rant and/or rave

Requirement: BE FUN

I’ve been regularly perusing the SF job listings. This one caught my eye at first, but then upon closer inspection, it seemed horrible:

About you
* Lives to write; writes to live. You know who you are. Pencils down.

Okay, yes, that’s me.

* Has a fire in the belly. Walks through walls. Takes no prisoners. In a word: driven. Even when no one is watching. Especially then.

These sentences sum up someone I would really really hate.

* Social connector. You are the hub of your social world. You know everyone. Everyone knows you. You are the Mayor. The fun one. Diplomatic, too.

As YP put it, am I the Mayor of Fun Town? More like the Treasurer of Cynical-ville, of Leave-Me-Alone-burg, of People-Are-So-Annoying-Capital-City.

* Have more than a few years of post-graduate professional experience (existing managers have 5 to 15 years).

YES! Yay!

Other fun requirements:
* 4-year college degree
* Currently residing or open to relocating to the North Bay
* Experience with social networking, guerilla marketing tactics, and event planning

What makes these “fun” requirements? Fun requirements would be has big clown feet, or can juggle, or does a really good Fat Albert imitation. You know they put down “requirements” and thought, Oh no, the cool kids and hipsters will think we’re the man! Better stick “fun” in front of it.

Needless to say, I won’t apply. That’s what I get for looking in the marketing section.

news / rant and/or rave — Comments Off
27
Jul 09

Yoshi and the Real Girl

larsandtherealgirl2d

In this weekend’s New York Times magazine, there was an article about two dimensional love in Japan.

Now I don’t mean teenaged girl love for that Corey Haim Tiger Beat poster, or even adolescent boy love for the Hustler centerfold. I mean thirty-something men “in love” with body pillows decaled with images of pre-pubescent, female anime characters.

There’s one 37-year old dude who carries around his “girlfriend” (his words) wherever he goes – restaurants, driving, the karaoke bar. There’s another guy who espouses the joys of non-monogramy with his variety of cushiony companions. Finally, there’s someone who is actually, um, intimate with his literal love objects.

I’m not sure what I find more disturbing: the fact that these are synthetic sweethearts, or that they are embossed with images of very young girls.

I think that second thing.

Are these men who get off on images of 10-year olds just a few steps away from moving onto the real thing?

Recently I had a conversation with a friend about whether just looking at child pornography was wrong. Well, of course it is, you’d think. Although maybe technically that person isn’t hurting anyone, they are still participating and supporting the hurting of whomever is in whatever they are looking at. But I think we also all assume that they are thisclose to actually going out and molesting a kid themselves.

On the other hand, what about people who are into other violent kinks? Are they necessarily going to go out there and enact that kink against someone unwilling?

And what if the image of the 10 to 12-year old is a cartoon? In that case, no one is really being exploited.

THEN AGAIN, that cartoon image is a representation, albeit incorrect, of real preteens, just like cartoon women with ginormous breasts and no body fat may exploit real women, at least to those who don’t know the different between a picture and reality, or racist cartoons exploit whomever they are targeting.

Hmm.

Either way, I feel kinda bad for that Nisan guy. He looks incredibly sad and pathetic in the picture accompanying the article. MB had another take: in Japan there’s not much therapy. It’s not like the US when people, myself included, go on and on about their problems. In Japanese culture you’re pretty much left alone to get through whatever troubles you might be having. So the body pillow is a way for this guy to get through his troubles (ie, a girlfriend recently dumping him), and people just let it go.

The guy does say of course most men into this 2D stuff would prefer real women, but that they feel like no women want them. Or they’re too scared to find out.

Is this really so different from a teenager kissing her poster of John Taylor (not that I ever did that, cough), or a little kid who is inseparable from his favorite stuffed toy? I guess the difference is the teenager and little kid grow out of it.

rant and/or rave / work — 2 Comments
18
Jul 09

Bitch eat bitch world

I applied for my first job in San Francisco. It’s for a medical association and involves editing, website work, and event planning. Seems right up my alley though it pays much less than my current job (like less than half). But a) at this point I’ll take anything, b) it has good benefits plus 401K, and c) with the stress of a move and living in a new city, an easy job would be ideal.

