03
Dec 06

The weekend thus far: Friday

The “weekend thus far” post was turning into one of Moby Dick-proportions, so I’m dividing into parts. First up, Friday.

~ ~ ~
Friday night I volunteered for the Small Press Center’s indie press book fair, which started on Saturday. My work consisted of making signage, straightening the books on the first floor (the Small Press Center is in something like a library), helping to string Christmas lights in the “cafe,” and collating handouts. Back to my secretary days.

The signage was made up of three almost letter-sized agenda pages and a large poster board. I saw one of the other volunteers using colored paper to mat the agenda pages and thought that was a cool idea. “I’m totally copying you,” I told her.

My design was simple. Three staggered agenda pages and two colored pages behind them at acute angles. Her design was more complex. The agenda pages didn’t fit exactly onto the poster board and so she got out the scissors and used the paper cutter. The thought of this made me feel tired so I just overlapped the pages. Then she matted each individual agenda page with a variety of colors. I didn’t see her finished product so I’ve no idea how they turned out.

As I worked on the floor, people passing by kept stopping to say, “Wow, that looks great! Those are beautiful!” Later one of the women who was also helping to string the Christmas lights said, “Did you do the signs? They’re beautiful this year!” Good lord, what did they look like last year? Then, one of the gals running the show came up to me and said, “Are you the artist? We need to make arrows.” It was pretty funny to me.

I’ve never thought of myself as having a good eye. When I was a kid, I was skilled at reproducing pictures by hand, but not good at creating visually from scratch. I’ve always thought of myself as visually challenged. I have a horrible sense of direction; all roads and streets look the same to me unless I’ve traveled over them a million times. I can’t remember where conference rooms or people’s offices are outside of my floor.

Spatially in a small area I’m good. I know where exactly where stuff is in my place, my parents’ house, my office.

Maybe having a good eye is a skill that can be developed. I got into a conversation with one of the volunteers about hard work vs talent in terms of writing. You can have all the talent in the world, but if you don’t have the drive and tenacity, who cares? My teacher said the same thing, that most newspaper and magazine editors would take the less talented hard worker over the more talented diva, or divo, as the case may be.

Most of the other volunteers, with the exception of the woman also doing signage, seemed to have had worked for the Small Press Center before, either full time or freelance. The woman I talked to the most had done some PR work for them, was a freelance journalist for several years in the midwest, Pennsylvania, and now here, and just got a job with an academic publisher. It was cool to talk to someone so experienced in journalism, though a different kind than I’m interested in.

Another woman there was the literary agent I met with at the writers’ conference in April. I don’t think she recognized me, and I didn’t say anything. I had sent her a couple of things, at her request, and never heard back from her. Okay, not interested.

The writing world is so small. Another employee for the SPC said I looked familiar though I didn’t recognize her.

I worked from about 5:30 till after 8. They brought in pizza for dinner, which was cool. As I left, the director of the center thanked me a million times for “giving up my Friday night.” I felt like a loser for a millisecond, then let it go.

I walked several blocks north to the next subway stop. It had just stopped raining so the city had that shiny, clean look. All the holiday lights are up now and I couldn’t resist taking some pictures:

With all the stopping and taking photos, I didn’t get home till almost 10. Then I became very interested in TV, including a rerun of House at 11 (the diagnosis always seems to be either a weird fungus or a genetic disease, or a combination of both) so I didn’t go to sleep till midnight.


27
Nov 06

Thanksgiving Up and Down

*Sigh.* So Thanksgiving.

Bad news first. Had a HUGE fight with my mother. I don’t even want to get into the details. Mea culpa, but it was a small thing that she let fester for weeks till finally she decided to pull a silent treatment, which of course I couldn’t leave alone, resulting in a giant, tear-inducing argument.

To tell the truth, it was a long time coming. I know I’ve been emotionally distant from my parents these last several months and that I’ve been in a selfish phase. I expected everything to come to a head, and wish it had been worked out more calmly, but we’re taking about my mother here, with her temper and stuborness, SO stubborn that she can’t even admit that she has a temper or is stubborn, a deadly combination. And my poor nice dad caught in the middle, only wanting a peaceful family get-together.

