22
Jun 10

The vertigo is back

I felt it early this morning.  I turned my head, felt a little dizzy, opened my eyes, and they were doing the spinning thing.  But not bad.  So I thought, Maybe not, although yesterday I did feel off with pressure in my sinuses.

I couldn’t get back to sleep.  I kept thinking, What if it’s back?  Finally, I “tested” it.  I rolled onto my left side: slightly dizzy but okay.  Then my right: okay. . .okay. . .it’s baaaaack.

In one way, it’s okay because I know what it is, what to do about it, and how long it will last (a week to ten days).  In another way, it’s annoying and depressing.  I hate the constant light-headed feeling, having to experience the vertigo while doing my exercises, and being limited physically.

There goes today’s workout.

At least I’m not working at the office today.  I can do my dumb little therapy and call a doctor to make an appointment.  Hopefully I’ll find one who knows about BPPV and won’t try to prescribe me anything.

I’m not sure what caused this bout.  I know once you have BPPV, you can have recurrences and there’s basically nothing you can do to prevent it.  My personal theory is that tilting my head back a lot brings it on, which I did when I put up shower curtains on Sunday, and have been doing a lot playing Xmahjongg on our other computer, which is also our TV.  To be able to see the screen for the game, I sit on the floor and tilt my head upwards for long stretches of time.

But this is just my guess.

Of course I should be able to put my head in any position for as long as I want without any problem.  But I guess since I had that virus which gave me BPPV, I’m more susceptible to misplaced ear crystals.

In other news, I have a new post over at The Nervous Breakdown.  It has nothing to do with vertigo.


10
May 10

Babbly little update

It was nice to take a small break from writing this weekend, after last week’s busy schedule.  I did work on stuff, but in a leisurely way.

I’ve decided to continue with my corporate mystery.  I can’t remember if I wrote about this, but I was going to throw in the towel since I was so bored writing it.  I had an idea for another novel, but I was just as bored starting that.  At least with the corporate mystery, the characters are more developed in my head, and I know where the story is going.

We saw Iron Man 2 over the weekend.  I was expecting it to be lame, but we both enjoyed it.  I had read something about “too many villains,” but I didn’t think there were, especially compared to that one Batman.

I finished the fifth Harry Potter and now am reading Love in the Time of Cholera.  I like it, but I really love the Harry Potter books.  Just two more in the series!

This weekend I started my “diet,” which for me means “not eating like a pig” as well as making sure I eat enough so I don’t binge later.  For instance, at Nick’s Crispy Tacos, I usually just get one fish taco (fried: baby steps), which doesn’t quite fill me up and then I end up eating a meal at 4, as well as dinner at 8.  So this time I added the tortilla soup, which was AMAZING by the way.  That satisfied me but I didn’t feel stuffed and gross.

I have to remember to incorporate soup whenever I can.  One, I love it.  Two, clear soups are pretty healthy I think, usually full of veggies and lean meat.  Three, like I said, they’re filling but don’t make you feel gross.

Last night we had fish dinners at Grub Stake, and I refrained from eating my potatoes.  Just my salmon and veggies.  MB got an apple crumble dessert and I had just a bite to taste it.  Later I had part of Luna Bar for my “dessert.”

Today I need to work out!

In other news, I finally got an interview!  I haven’t had any luck so for this particular position, I decided to have fun and be honest.  My application email wasn’t so much an application as an essay incorporating what they asked for.  Not a dense essay but sort of ranty and conversational, the way I write some stuff for The Nervous Breakdown.  The interview’s on Wednesday.


07
May 10

Busy like a hummingbird

I was pretty busy this week for a change.  I had four dinky articles to research and write, plus two personal essays (one of which is up now).  I finished everything yesterday so today actually does feel like Friday to me, instead of just a random day.


Yesterday one of my SF pals and I went to the Botanical Gardens.  Beautiful of course!  There weren’t as many flowers as weird plants and trees, which in a way was more interesting.  Also, I kept spotting cool birds, like these two that were like pheasants dart across a walkway behind a bush, and this teeny tiny bright red and orange hummingbird sitting on top of a tall cactus.

“Look at that tiny bird,” I said.  Then it went shooting off, hovering so high above us.  Suddenly it did a dive bomb into a grassy area, so fast we actually heard its wings whirring.  Then back up, hover, and ZOOOOM! back down.  It was pretty fucking cool.

