, who was the budget coordinator and my pal, and who kept saying, “Why don’t you talk to Anna?” since I was on the exact career trajectory that she wanted to be on. But she never did.

She just couldn’t get promoted, despite having her MBA. So she left for a managerial position at another company. I was genuinely happy for her. But now I’ve heard that she’s unhappy and has contacted WG about positions here.

Part of me feels bad for her, but part of me is pointing and saying, “Ha ha!” The Marvin part of me apparently.

I got back pretty early, around 9. Later MB and I saw a midnight movie, the New York premiere of Chocolate. It was really good! I mean, the plot was sorta dumb, but it was awesome to see a woman kick ass repeatedly. As usual, the hipster audience was annoying, laughing at unfunny parts.

Saturday we kept missing things. We were all set to go to ComicCon, but the tickets were sold out! They had been available the night before. Should have gotten them online. Then that night we were all set to see Coraline, but when we got to the theater, it was sold out. :( MB didn’t feel like seeing anything else so we took advantage of the nice night and walked home.

Sunday was all about school. Last week I was really good and finished all my homework for Sunday by Friday so I could do my reading for Monday over the weekend. In class on Sunday, we went over our library profiles. I picked my company’s digital library (there is no physical one here in New York, only at another site), and he didn’t get that. He said, “You want to do this?” I don’t really care what library I do, but I’m annoyed that I put in all that work that I now have to do over.

He didn’t come out and say, “Don’t do a digital library,” but I think that’s his feeling, though there are just as many collection management issues with online resources. So I guess I’ll switch to something else.

Tonight’s class should be pretty mellow. The management reading feels familiar so far. I guess I’ve been living management for the past several years. But it’s helpful to see it written in formal terms, and how it can be applied to libraries.

Having three classes is tough! With two I could totally slack and go for days without doing any work. Now I’m doing homework basically every day. But it’ll be over in a few months.

family / food / holidays / library / weekends / work — Comments Off
26
Jan 09

Lunar New Year, sans dumplings

MB and I ended up at my parents’ this weekend, not really for the New Year but because their new TV arrived, and they needed help setting it up.

It was much easier than any of us anticipated. The old TV weighs a gazillion pounds. My parents wanted to put it in the next room, and my dad had the idea of dragging it on a sheet. MB thought this would ruin the carpet and that we’d have to carry it, which made me nervous cuz I had a hard enough time just helping to bring it down from its stand to the floor.

But the sheet thing worked! The TV seemed to weigh nothing as we dragged it away.

The new set of course weighs much less so MB was able to set that up on his own. Then he hooked up all the cables, and boom! we were done. We spent the rest of the afternoon watching stuff, going, “Woooow!” and “Look at that!” and bumping our hands against the screen trying to grab at things we thought were real.

My mom as usual cooked a good dinner, though with no dumplings since she usually makes them with pork and MB isn’t a fan of the other white meat (unless it’s in the form of bacon).

My fave was the salmon.

We left around 9 and got back to our place at 11.

School the next day! :( But I think this is going to be a very relaxed class. We spent the first hour going around the room, introducing ourselves and saying where we wanted to work eventually. On top of the, the teacher asked questions and would sometimes launch into these stories. I thought, Are we going to learn anything today?

He spent the second half lecturing on the history of collection management, but still let us out about 50 minutes early. I expected the lecture to be much longer but suddenly he was letting us go. Ah well.

My Human Information Behavior class on Wednesdays will be a lot more work. Group work, blech. When I walked in last week, I saw that the chairs had been arranged in a circle, and immediately thought, Oh GREAT, this is going to be one of *those* classes. It might be, but the teacher seems to have a good head on her shoulders, though she did drag out the end of class by asking over and over if we had questions, and of course some brown noser would make something up.

What I like about my Sunday class is that I know quite a few people, and we can chat and have inside jokes and stuff. I don’t know anyone in Wednesday one. Normally I don’t care, but that just adds to the weirdness of that class. I’ll find out on 2/2 about my Monday class. That teacher is at the ALA midwinter meeting this week.

Tomorrow I have to go out to NJ again for work, but this time I’m taking a car dammit. Unfortunately I need to be there at 8 so my car is picking me up at 6:45. Ack, so painful.