I don’t know how open they’ll be to possibly interviewing me when I’m there next month, and if they believe I will actually move in early September. But it may take a couple of weeks for them to even get to my resume, and who knows how long the whole process would take, if they’re even interested that is.

I’m pretty much over the disappointment of not being able to work remotely. Now I’m in the bitter phase. I can’t help but think of the rejection of my application as, well, a rejection, and that if they truly valued me, they’d keep me on. Then a certain individual totally pissed me off. She has this habit of not addressing me directly in email; rather she asks the other person if I know something or need something instead of asking me directly. She refers to me in the third person to tell people they can contact me for something.

And yesterday, I sent her an email asking her for something specific, cc’ing my boss. She came back with a question, and no, she didn’t ask me. She asked my boss, and completely ignored me. Even if she thought I didn’t have the answer, she could have at least addressed me, or left me out of the email chain altogether.

And someone else who annoyed me was this pissant little intern we have here for the summer. I had at first pegged her as one of those overly ambitious types, setting up unnecessary meetings to “network,” and blowing her little projects out of proportion. We had lunch, and I temporarily changed my mind, thinking she was pretty nice. I showed her how to set up something in Sharepoint – well, I set it up for her, made from a template I had created long ago – and told her she could customize it.

From our conversation, I knew she didn’t know shit about Sharepoint or HTML, but the next day, she was showing the site to her boss, whose office incidentally is right next to mine, and her boss said, “Wow, you set this up! This looks great!” and the pissant little intern did not correct her but took the credit.

My immediate reaction was, “What the fuck?” Then I checked the site to see if she had changed it: a big fat no.

Wow, people, I guess you don’t want my help with things.

I have to say I’ve only experienced this with female co-workers: the back biting, the passive aggressive attitude, the stealing and competitiveness. In the decade I’ve worked at this company, it’s been women women women who have given me grief. And it’s so retarded because I’m not even ambitious. I just want credit for the work I’ve done.

I’m starting to not feel so bad about possibly leaving.

moving / rant and/or rave — 4 Comments
13
Jul 09

What I won’t miss about New York

Rats. Lots and lots of rats. Like in what is supposed to be the secure garbage “cage” in front of the building next door, squealing and squeaking and jumping all over each other as I walk by.

No, I will not miss that about New York.

And do not tell me San Francisco has rats too.

library school london / london / rant and/or rave / travel — Comments Off
23
Jun 09

Two things I forgot

From yesterday.

1) Remember that woman I wrote about who’s not a student but very involved with academic journals? Well, she was in fine form yesterday. While we were at ProQuest, she completely took over the question and answer portion of the presentation.

First she asked a long drawn-out question that wasn’t really a question but a comment. The presenters responded, then she counter-responded, back and forth, till it was basically like her own personal meeting the rest of us were forced to listen to. Of course the ProQuest people were too polite to say anything.

Finally Anthony interrupted and said, “Does anyone else have any questions?” and of course someone did.

That woman gets on my nerves. She has this snotty look on her face all the time and walks around like a princess. During lunch when she went to get some fruit, she asked, at large, “What are these?” without looking at anyone but with an attitude like she expected everyone to answer.

2) While we were at the pub yesterday in Cambridge, we were sitting next to these young people, probably students, from the area. There was an Asian woman who was really loud, and at one point she said, “Idaho? That’s not a real place, is it?”

Cambridge – isn’t that in Massachusetts?

news / rant and/or rave / weekends — 5 Comments
02
Feb 09

Lazy, productive, newsy, douchey

The weekend was both lazy and productive.