I was telling MB that the animals in NJ/NY are far less interesting.  Pigeons, gross (though of course there are plenty of pigeons here as well).  While weird and interesting birds frequent Central Park sometimes, they’re not easy to spot.  Except for cardinals and blue jays, all the animals in NJ are brown and gray – deer, rabbits, gophers, squirrels, chipmunks – as woodland creatures tend to be.

Afterward my friend and I headed over to the Japanese Tea Garden, like we did last time, and like last time, I totally got a spam musubi.  Yum!


In other writing news, I got a notice yesterday that I’m a finalist in this nonfiction contest I entered a few months ago.  Yippee!  I’ll find out the results early next month.

Today I need to work on my next post for The Nervous Breakdown, which I’ve been neglecting for this past couple of weeks.


Yesterday I was looking for pictures of myself for an upcoming article.  Damn was I skinny a few years ago!  I mean, I knew I was thin, but compared to now: totally skinny.

I know I’ve gained some weight over the past couple of years.  Last week I got on the scale for the first time in a while: ten pounds.  I suspected as such.

While I was heartened by a recent WSJ article that said being 10 to 15 pounds overweight isn’t bad, and in fact may help stave off osteoporosis and make you look younger, I still miss skinny me.  I want to lose if not all ten extra pounds, then five.  It’s so tough nowadays, between getting older and eating more to catch up with MB.  When I was single, I ate much less.  Plus I was doing more long runs.


26
Apr 10

Vertigo update

I think it’s all gone.

By Wednesday, I was feeling somewhat better.  While I was woozy during the day, I didn’t have any vertigo when I did my anti-vertigo therapy.  Ditto with Thursday.  By Friday I was feeling even more normal, and by yesterday, almost 100%.

It’s such a wonderful feeling not to be constantly dizzy and nauseous (which by the way is really fucking hard to spell), and to be able to sleep on my side without inducing the involuntary merry-go-round.

I should still see the doctor though.  I sent my paperwork to the vertigo clinic last week, but they said I need a referral.  You think they could have put that on their website.  So this week I need to find a primary care doctor.

MB and I spent most of the weekend enjoying the beautiful weather.  On Saturday we walked to the Ferry Building, and yesterday we hung out in Union Square.  The sun was actually too strong for me – my feet in my sandals were burning!  So we sat in the shade.

This week I want to hand in a few articles, one assignment and two blind submissions.  Will also see about jobs.  Still haven’t heard back from the two I applied for.

Now that I’m feeling better, I’m not as anxious about finding a job immediately.  I’m also open to writing gigs and having several freelance assignments going on at once.


23
Apr 10

Take a gelato, some flowers, and Coco, and call me in the morning

I’ve been trying to be active this week despite my vertigo, which seems to be improving by the way.  I went to the gym a few times – though I did much lighter workouts – and have continued to do the exercises we found online.  While earlier in the week, the exercises would induce vertigo (which is normal), yesterday and this morning, they didn’t at all.  I still feel woozy most of time, as though I’m getting over the flu, but I definitely feel better.

Just in time for my insurance to get approved!  Even though I’m feeling better, I’m still going to see a doctor, just in case.  I’m starting to think it was actually a sinus infection.  I felt a lot of sinus pressure this week, which also explains my general icky feeling.

Walking around and being active definitely helps.  On Wednesday, I met SCG for gelato in the Ferry Building.  It was a very nice walk and fun to hang out.  Yesterday I went with another SF pal to see the Bouquets to Art exhibit at the de Young.  Apparently it’s a big yearly event and lasts only four days since the flowers die.

My friend suggested getting there early, a great idea since by noon it was packed with every old lady from the Bay Area.  The floral pieces were mostly pretty cool.  Some were impressionistic, some were too literal for my taste.  And there were TONS.  By the time we worked our way down to the first floor, we were both sort of pooped.

We popped into the Japanese Tea Garden afterward, where we got some delicious tea and I got a Spam musubi, which if you don’t already know is fried Spam on rice wrapped in seaweed, basically a Spam roll.  It was so freaking good.

Last night MB and I saw Conan O’Brien perform.  It was pretty entertaining, basically like one of his late night shows but on steroids and without talking to celebrity guests.  I mean, he did have famous guests, including Reggie Watts (whom MB loves) and Chris Isaak.

It ended at 11, and we were both already tired.  Luckily the show was at the Nob Hill Masonic Center, which is just a few blocks from our place.

Today needs to be a “work” day – gym in a little while, then writing all afternoon.