In the end we talked things through and now we understand each other better, and my mother is over her mad and happy again, but I still fell sorta crummy about the whole thing. I feel beaten down. I’ve been pushed in to the peace maker role again – aping my role when I was married – and it feels extra yucky because I realize now that’s how I was during my marriage.

But there’s no use in expressing these feelings because she refuses to listen; she thinks she’s right and that there’s a certain way to behave, and these other feelings don’t matter.

It’s been a long time since I’ve felt bad like this, and I hate her for making feel like this over such a small thing. But those feelings will pass. Once I get some time and distance. Three nights and days was way too much time to spend with them.

I remembered again what someone said, that we all marry our mothers, men and women, and for me it was true. I should have married someone like my dad who though he can be impatient and antisocial, never flips out about anything. Takes everything in stride and doesn’t get insulted by small things. He keeps an eye on the bigger picture, he knows that his children love him, and if he’s assured that we’re okay, that’s all that matters.

Anyway.

Onto more cheerful things. Had a blast with ES. She came in Tuesday night, first stopping at my office to check it out. Then we headed uptown and visited with SB and Ellie. ES is really good at playing with kids. She’s more energetic than I am, and little Ellie was in love.

Around 8:30 SB’s dad came to pick up Ellie for the evening, and we three went out to dinner. La Tour is a French place near me that has all you can eat mussels and frites for $18, which is what I should have gotten. Instead I opted for the French sheperd’s pie, which was like regular sheperd’s pie minus the deep dish as well as the flavor, though it was probably supposed to have that. ES got the steak tartare, which she said wasn’t very good either. SB’s mussels were delish.

Wednesday morning ES went to meet her mother and get tickets for an afternoon show. I worked out, then met ES, her mom, their cousin, and SB for lunch at Ruby Foo’s. Unlike the night before, the food was really good. I got the pad thai, which usually isn’t filling enough for me, but this one was chock full of shrimp, chicken, tofu, soybeans, and other veggies.

While ES, her mom, and cousin went to see The Color Purple, which I’ve already seen, SB and I headed to Macy’s. However, after walking five very crowded blocks, I decided I couldn’t take it. I hung out at home instead, surfing the net and packing my stuff for the weekend.

After the show ES came back uptown, and she, SB, SB’s husband, and I went out to dinner. Italian this time. Then ES and I had a quiet night in, watching the end of the Madonna concert (that woman is in shape, to say the least) and Top Chef, which was fun to watch with another fan.

Thursday morning we were up early to go to the parade. The weather was HORRIBLE. Cold and rainy. My hands were numb by the end. First we waited for the bus. Waited and waited and waited. Finally, we just walked it, which didn’t take too long, but of course it’d have been better if the weather were nicer.

We couldn’t get too close to the parade itself. You had to have special tickets to sit on the bleachers, which were on the east side of Central Park West. To get the the west side of the street would have meant going all the way down the 42nd Street and taking the S train, and coming back up. Ridiculous! But from where we were, we could see well enough.

This poor dog embodies how I felt during the parade:

We stayed for just half an hour, though it felt much longer. Trudged our way back to my apartment, then vegged for a good hour, watching the rest of the parade on TV.

The train out to New Jersey was cuh-RAY-zy. We got there just as our train arrived so I decided to bite the bullet and pay the surcharge onboard, but it was so crowded, the conductors never even collected our tickets.

For Thanksgiving dinner my parents and I had Mongolian hotpot, as opposed to turkey and such.

A warm and hearty meal.

Friday we hit the mall in the afternoon, and after that is when my mother and I had our fight. Fast forward to that night after we made up. I do have to say she reached out to me first, which pre-divorce she’d have NEVER done. So that’s a step forward.

Saturday I saw ES again, the only reason I stayed for so long. Otherwise I’d have left Saturday afternoon. While Thursday was rainy and horrible, the rest of the weekend was gorgeous. ES and I walked around Princeton, which is decked out now for Christmas. Then we met our from AY for dinner at this new place, the Witherspoon Grill. So good. I had the lobster pot pie. Yum!