Both Friday and Saturday MB and I had plans to see Taken, that new Liam Neeson movie, but we were overcome with laziness and ended up staying in and watching stuff on Hulu. Easy to do when it’s freezing outside.

Saturday I managed to get up before 9 to do some homework and laundry, and then just spent the afternoon hanging out till we went out for a late lunch around 3 at Le French Diner. Risotto with vegetables and cheese, yum! Also very filling. I can never eat more than half.

Sunday I got up relatively early again. Last minute homework before class at 1. That day’s session was more informative than the others have been, but the professor still let us out way early.

Which I didn’t mind because it was gorgeous out! Like spring. During class MB had texted me that he was in Washington Square Park so I met up with him there. He had his ukelele. Of course people look as he’s playing, but not as much as you’d think. The park was full of musicians busking or just noodling. One old dude took a picture of MB – and by association, me – without even asking. I mean, I do too, but at least I try to hide it.

I couldn’t get enough of the news this weekend, for some reason. Maybe my Thursday class is making me hyper aware.

Those octuplets. People say the story started out “heart-warming” (and I guess “heart-warming” now means “woman who breeds like dog”). Of course you imagine some couple who has tried for years to have kids, and after fertility treatments, finally has eight little miracles!

But it turns out that the woman is only 33, and she ALREADY HAS SIX KIDS. What the – ? Also, she’s not married, and lives with her parents. What doctor thought it was okay to implant EIGHT embryos into a young, healthy single woman with six kids?

And when the father says he’s thinking about returning to his native Iraq, you know things have got to be bad.

Peanut recall. I had stuff in my cabinet on that list! The Crunchy Peanut Butter Clif Bars. Wah, in the garbage.

Michael Phelps caught smoking a giant bong. Not that I have anything against weed but Michael, you must have a nice house – do it in private! Jeez. Despite all his achievements, he seems like such a douchebag.

And on that note, what’s the female equivalent of a douchebag? I think we all know about that site, Hot Chicks with Douchebags, but the problem I have with that is that a lot of those “hot chicks” seem like skanks to me.

So why not “skank” as the female equivalent of douchebag? Cuz I think that’s just a subset. There’s also that whole Sex and the City wannabe crowd, many of whom we saw at Penn Station one night when we came back from my parents. Girls in too high shoes, too short dresses, skinny jeans, four in a row, walking arm in arm. “Oh my God, we’re just like SATC!”

Douchettes maybe? I’ll have to think about that.

library / rant and/or rave — Comments Off
30
Jan 09

Leveraging verbal communication for educational session utilization

So I’ve switched up my classes a bit.

Originally I was signed up for Human Information Behavior, the one that met on Wednesdays at 3:30. Well, this past Wednesday rolled around, and I had every intention of going, but then it was 1, and suddenly I really really didn’t want to go. Partly I hated the rushed feeling of chopping my day short, and partly it was imagining walking back into that room with ~25 students sitting in a stupid circle, and going over the incredibly boring readings we were assigned.

The readings were basically user studies, from literature review to methodology to conclusions (well, sometimes). Typical of academic research papers, and what we would be expected to replicate in our group (yuck) projects. And it all left me with a bad feeling. Maybe because the papers we read were so boring, or because of the group aspect. Or maybe because I didn’t know anyone in that class, and occuring in the afternoon, it had a different vibe than a night class, in which you know everyone has a full-time job.

Or I’m just lazy. Whatever the reason, that Wednesday afternoon I decided to drop that class and pick up another, which is on Thursday nights.

In a way this class is similar to Wednesday’s: it’s more theoretical, specifically about how media and the design of things shape and affect our lives. It’s pretty loosey-goosey – our only assignment is a project on basically anything we want – and there are just eight people in the class. But I think it will at least be interesting, and a good contrast to my other two more pragmatic classes.

I am not 100% clear on what the project is – I think basically it’s a designing a research study on some hypothesis. Initially I thought maybe I’d do something on how certain advertising affects the behavior of a certain part of the population, or maybe something about celebritydom and how though people may snark about celebrities, they still talk about them.