I’m still waiting to hear from a couple of jobs I applied for, while on Wednesday I got the quickest rejection ever.  Applied in the morning, rejected by mid-afternoon.  At least they’re efficient.


15
Apr 10

Still dizzy

I’m still dealing with the vertigo.  I haven’t had any bouts of it today, but I’m worn out from last night’s “treatment.”

I tried doing the Epely Maneuver on my own, and succeeded in inducing vertigo as well as nausea.  MB had me do it again so that he could see if my eyes did the crazy movement indicative of BPPV.  At first I had very little vertigo, but then I rolled my eyes up, and I had another spell.

I HATE that spinning, car sick feeling.  Imagine car sickness but a hundred times worse because you can always get out of the car.  I can’t get out of my head.  Of course I couldn’t keep anything down after that.

I felt nauseous for hours afterward.  I took some motion sickness medicine, but could barely keep it down.  It did finally kick in around two or three AM.  Needless to say, I didn’t sleep well.  The meds made me both drowsy and anxious, and I had to stay upright, at about a 45 degree angle.  That wasn’t so bad, but I’m used to sleeping on my side.

Didn’t help that the woman downstairs – the loud sex woman whom I had thought was above us – played techno music till 5:30 AM.  She only turned it off because MB went downstairs and knocked on her door.  She seems like a bit of a kook.  She is either not at home for days, having very loud sex, sobbing at the top of her lungs, or playing said loud techno music.

Today was sucky because I couldn’t do my usual stuff.  Barely any writing, no yoga, no running.  I’m going to have to lay off the yoga for quite some time.  I found some more info on the trusty internet that said some yoga positions can trigger BPPV.

I applied for a job though.  Communications coordinator.  I’m probably overqualified, but that’s what I want, something easy.  Plus not having insurance sucks.


14
Apr 10

Dizzy

This morning I woke up incredibly dizzy.  Usually I push myself up and grab my cell phone to see what time it is, but I was so overcome with dizziness, I had to lie back down.

I assumed I was dehydrated because the room was a bit warm, but this afternoon, after my workout, I was doing some yoga at home and had that same feeling of vertigo.  Not just a head rush, like I was about to fall over.

I stopped the yoga and stretched out to do some sit ups, and then the room was totally spinning.

I don’t feel sick – except nausea from the dizziness – and I’m definitely not pregnant so I didn’t know what was up.  The internet to the rescue!

At first I thought maybe I had an ear infection. I felt under the weather on Monday, but was better by the afternoon.  I chalked it up to allergies.  But with an ear infection, my ear would actually hurt, and I’ve had no pain.

MB thinks it’s iron deficiency anemia. A possibility since I just finished my period, but I have so few of the symptoms.  Dizziness, check.  Extreme fatigue – well, I’m always quite tired during my period, but I wouldn’t say I have extreme fatigue.  But that’s it.  I especially don’t have “[u]nusual cravings for non-nutritive substances, such as ice, dirt or pure starch” – weird!

I think it’s Benign Paroxysmal Positioning Vertigo, or BPPV. This happens basically when the crystals in your ears that are for balance go floating off where they’re not supposed to be.  It seems just tipping your head back can cause this, and this weekend I did a lot of sun saluting, which I haven’t done in a while (in my yoga class, we don’t tip our heads back too much).

Usually this only affects people 60 or over.  What the – ?  I’m not even 40 yet!

The Epely Maneuver is both a way for doctor to diagnose BPPV and to fix it.  I tried it on my own this afternoon, and my eyes did a crazy up and down thing when I turned to the right, which is what happens with BPPV.  And after I did the maneuver a few times, I felt somewhat better.

I guess I’ll try it again tomorrow if I still feel all veritgo-y.


02
Apr 10

Tidbits

I feel like I barely got any work done today.  Yesterday I started an essay that I was supposed to type up today, but the day just totally disappeared.  I did at least pitch an idea to another magazine.  Then I just remembered I wanted to do a blog post today too.

My essay for Smart Pop Books Dollhouse contest didn’t win. Oh well!  Here it is in full if you’re interested, and a list of the winners.

I finally got a hair cut. Now MB can stop calling me a “dirty hippie.”  Even my hairdresser was like, “I think you waited too long to see me.”  Charles is great!  He’s French and a total scifi/fantasy nerd.  We always talk about movies, and today he basically critiqued all the C.S. Lewis books.