There is a woman here who’s husband died suddenly a few weeks ago. She’s only in her early 30s, and he died of a brain aneurysm. I can’t even imagine what that’s like. Today is her first day back at work. That must be so weird. How do you deal with people coming up to you, asking you how you’re doing? What do you say? “Well my husband just died – how do you think I’m doing?” She sounds like she’s being very gracious. I mean, what else can you do.

relationships — 2 Comments
09
Jan 09

Theme music for my life: 2003

We all have songs that we associate with certain periods of our lives. Maybe “In Your Eyes” reminds you of your prom while “Borderline” makes you think of junior high and hanging out in the parking lot of Stop ‘n Shop on Friday nights (maybe that’s just me).

Some songs give me a visceral reaction – I hear it and it’s like I’ve traveled back in time.

Back in 2003 I was still married, and had been for about three years. I was happy off and on – my husband and I were comfortable with each other, and had fun sometimes. But I also worried a lot. I felt like I wasn’t meeting a lot of expectations, from not driving more to not making enough money to buy a house.

I don’t know why I hate driving. In high school I developed a phobia, then going to college in New York and living in Boston afterwards, I just never really had a need. My husband HATED that I didn’t like to drive, and put tremendous pressure on me. Once he tried to teach me to drive stick in a parking lot, which was a disaster. I was very sensitive, and he interpreted my sensitivity as stubornness and just pressed harder till finally he lost his temper.

In 2003 I was still a secretary making about $50K, which to my ex wasn’t enough. By then, he thought, we should have had enough to buy a condo or townhouse. I thought saving some money every month would help, but he thought somehow we should have a big chunk of change all at once. He wanted me to switch careers into something with more upward mobility, like going back into publishing, although I didn’t want to do that and wanted to focus on my writing.

“You’d be happier if I gave up my writing altogether,” I said. He didn’t deny it.

So I tried to write a best seller. The experience was awful. It took a toll on how I approached and felt about my writing. I hated the pressure, and when I kept getting rejected, I felt at a loss as to what I could do to make money.

It was all about money. When one of my short stories got accepted by a literary magazine, my ex’s first question was, “How much will they pay you?” I had a feeling they wouldn’t, as most lit journals just can’t afford it, but still I asked and felt like such an asshole when the editor answered that most authors are happy to simply be published.

At the gym in the mornings they’d play this Jimmy Eat World song again and again. It’s sort of vapid, but the words would make me want to cry:

Hey, you know they’re all the same.
You know you’re doing better on your own,
So don’t buy in.
Live right now.
Yeah, just be yourself.
It doesn’t matter if it’s good enough
For someone else.

It just takes some time,
Little girl, you’re in the middle of the ride.
Everything, everything will be just fine,
Everything, everything will be alright. (alright)

And listening to the song on my iPod on the bus this morning still brought a tear to my eye. Not so much in a self-pitying way, but like who I was in 2003 was someone else, a girl I want to tell that everything will be all right.

friends / weekends — Comments Off
05
Jan 09

Oy, back at work

I didn’t even take any vacation and it’s still tough to come back after the holidays. Two dead weeks and two four-day weekends in a row will do that to you.

The rest of our weekend was pretty mellow. MB practiced music, I wrote and read, and we bought a toaster oven. Or attempted to because after hauling it back from Bed, Bath, and Beyond, we found that the grill was missing. That’s helpful! Yesterday MB exchanged it and we tested it out: open-faced grilled cheese sandwiches. . .with bacon. Yup, I’m on a diet.

This weekend ES came down to NJ at the last minute. Yesterday I hopped the train down for the day, the 9:14 AM, which was very peaceful. Oh yeah, I was finally able to update my iPod. Like a dope I had put my iTunes library on my old work computer, which was left behind with my old position. I didn’t think there was any way to copy what was on my iPod into a new library, but MB showed me some software that could do that.

So yesterday on the train I had my iPod with some new MIA, the soundtrack from the movie, The Wackness, and some music I stole from MB, including Lykke Li and Elbow, whom I had never heard of but apparently had the album of the year.

ES picked me up from the train station, and we headed out to AY’s, who was nice enough to make us brunch. We had a lovely spread of eggs, ham, cheese, veggies, and some croissants ES and I picked up. And of course coffee!