Then it occured to me that maybe I could do something on corp speak, and how it shapes the corporate environment, or vice versa.

When I started at my company as a secretary, I didn’t know corp speak. I’d hear the managers talking – “We can leverage learnings from that initiative to create synergies with key stakeholders” – and think, What the hell are they talking about? The language created a division between those in the club (managers) and those outside (secretaries).

But then I got promoted and started going to more and more meetings (the phenomenon of meetings could be a research topic too), and slowly started to learn this new language. Now a few years later, I’m totally fluent.

When I speak of it, I’m very conscious of it, and can toggle back and forth between corp speak and regular English – though sometimes unconsciously I bring it home. MB hates it when I say, “I reached out to that person,” instead of just “I talked to him,” or “I emailed him.” I wonder if other people are as conscious of it too.

It’s not just overblown words that don’t mean anything, but cliched catch phrases like, “At the end of the day,” and “Walk the walk and talk the talk.” Another one I hate is using “utilize” instead of just, well, “use.” And capitalizing things that don’t need to be capitalized.

But I know that people listen more when I talk corp speak; I’m taken more seriously. And as a communications person, I have to use it all the time.

I’m not sure what kind of study I could do. I’ll have to think about it more.

There is one guy in the class who’s super annoying. He wears a scarf indoors and kept dropping names like Nietzsche and Kierkegaard and Hegel. Okay, we get it, you’re fucking smart. Or at least you think you’re smart. Then he kept talking about despair and suffering and angst. Why do I have a feeling that this guy has no idea what real suffering is?

We also talked about the idea of heroes, and the teacher asked if we had any, and I realized I don’t really. I mean, there are people I admire, like Madeleine L’Engle and Michael Chabon, but I wouldn’t call them my heroes. The only ones I’d consider my heroes are people who are close to me, who rose out of extenuating circumstances, not unscathed but strong and whole, and who, despite the past, face each day with joy.

rant and/or rave / year-end retrospects — 1 Comment
01
Jan 09

2008: The year in retrospect

First off, happy new year, everyone! MB and I spent the evening at P*ong, which was what we did last year. Like last year, we sat at the bar and Pichet Ong was there, acting as host, server, and coat getter. He seems really nice and the food was incredible. Our favorites were the kobacho squash coconut soup, the citrus cured char, the braised wagyu beef short rib, and the warm date pudding. Also the bread and parmesan/olive oil spread were something I could definitely live on.

Now 2008. A lot happened. The last time I had this much change was back in 2005: separation, divorce, moving into the city and living on my own again for the first time, well, ever (living in a dorm and/or with roommates doesn’t count). Then it was two years of quiet – I got used to my new life, I thought about stuff, made some decisions, made some mistakes.

Then towards the latter half last year, a few things happened. I decided that I wanted a real relationship, not just a fling; I decided to go for library school and therefore a career change; and I met MB. Effort and luck.

This year: I started library school (which I can’t believe has only been a year), I moved in with MB, and I got a new job. But not only that, I thought long and hard about my jealousy and insecurity, the fact that I’m not used to being in a relationship based on unconditional love, that I’ve had to or thought I had to act a certain way to earn love, and that I automatically compare myself to others.

This year I learned to believe in unconditional love, in speaking up immediately instead of letting something fester, and to try and stop comparing myself to others. It’s not a quick fix. I have to keep remindng myself of these things, and practice them like any new exercise.

I don’t really have any resolutions for 2009. I kind of hate the idea – all that pressure and then a sense of failure if you don’t keep them up. I know what I’d like to do: lose five pounds, start running outside again, finish my memoir once and for all. Totally doable but I refuse to call them new year resoluations – they are simply things I want to get done, regardless of timeframe.