I ran eight miles today. I ran four, rowed for a couple of minutes, and thought I’d run two or three more, but at three I knew I could do another.  Hence, eight!  Hopefully that will make up for having cheese at nearly every meal yesterday (breakfast: cheese toast, afternoon snack: cheese in a pita, dinner: pizza).

This weekend will be a nerd extravaganza. Tonight are the season premieres of Stargate Universe and Merlin on the SyFy channel.  Tomorrow MB and I are going to WonderCon and seeing Clash of the Titans.

My mom changed her mind AGAIN. Now the cruise is out, and coming to SF is back in.  But they’d only come for a few days because it turns out they don’t have to be back in L.A. the following weekend to take care of my grandmother.  My aunt volunteered to skip the wedding (sure she’s crushed) and come up the weekend my grandmother needs care instead.

My parents will take care of their own flight.  We just need to find them a hotel.  A possibility is seeing if one of the furnished apartments in our building will be vacant at that time.  That would actually be ideal.

MB wants to go to G&L Guitars in Fullerton while we’re in L.A. But how will we get there?  We don’t drive!


24
Feb 10

Naked

I’m not adverse to paying strangers to touch me. My limbs have been “polished” with lavender infused sea salt. My pores have been squeezed into oblivion. I’ve been subjected to the powerful knees and elbows of a deceptively tiny Thai woman. But none prepared me for the Imperial Day Spa.

Traditional Korean bath houses made news last year when Ellen DeGeneres talked about the awkwardness of getting recognized at one while completely naked. That’s what distinguishes jimjilbang from typical Western spas. Robes and towels are often thrown to the wayside, and it’s like Oh! Calcutta! with hot tubs.

In a somewhat sketchy outskirt of Japantown, the building was window-less, the neon sign more car dealership than spa. Across the parking lot, a KFC emanated its pungent cloud of chicken greasiness. Inside, however, we were greeted by a friendly young Asian woman and, a sure sign of cleanliness, the aroma of bleach.

My friend and I had signed up for the full body scrub and massage, ninety minutes of exfoliation, oil massage, hair washing, and facial. We were instructed to arrive thirty minutes early for a shower, soak, and sauna.

We knew we’d have to be naked. Full on, buck-wild naked. I don’t mind being topless – I have hardly any boobs to speak of – but the only times I go bottomless are at the gynecologist’s and while getting a Brazilian (which is a whole other story), neither a pleasant experience. The bathing area was already full of buck-wild naked women showering. What else could we do but disrobe and shower too.

There’s something about seeing a friend in the buff. Strangers, who cares. But nudity, like drinking glasses and toothbrushes, is not necessarily something you want to share with someone you’re not sleeping with. But after a while, we somehow forgot our clothes-less state.

(I have a friend who’s a stand up comedian. Correction: a stand up comedian who likes to be naked. It’s not enough for him to naked at home, he must be naked on stage too. More times than I care to admit, I’ve seen this friend, and other comedians, some funny, some bad, some awful, naked on stage. They claim to forget they’re naked. Now I believe them.)

There were a few spa-goers who seemed like regulars. They had a whole routine: shower first, then dry sauna, cold dip, wet sauna, and finally, a hot soak. Unlike me, they also seemed perfectly comfortable in their own and everyone else’s in-the-buffness. Unlike me, they didn’t stare.

While soaking in the hot tub (and staring), I noticed a few Asian woman walking around in their bra and underwear. I assumed they were shy (unlike the older Korean lady who had no qualms about arising steamy and au naturel from the sauna to plop her rathery jiggly bum on a stool and vigorously wash herself at one of the sit down showers) but I soon learned they worked there.

“Thirty-seven!” one lady called. “Forty-three!” yelled another. We were up.

Carefully treading up the slippery steps, we found a very wet room full of the aforementioned Asian women in matching burgundy bras and panties, wiping down what looked like doctor’s examination tables covered in plastic. No privacy here, that was for sure. There was water everywhere, big barrels, small barrels, dripping from faucets, running across the floor.

You’d think Asian ladies + bra and panties = sexy. It does not, at least not with short stocky women who could break you in two. I imagined them pulling babies from stubborn wombs, slamming the dirt out of laundry on a rock, and carrying their husbands, drunk and passed out, on their backs home to Richmond and Sunset.

My friend and I – did I mention we were naked? – were instructed to climb face-down onto our respective tables. Across the room, I saw a pale, red-haired woman lying perfectly peacefully, as though poolside at her own private estate.