It was pretty early when we finished, maybe 8:30, and so we got dessert at the Bent Spoon, a new and very popular “organic, artisan ice cream” place, which I think is just a fancy way of saying gelato.

ES got the sour cream and dark chocolate sorbet. Big thumb up from me. I got the vanilla, which was very good standard vanilla, and AY got the egg nog and bourbon, which both seemed full of booze.

After dessert, we headed to AY’s condo nearby and just hung out and gabbed gabbed gabbed till almost one in the morning.

Got back to my place yesterday afternoon. Another upside to the weekend is that now I’m ahead for NaNoWriMo. I’m currently at 46,468, which leaves 3,532 to spread out over the next four days, today included. Very doable.

This morning I was actually happy to be back at work, or at least socializing with people who are not my parents. My upcoming vacation in early December involves seeing a lot of family, including my mother who will also be in L.A., and I’m dreading it now as a result of this weekend.

But it’s just once a year, so I’ll just suck it up and be a good kid. Besides, the bulk of the time will be just me and my brother and that’s always chill.

13
Nov 06

A moderately chill weekend

Friday night YP and I caught our coworker, J.’s, opera performance, which was held in the basement of a church near where I live. I’m not an opera expert so I couldn’t give an assessment except to say that some voices were stronger than others, and some people were better actors than other. J. was quite hilarious. She played a Russian prince and really owned the part.

Saturday I was up fairly early to pack my stuff and go to the ‘rents’. Laundry, lunch, and NaNoWriMo. I also read quite a bit of Beauty Junkies, by Alex Kuczynski. The subtitle is The Industry, the Hype, the Beauties, and the Beasts.

Fascinating! Did you know that there would basically be no plastic surgery if not for World War I, the first war in which artillery of such force was used in such close contact with soldiers that it was the first time there were casualties like having half your face blown off.

Faces were reconstructed out of necessity, and as times became more peaceful and people got richer, reconstructive surgery began to include cosmetic surgery, surgery done for purely aesthetic reasons.

Then due to the changing healthcare landscare – insurance nightmares, HMOs taking over, etc. – plastic surgery became more appealing to doctors. Because cosmetic surgery is never covered by insurance, they don’t have to deal with those hassles, and instead get a huge wad of cash for an hour’s worth of work.

And that’s just a sampling. The author explores the Botox boom and accompanying dangers and horror stories (hello, it’s derived from poison!), celebrities and plastic surgery (there’s a reason Nicole Kidman seems so icy – her face barely moves), and L.A. vs New York (not much difference). Makes me embrace the lines on my forehead a little.

My mother annoyed me a bit over the weekend. In trying to share more about my life, I told her about YP and I going to J.’s opera. Instead of thinking oh great, you went out and did something interesting, she could only focus on the fact that I was doing a friend thing instead of a date thing. She gave a big sigh and said, “Don’t you want to meet anyone else?”

At that point I clammed up. I guess I could tell her that I’ve dating off and on for the past 18 months, and that I’ve dated two people exclusively, but I don’t know if this will reassure her or make her worry more and ask a million questions about how I met these people, and whether or not I know they’re okay, and exactly how far did I go with the two I dated exclusively (THERE’S a conversation I NEVER want to have). My bet is on the latter.

I just don’t have the energy to have a whole giant discussion about how I need a break from dating and want to concentrate on myself. It’s not like talking to my friends who understand immediately. It’s like, not only do I have to come to that realization myself and learn to grow and accept my life as it is – not only accept, but to learn to love it, which I’m finding I am, I have to try and convince my mother everything’s okay.

Maybe I’ll have the strength to do it eventually. Not right now. If I open it up now, I feel like I’m just going to be snappish and it’ll turn into an argument. So instead I bury my nose in my book.

Anyway, Sunday was more NaNoWriMo. After I came back, I got to see SB and Ellie for a bit. I must bore them with my, “Oh my God, she’s even taller now!” That little girl cracks my shit up. They had taken a trip to Las Vegas and saw the Cirque de Soleil. At one point out of nowhere, Ellie said something like, “Babwa [her grandmother, Barbara] put one hand here” – covering one ear – “and Poppy [her grandfather] put one hand here” – convering her other ear. “Circus too loud!” I was like, “What the hell is she talking about?”