Then we gabbed and gabbed and gabbed, and before we knew it we were hungry all over again.

We decided to drive into Princeton and walk around a bit. But it was so cold, we didn’t last very long before ducking into a restaurant and eating some yummy pizza for a late lunch. Then by the time we came out, everything was closed. That’s Princeton for ya!

I was going to take the 5:43 train back, but we ended up having too much fun taking crazy Photobooth pictures with ES’s Mac. It’s amazing how the distorted photos can crack us up again and again. I missed the 5:43 but it was no biggie since there was a 6:14, which gave ES and me time to hang out more, and for her – the sweetie! – to run to to the store and get me a ginger ale since I had somehow managed to get car sick on the very short ride from AY’s to the station.

Got back home around 8. MB and I just hung out watching The Thing, which was quite entertaining. The other night we watched Heavy Metal, which was also entertaining as well as ridiculous. I can see why MB liked it as a kid!

Last night I couldn’t sleep till about 2. I am so tired! But I still managed to get a short workout in at lunchtime.

family / food / holidays / travel / weekends / what i'm reading now — 1 Comment
28
Dec 08

Christmas recap

MB and I had a nice time at my parents’ this weekend. Having him there really makes a difference – being there on my own is sort of tortuous, just me and my folks and their weird questions.

We didn’t leave till the afternoon of Christmas Day. I had to drag MB out of bed at 12 so we could leave by 1 or 2. We ended up catching a 3:15 train, which got us in around 4:30. There weren’t too many people, but more than we expected.

Then it was the usual: lots of eating. I tried not to pig out as much this time. Over Thanksgiving I was eating pie every few hours. Also, MB set up the Mac Mini my brother and I got for our parents. They’ve been thinking about getting a new computer, and the PC is horrendous for their favorite activity, downloading Korean soap opera videos and burning them to disc. With the Mac Mini, they can more do those things more easily, as well as connect directly to the TV. They needed a couple of extra parts so we had to wait till the next day to go get them.

That night we had Mongolian hotpot for Christmas dinner, like we did on Thanksgiving. MB has grown to be a fan of it, especially the spicy dipping sauces and very thinly sliced beef.

The next day we hit the mall to get the cable to connect the Mac Mini to the TV as well as a wireless router. Needless to say, it was a madhouse, wall to wall stereotypical suburbanites with their terrible frosted hair, giant sports jerseys, and awful Ugg boots. But at least we got what we needed for my parents. Afterwards MB and I ducked into the peace and quiet of Border’s, which surprisingly was pretty empty.

We had planned on leaving that night, but it took a while to get back from the mall, and then for MB to finish setting up the computer. So we decided to leave on Saturday, which pleased my parents greatly.

MB set up everything pretty fast. Before we knew it, my parents’ TV had been transformed into a giant computer monitor, and my mother could watch her stories directly from the Internet. My brother did a great job setting up the display for them, with a giant cursor/arrow and their “homepage” which sits on his website, and shows the three sites they go to for their shows. The wireless mouse is pretty neat. It acts like a remote, but takes some getting used to. I kept wanting to move it like a regular mouse with big movements, but it’s actually more like a laser pointer.

Saturday we just hung around and relaxed. We both got up fairly late, 10 for me, 11 for MB, had some lunch and just read our books till our 3 o’clock train. Last week I finally finished that Bach book MB had been raving about. I understand why he likes it – he’s studying music and like Bach is very scientific and mathematical – but I thought it was boring as hell. There was interesting information in it, but it wasn’t told like a story. It was like, here’s all this information.

Now I’m reading The Secret History by Donna Tartt and it is SO GOOD. It’s really well-written with interesting characters, and plus there’s mystery and suspense. Inspired by that I ordered a couple of other “literary mysteries” from Amazon with the gift card my brother got me – In the Woods and and The Likeness by Tana French, and The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo by Stieg Larsson.

The 3 PM train was extremely crowded. We were able to get two seats together, but there were two noisy kids behind us, and then people standing in the aisle towards the end. What we didn’t know was that there was a hockey game at Madison Square Garden that day. Lots of tourists are awful, but lots of tourists in Devils/Rangers jerseys are even worse. That night we were so worn out from the crowds, we just stayed in aside from dinner at our favorite Italian place.