Blind to my surroundings, I heard the splash of water and suddenly a tidal wave of hot water was thrown over me.

“Whoop!” I whooped involuntarily.

“Hot?” my lady, Julie, asked, amused.

“It’s okay,” I said.

Another splash of water – which began to feel pretty damned good – and Julie got to work.

Now: I think I take pretty good care of my skin. I slather on moisturizer every day, and give myself a full body buff every week. But apparently it wasn’t enough.

Using a towel, Julie rubbed. She rubbed and rubbed and rubbed, starting from one cracked heel, working her way up and across. She spent an inordinate amount of time polishing my ass (which indeed was soft as a baby’s bum afterward). The backs of my arms, my hands. At times I thought she’d rub me to the bone.

Then it was time to flip me over. Lying with your tush exposed is one thing – stretched out with your hoohah unveiled is quite another. Again, I thought of a Brazilian, and was grateful that Julie was not about to slap hot wax on me and RIP.

Once I was scoured within an inch of my life, she swabbed warm liquid on me – oil? milk? – then splashed me again with hot water, which was like a luscious liquid blanket. “Stand please,” she said, and splashed me again, from both sides. She handed me a towel, then rinsed and wiped the table clean of the nuclear fallout of my dead skin.

After a hurried massage (during which my friend opened her eyes and was alarmed to find that Julie had climbed onto my table and was straddling me as she pounded my back) and shampoo, and a cumcuber-y facial, I was rinsed once again with a hot liquid. I stood once more, and she gave me a final douse of hot water.

The result? Silky soft skin that lasted for weeks. Would I do it again? I just might. I imagine a whole routine, a night of beauty if you will, like the regulars. Deep condition the hair, exfoliate body and face, rinse, repeat.

But perhaps I’d rather go solo, no offense to friends. Like Ellen, I’d prefer not to be recognized while naked.


04
Feb 10

What I hate about yoga

As some of you may know, I’ve started taking yoga.  It’s been about a month now, and I think it’s really made a difference.  My flexibility is better, and my arms and upper body look and feel more toned.

I feel myself improving from class to class.  Earlier this week we were doing that thing where you’re standing on one foot with the other leg up in the air behind you and your arms out front.  I can do it, but usually I’m wobbly.  Suddenly, this time I thought, The balance isn’t in my foot, it’s in my middle.  I tightened up my core and was able to get my body even straighter.

But of course there are still some things about yoga that I find annoying.

People’s feet. I don’t like looking at people’s bare feet, unless we’re at the beach, and this includes my own.  I don’t know why.  I just get skeeved seeing them positioned and pointed, especially guys’.  During class of course I don’t notice it, just before we’re about to start.

Yes, I know I’m a freak.

Show-offs. Before class even starts, I’m going to start doing yoga.  Or during a pose, I’m going to do EXTRA.  See how flexible I am?   See how I can balance?

There was one woman earlier this week who was a yoga MASTER.  I just copied what she did.  But did she show off?  Nope.  Before class started, she was reading/writing, and she did the poses exactly as the teacher said.  Just because you’re good doesn’t mean you have to show off.

People’s cell phones going off. Not that I’m all spiritual, but if it’s quiet and you’re relaxed and trying to focus, that’s the last thing you want to hear.

Seeing my chubby albino legs in the mirror. Gah, I’m blinded!  This is why I’ve started wearing pants.

My hyperextending elbows. What was a parlor trick, I now know is a freak show.  I have to remember to not hyperextend as we do the warrior pose or the triangle, although I’m sure people aren’t paying attention to me at all.

Today I may try a second round.  Usually I just go once a week, but I feel like I’ve recovered from Tuesday.

Lately I’ve been lessening the intensity of my cardio workouts.  MB suggested a change in routine might jump start my body.  I used to do five days of cardio – four miles on Monday and Tuesday, elliptical on Wednesday, four miles on Thursday and Friday – but I’ve been doing that for years, and I think my body hit a rut.

Now I’m trying:

    Monday – run 3 or 4 miles; light weight training for arms
    Tuesday – run 3 or 4 miles; one hour of yoga
    Wednesday – 40 minutes of elliptical
    Thursday – rest; or possibly yoga; no cardio
    Friday – long cardio session (run 5 to 7 miles)

Eventually, that’ll become too routine as well, and I’ll have to change things up again.  I think that’s the trick – variety.