They saw the Cirque with the guy dressed up like a baby (I forget the name). SB asked, “Was there a baby?” Ellie got a weirded out look on her face and was like, “Not a baby, a man baby.” I said, “That was weird, right?” For the next twenty minutes, she repeated, “Man baby. Weird. Man baby. Weird,” except she pronounced “weird” with something like a Boston accent. Just like flower. “Flowah,” she says.

Gloomy Monday.


09
Nov 06

ANTM & other stuff

HEREBE ANTM SPOILERS.

I’m so glad they kicked Anchal off. I liked her in the beginning but now think she’s a whiner. “Wah, I’m fat. Wah, I used to run.” So run! And stop eating ice cream! I run my butt off and try not to eat ice cream and I’m no model.

Hate Melrose, love the twins. I also like CariDee and really wish they hadn’t kicked off Brooke last week.

Sometimes I feel like Tyra’s critiques are BS. Like that stuff about worrying that CariDee didn’t listen to Jay or the instructors in that simulated skydiving thing. Seemed as though she just needed something negative to say and was grasping at straws.

I liked Gabrielle Reece and her feedback for the girls. But she’s definitely a poster woman for SPF protection.

~ ~ ~

Looking forward to upcoming plans.

Friday: Y. and I are going to our coworker’s concert. She’s the opera singer.
This weekend: Nothing exciting. Laundry and NaNoWriMo at the ‘rents’.
Monday: Y.’s comedy gig

Next weekend: Canstruction and the Race to Deliver
11/21 thru 11/23: ES crashing with me. I’d like to see the inflating of the Thanksgiving parade balloons Wednesday night. We may also go to the actual parade on Thursday.
Thanksgiving weekend: ‘rents’

12/1: Volunteer at the Small Press Center’s Book Fair
12/2: RoadRunners 4-mile holiday run
12/3: Volunteer at Book Fair

12/6-12/12: L.A. Woohoo! I’ll see my bro, my grandmother, my mom (who will be there at the same time), and my cousin, who’ll pop her first kid around Christmas.

12/16: Possibly see the Radio City Christmas Spectacular. Yes, you read that right. But it’s more for the group outing experience with my aunt, mom, and cousins.

Okay, that’s enough OCD planning.


06
Nov 06

Writing and running

This weekend was all about NaNoWriMo and the NYC marathon.

As per my trusty NaNoWriMo word counter to the right, I’m currently at 10,926, putting me about 2,000 words ahead of schedule. Of course cranking out the words during the week is tough with the job and all, but this weekend it was easy.

On Saturday I got in my word quota by about 11:30, having gotten up at 7. I didn’t work continuously for four and a half hours. I tend to write in bursts, interspersed with some staring-into-space-and-thinking, which looks a lot like doing nothing, and pure procrastination. An example of the latter:

nanowrimo%20triptych.jpg

The pretentious title I came up with for this concoction is “NaNoWriMo Triptych: Fuel, Tool, Inspiration.”

By the time I finished, I needed to get out of the apartment so I checked out the exhibits at Asia Society. They were okay. I took a bunch of pictures before being told by the security guard that I wasn’t allowed. Whoops.

I wanted to check out the Picasso and American Art exhibit at the Whitney, but there was a line out the door. Next time.

Sunday took me a little longer to get my word count in since I also needed to clean my apartment and see the marathon. I went out at about 12:30, first to 1st Avenue which, on the Upper East Side, marks miles 17, 18, and 19. I live slightly west of mile 17.5. I climbed onto a lamppost to take some pictures.

nyc%20marathon%202006_1st%20ave.jpg

Hello, guy in red.

Next I hoofed it to Central Park, which marks miles 23, 24, 25, and 26. I stood at about mile 24.

nyc%20marathon%202006_central%20park.jpg

I love the runners against the fall foliage.