Today I’ve got to do some laundry, though it’s so mild out, all I want to do is walk around.

awareness / family / food / relationships / weekends / writing — Comments Off
15
Dec 08

I feel good today for some reason

I mean, I usually feel pretty good, but it *is* Monday, which normally calls for the blahs.

Could be because my new boss has started, and I finally have some real work to do. Being bored really does take a toll on morale, even for lazy someones like me. Also, I’m all done with school assignments, and I have just one more class, this Thursday, which will be discussing a bunch of readings. Finally, I’ve had a good couple of conversations with my mom recently.

She seems to be holding back her worries, namely her vision of MB’s and my “future” – ie, getting married and buying properpty, contrary to *our* vision of not getting married (but still having kids, scandalous!) and traveling the world – and is enjoying the idea of my being happy for a change, or again her vision of my being happy which equals being with someone who treats me well. I was perfectly fine on my own, but my parents will never believe that.

My mother and I are so alike with our worrying. Sometimes now I wake up and think, Shouldn’t I be worrying about something? Before my worries mostly had to do with my job. How awful it was! The demanding, incomprehensible boss with career expectations for me that I didn’t want! The forced socializing with sales people! The high-pressure presentations! I’d wake up at 3 in the morning and apply online to random, low-paying jobs, that’s how bad it was. I thought about quitting and being jobless. I thought I’d like to do something completely non-stress, like being a crossing guard.

This weekend I had the chance to work on my manuscript. Rereading it is always like reliving the past, though not in a harmful way. They’re far enough away that I have some distance, and reliving them sometimes reveals more memories, more layers to add. I remember visiting my cousin in Portland shortly after she came from China, and how she and her husband were so lovey dovey, to the point I wanted to shout, “Get a room!” They didn’t make out in public, but they’d do things like blow each other kisses, write “I owe you one kiss”on a post-it and put it up, tell each other that they loved each other in front of everyone.

Yeah, actually, it was kind of gross.

But at the time, it also made me feel lonely. I was married and I knew my husband loved me, but we were never like that. We never got so carried away we forgot about the rest of the world. He was always very concerned about what others thought. But at the time, I didn’t let myself think that it made me lonely, watching my cousin and her husband. I just made snide remarks.

I’m also glad I never had a kid with my ex. One, I’d still be connected to him, and two, there was so much pressure from his family. “I want my grandsons to go to Eton,” my ex-FIL said one time. There are so many things wrong with that statement, I don’t even know where to begin.

~ ~ ~

Now the boring update! :) Friday night was lazy for me. MB suggested going to a late movie, but I was so tired, we just watched a bunch of stuff on Hulu.com, and I went to sleep before midnight.

Saturday I worked on my writing a little before we headed out to run some errands. It was freezing that day, and really hard to motivate myself to get outside. But I did, and that night we ate at this soba noodle place for the first time, Soba Koh, on East 5th Street. It was so good and perfect for that wintry night. We both had the early bird special for $19: a daikon salad, egg custard with crab (and other weird things), and hot or cold soba with a variety of tempura. We both got hot.

It didn’t look like a lot of food but it was pretty filling. The tempura was really good. I’m used to it with a ton of batter, but these were perfect. Also included is ice cream, vanilla or green tea.

Later we saw a midnight showing of Poltergeist at IFC. It was fun, not scary, since I’ve seen the movie so many times. As a kid it scared the shit out of me, especially that clown doll. Also, Jo Beth Williams and Craig T. Nelson are really good in it! If they weren’t so good, the movie would have been over the top and cheesy.

Sunday I was able to get more writing done, despite getting up at 11. We didn’t do much except grab a late lunch at 3. We went to one of our usual places, Zucco: Le French Diner, where I had for the first time, something du dimanche. Ack, I can’t remember the name! Anyway, as the name implies it’s served only on Sundays: a potato cake filled with goat cheese and topped with a poached egg, served with ratatouille and lamb sausage.

I totally just made myself hungry.

Some of my other favorite dishes are the pain perdu, or French toast; the pate sandwich, which is served with cornichon, these delicious little pickles; and the risotto des legumes. The coffee is really good too.

I need to eat lunch soon.

Angela Tung Oversharing on the internet since 2005.