Last year I watched at the same spot but a couple of hours later, so it was a different population. Some of the participants looked like they had never run before, or had gotten up that morning and thought, Think I’ll run the marathon today. But I shouldn’t knock them because there they had it to mile 24.

I’m determined to run the race next year. I thought completing 9 RoadRunners races before November 2007 would qualify me, but I read that incorrectly. I would have had to do 9 races by the end of 2006. Obviously that’s not gonna happen.

Another option for guaranteed entry is to do it for charity, which is what I should have done this year. Team Fox, of the Michael J. Fox Foundation for Parkinson’s Research, strikes a chord with me. Plus I like the name – Team Fox! Like we’re all fighter jets or something.

Somehow I hurt my leg while I was cleaning. I must have been in a weird position and stretched too far to attack a dust bunny. So now I’m limping around like I ran the marathon. Whatta joke.


30
Oct 06

Quiet weekend

windy day

Friday was lazy. I took advantage of my company’s last half-day Friday and went home and sat on my butt. At least I picked up my laundry, put it away, and read a lot of I Know This Much Is True.

Saturday I had plans to go to the Halloween dog parade in Tompkins Square Park as well as some scare-a-licious events in Grand Central. But 1) the dog parade was rained out – although by early afternoon the weather had turned beautiful – and postponed to Sunday, and 2) the Grand Central stuff was on Sunday too. Instead on Saturday was “Tokyo Fiesta.” Been there, done that.

The day wasn’t a total loss. I picked up some Get Gorgeous tea, which is chock-full of antioxidants that will supposedly slow the aging process. The instructions say 3 to 4 cups a day. If I ingest that much, at least the sun won’t age me because I’ll be inside all day going to the bathroom.

Also got some Bumble & Bumble Creme de Coco conditioner. They had only the small 8 oz size and the gigantour 1 liter pump. I went for the 1 liter since I like the stuff.

Sunday I was off to NJ for my dad’s birthday. I totally forgot about daylight savings time ending and woke up wondering why my cable box was an hour early and how I could fix it. My ‘rents and I did the usual, the mall and then dinner at Penang.

The leaves have pretty much all changed. I had wanted to take a walk and take some pictures, but it was extremely windy and cold. Too bad.

NaNoWriMo starts on Wednesday. Yay! I figured out which novel I want to tackle, one I’ve been thinking about for YEARS. Sunday, appropriately enough, is the NYC marathon. I’m sad I’m not running in it but looking forward to cheering other people on and getting some cool pix.


23
Oct 06

An activity-filled weekend

The train ride on Friday felt fast. I read my book and listened to my iPod, which unfortunately ran out of juice just a couple of hours into the trip.

People actually abided by the quiet car rules, though a few snickered and said they felt like they were in grade school when the announcement came on about no cell phone use or extended conversations. Then go to another car, beeyotch. You have the whole rest of the train to choose from.

~ ~ ~

“Sometimes I like to brag, sometimes I’m soft-spoken / When I’m in Holland I eat the pannenkoeken.” The Beastie Boys, Super Disco Breakin’

I got to South Station around 4 and walked over to ES’s workplace. Hung out for a bit since she still had some work to finish. Then we were off to get groceries for the pannenkoeken, or Dutch pancakes, that her roommate M, who is from the Netherlands, was sweet enough to offer to make for us.

But it was M’s last day at work – she is moving to Spain in a week – and so of course the poor girl was caught up with stuff till late. ES and her other roommate M2 were fine with waiting. I, on the other hand, snacked for a good three hours before M came home.

The pannenkoeken were delish: I had one with bacon and apples, and half of one with edam cheese. The first time I had Dutch panckes was during my and ES’s trip to Amsterdam many moons ago. So between the pancake dinner, the rain, and the company, I kind of felt like I was back in Holland.

~ ~ ~

“I’ve learned there are three things you don’t discuss with people: religion, politics and the Great Pumpkin.” Linus, It’s the Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown


The next day we had a leisurely morning before heading out to go to the

Life Is Good pumpkin festival. Lots of people, lots of pumpkins. I didn’t realize this but pumpkin guts stink. Or at least I think it was the pumpkin guts. Either that or wet dog.

For some reason ES and I kept losing each other. We’d each get caught up in taking pictures and then look up and the other one would have vanished into the crowd. Luckily we had our cell phones, though my battery was quickly running out at the end.

Later in the evening we met up with IS, who is back from Prague. Yay! It’s been a couple of years since I last saw her, but it was like no time had passed.

After another run through the now-lit jack o’ lanterns, we grabbed a late Greek dinner on Newbury Street, then headed back to ES’s place and spent the rest of the night entertaining ourselves with ES’s iPhotoBooth. We are easily amused.

Sunday was the Head of the Charles, my first time there, despite my three-year stint in Beanton in the mid-’90s. Lots of people, lots of boats.

The weather was gorgeous but it was hot/cold/hot/cold, depending on if we were in the sun and if there was wind. Besides the racing there were booths with giveaways – btw, Kashi bars are DISGUSTING – and junk food. (Hot dogs and fries – yay!)

Then it was time for me to go home. The train ride back felt much longer although I slept for a good part of it. I felt a little sad going from being surrounded by friends to being by myself again, but I was happy to be back in NYC, seeing that familiar skyline, and in my own place.


15
Oct 06

Lovely low-key weekend

When will my complexion settle down? I have a pimple on my chin and mad wrinkles on my forehead. Are you a teenager or a 34-year old? Make up your mind, face!

Besides dealing with skin issues, I had a fine little lowkey weekend. My massage Friday night was very nice. The oil my masseuse used smelled excellent, sage and eucaplytus, I believe, though I could have picked two mintier ones, a grapefruity one, or one that was rosy (while I like roses in person, rose-scented items make me think of little old ladies).

She could totally tell where my problem areas were: behind my right shoulderblade – all that mousing – and between my neck and shoulder on my left side, ie, where I carry my bag. When she kneaded that area by my right shoulderblade, it KILLED, though in a good way, but on my left it just felt good. Guess it’s really tight over there on the right.

I swear I think she pushed all my cold toxins to the surface because the bug that’s been brewing all week has finally come to a head. Coughing, sneezing, runny nose, though I feel better overall.

How I look on the other hand. I went to Sak’s to ask about these samples I received. The actual items are mucho dinero – like $200 for a little pot of night cream. No thanks! I did manage to wrangle some more free samples out of them, and for some reason she gave me a boatload for dark undereye circles. I’m sick! I wanted to shout. I don’t always look like this!

Saturday morning I was up early to help my friend snap some photos for promo materials for his next comedy gig. Took a lot – let’s hope some are usable.

I practiced using the “continuous” mode for the first time. Oh my God, so much fun. I tried it several times with him riding down the sidewalk on his skateboard. Flipping through the pictures quickly was like watching a little movie. I’ll have to find another excuse to use it again.

Did my beauty product run that afternoon. Besides Sak’s I hit Barney’s, and then I walked home. A beautiful but chilly day. I rested at my place for a bit before heading back out that evening to attend a concert one of my coworkers was performing in and had organized.

The performance was up near my alma mater so you’d think I’d know how to get there. But somehow I got on the wrong train and ended up in Harlem. Same street number, different avenue. I looked up from my book very confused and actually thought they had changed the name of the stop.

In the end I got to where I needed to go, and realized after that instead of a bus and a train, I could have taken one bus pretty much directly. Duh.

It was COLD that night. I had on a turtleneck, a track jacket, and a regular jacket. With my train mishap, I was a few minutes late and missed my coworker’s performance, but I’ve heard her sing before, and she was the only one I missed.

It was nice to get out and do something different. I don’t make it a habit of listening to classical music or opera, so it was good to expose myself to that. Plus I’m proud of myself for going even though I had no one to go with. I could have easily made an excuse about feeling sick and not wanting to go by myself, and just have stayed home and watched some stupid TV. But in going, I got out of the house, got some culture, and showed support to my friend and the arts. Woohoo!

Today was chore/errand day:

  • balanced my checkbook
  • switched my summer and fall/winter clothes
  • got some Chinese medicine from Chinatown (licorice tablets for my itchy throat, the only thing that’s ever worked for me; had to hit four herbal shops to find it)
  • picked up Asian groceries
  • checked out Kiehl’s (didn’t buy, must show some resistance)
  • bought some regular groceries
  • cooked this beef/vegetable/curry concoction that looks gross but tastes good and will last me another two or three days

I am also tearing through this latest issue of Granta. I think I was out of practice with reading. Now that I’ve fallen back in the habit, I feel like I’m reading faster. Or maybe now I’m just used to doing it in spare moments throughout the day – waiting for the train, on the train, a few minutes here and there at work – as well as large chunks in the early morning and evening. Now I just need to fall back into the habit of writing again too.

I realized only recently that I’m learning to live alone again. Not on my own, of course I know how to do that. I thought the only thing I had to relearn was dating, but what’s more important is knowing how to live alone well and fully, not waiting for the next Big Love to come along, or waiting for the next Big Anything.

You spend all your time waiting for the next Big Whatever, you miss all the Smaller but Still Important Whatevers that are right in front of your face.

Your pimply, wrinkly face. :)


09
Oct 06

I love this book: Live Alone and Like It

Thanks to Anonymous Writer for posting about Live Alone and Like It back in September. I’d not have heard of it otherwise.

I’ve only just started reading it and already love it. The book was published in 1936 so it’s old-fashioned in some ways (like about S-E-X), but it’s also surprisingly timely.

I especially like the case examples, like pathetic Miss Whomever who sits around waiting for a husband, unlike her single counterparts who relish their independence, traveling and changing the world.

If I were a case study, how would I read?

Miss W. is a divorced 34-year old who lives in a charming one-bedroom in a lovely section of Manhattan. Having spent much of her young adulthood dedicating herself to one man and his family, she is suddenly on her own again.

But unlike herself at 20, she can now afford the finer things in life. Exquisite meals, theatre tickets, and trips to exotic locales around the world.

Without familial obligations, she now has time to pursue her dreams and to better herself in ways she has always wanted. While she makes do as a marketer for a large corporation, her true career is that of a writer.

As a married woman, time spent writing was seen as time not spent with family, and now, living alone, she can make her own schedule, writing as much or as little (preferably the former) as she wants.

She has also always enjoyed running, and a lifelong goal has been to run a marathon. In between her day job and bouts of writing, she trains and racks up the number of required races to be able to run next year.

She admits that at times she is a solitary being, and has chosen as her favorite activities, two very solitary pursuits. So she must remind herself to engage in more social events as well.

These can be connected to her interests, such as the NY Road Runners Club, writing classes, and volunteering for such literary institutions as the Asian American Writers’ Workshop or the Small Press Center.

Of course Miss W. is lonely at times, but she tries not to dwell too long on this. Dwelling for too long does nothing to alleviate these feelings. Nor does she enter social situations with expectations of meeting that special someone. If she did, no matter how fun-filled the event, she’d be disappointed if these expectations were not met.

At times she wishes her circle of confidantes were closer, but having friends and family all over the country gives her the excuse to travel. Boston, Washington DC, and Los Angeles are all places she visits regularly.

She can’t forget the dear friends who *are* near her. Not only are they all wonderful conversationalists, their activities are hers. She loves “tagging along” on their performances, literary activities, and children’s adventures (even better: she’s free to take leave when the adventures morph into mis-adventures).

She tries to ascribe to the philosophy of why focus on the negative when there’s so much positive to enjoy?

Of course this would be my case study at my best. And so all I can do is strive to do and be my best. :)

Some bon mots from the book:

Never, never, never let yourself feel that anybody ought to do anything for you. Once you become a duty you also become a nuisance. Be surprised and pleased, if you like, at gifts, invitations, and other attentions. Or, better still, take them casually. But don’t let anyone suspect if you miss them.

Remember that nothing is so damaging to a self-esteem as waiting for a telephone or door-bell that doesn’t ring.

The first rule is to have several passionate interests. . . .You should have at least one that keeps you busy at home and another that takes you out. Just dabbling in them isn’t enough, either. They will not be really efficacious until you’re the kind of enthusiast who will stay home to follow the first type in spite of a grand invitation, or go out and follow the second in spite of wind, sleet, or rain.

* * *

My weekend at my parents’ was pretty uneventful. But I got to do laundry and have a run on Saturday in what is basically farmland. Yesterday I ran in the city.

I think I’m coming down with something. During my jog on Sunday, my legs felt achy and not in a I-just-had-a-good-workout kind of way. I was so tired that night I went to bed at 9, then kept waking up feeling hot. Also had a headache. This morning my throat hurt and I’ve felt yucky all day. Not congested though.

I hate getting sick. The last full-fledged cold I had was in February 2005. In November I had a little sumpin but it never developed. Hopefully I can fight this one off.

So I postponed my class. It was to start tomorrow and I decided to take the one in February instead. I just don’t feel like dealing with running into the Boy between our classes, or worrying about running into him. It would be different if we were friends.

I opted for the “master” level, which is a better fit for me. Watch: he’ll decide to do a repeat and show up in my class. But by February I’ll probably be more ready to handle it. Hopefully.

Besides, I’m a little tired of my essays. After reading Stephen King’s On Writing, I feel inspired about trying fiction again. November is NaNoWriMo, or National Novel Writing Month. Yay! Though I’m not sure what my novel will be about. I’ll have to tap into my “ideas” spreadsheet.


30
Sep 06

Neighbors

Now that I’ve been living in my place for almost 18 months, I’ve developed a pleasant yet distant rapport with some of my neighbors.

Pleasant yet distant is how I like it. Let’s say hello and smile, and even make little comments about the ongoing mouse problem on the second and third floors (yikes!), but that’s enough. We all have our own lives. So of course I’m freaked out by both the overly friendly and the overtly bitchy.

Case in point: the guy across the hall. He moved in over the summer, replacing the distant-yet-pleasant, younger, cuter guy who lived there. The new guy is probably in his early 40s, and looked way too pleased to bump into me shortly after he moved in.

“Oh!” he said as though delighted to find a $10 in an old pair of pants. “Hi!” Now whenever we run into each other, he not only has to say hello, he has to stop dead in his tracks, make eye contact for way longer than he needs to, and not just say hello but ask what’s new, how I’m doing, how’s it going.

I guess he has a thing for me, or a thing for Asian women, as I witnessed him and a quite young-looking Asian ladyfriend leave his apartment one hot Sunday morning.

Yuck-o. Not for me.

On the other end of the spectrum, Friday I let in this woman, perhaps in her 40s, dishwater blond hair. The bitch didn’t even look at me, let alone thank me as I opened the door for her. I was so flabbergasted, I just stared at her. No eye contact, nothing. Unbelievable.

Why can’t everyone be like the nice Israeli couple on the second floor? The woman is semi-friendly while the guy always says hello but not in a gooey way, and plus he’s hot.

Or the older cowboy boot wearing gentleman who lives above me? True, sometimes I wish he wouldn’t wear those boots while walking back and forth over my head, but whenever I see him, he’s very polite but not creepy.

Or even my next door neighbor who has noisy and vigorous sex with his girlfriend whenever they’re home? I prefer not to hear the groans and grunts, especially at this date-less stage in the game, but they’re always nice when I run into them.

* * *

Speaking of date-less, I had a loser, no plans weekend. I mean, it wasn’t a total loss. I had a good run yesterday, and my apartment is spic and span. Also, I went to Chinatown to get some groceries and ended up running onto the tail end of some early Mid-Autumn Moon Festival activities.

And although I trashed MySpace, I gave in and made a profile. I needed one anyway to look at S.’s and my brother’s blogs, so I beefed up the empty one I had set up.

I’ve also done searches on people from the past. I thought I found a girl I was friends with back in elementary school, and was dismayed to discover that she is now a former drug addict living in Texas.

This was strange to me since the last time I talked to her, which was early in college, she was on her way to dental school. So I did a Google search, and I think the person on MySpace just has the same name and happens to be around the same age, and that my old friend is indeed a dentist either in Indiana or South Carolina, and not a crackwhore in the southwest.

Interesting what you can find on the web.