Also I want to worry less and do more. I want to accept my wrinkles. People claim they don’t see anything, but the fine lines on my foreheads and cheeks are like Grand Canyon fissures to me. I’ll do what I can to be healthy, and will try to stop fretting over the inevitable.

And I vow to eat more fiber. I’m sure you all wanted to know that one.

Happy New Year!

rant and/or rave / tcob — 2 Comments
24
Dec 08

Left out in the cold

So MB and I were supposed to hear Les Paul play at the Iridium on Monday. We had tickets for the 10 o’clock show and got to the place around 9:30. There was a line down the block, but we weren’t worried since that was how it was at the Blue Note for Bela Fleck, and the line seemed to be moving quickly.

Then not so quickly. It kept stopping and moving a little, till finally we were out there almost an hour. It was cold, and then the wind would blow, and we could feel ourselves die inside a little. When we finally got to the door, we were told that the club had oversold, and there was no room for anyone, even those with us with tickets.

The door guy was apologetic, but the guy inside the club was a jerk. He hollered at this one woman, “I didn’t sell the tickets so don’t yell at *me*!” and slammed the door in her face. Nice way to treat your customers.

We were disappointed, but we only had to come up from downtown. The guy behind us had driven in from Philadelphia.

Hope we get our money back.

~ ~ ~

In other news, I had my annual physical yesterday. Really I wanted a new Allegra prescription and that was the way to get it. But then my doctor gave me only a two month supply! GRRR!!! Luckily I only need to take the allergy medicine every other day so I can stretch it out a bit.

I had to fast since she was doing a cholesterol test. You’d think with a 10 AM appointment, it wouldn’t be so bad, but by the time she saw me – about half an hour late – I was DYING. I’m one of those people who needs to ingest coffee and a little breakfast the minute I roll out of bed. I also need to eat every 3 to 4 hours or else I get cranky.

After my exam, I rushed out and inhaled a tuna bagel and cup of coffee (mmm, tuna and coffee perfect together), and I felt amazingly better afterwards.

Today seems to be a bit warmer but it’s rainy. Hopefully tomorrow won’t be bad when we got out to New Jersey.

holidays / rant and/or rave — Comments Off
19
Dec 08

Rambly Friday

Supposedly there’ll be a big snowstorm today. It’s already started to come down a little. Although I feel like something’s wrong if it doesn’t snow during winter, I still don’t like it. It’s cold and miserable and slippery. Deceptive slush lakes that look like frozen over puddles form at the edge of curbs, and then I step in them at least once.

Today is a nothing day here at work. It’s the holiday “open house,” which means people bring in their kids to have their pictures taken with Santa, and the CEO goes to the different buildings and lets people shake his hand. In the almost-10 years I’ve been here, I’ve never done it.

I sort of miss our big extravaganza holiday parties. It would be at a nearby hotel and would last all day with free eats and drinks. You could go with people you actually liked and not see anyone else you knew the whole time. But the parties were only fun if you had a pal to go with, like when YP worked here and my friend Marilyn who was fired for being a bitter bitch, which she really was. But she was still fun.

Last night MB and I went to hear Bela Fleck and the Flecktones. Fleck plays “jazz banjo” and is backed by an incredible bass player and “Futureman,” who plays drums and a “Drumitar,” which MB and I guessed was actually a keytar with a drum machine stuck to it with lots of electric tape. They were really good.

I’m serious! And popular too since the place was packed to the gills. We were squashed at one end of a table. Luckily the people next to us, this 50ish couple, were pretty nice, but this other couple, 20ish, on our other side, were annoying. They were on a higher part of the floor and so were essentially right above us, and kept talking at top volume throughout the performance. I was farther away so I just vaguely heard them, but it got so bad MB had to ask them to be quiet. Then he said the guy was all douchebaggy and just made a “Whatever!” face and didn’t apologize.
I guessed he was a douchebag even before that. He looked a banker type and was good-looking, but in an overly groomed way, and the girl said something like, “My friend lives in some bumblefuck town in Louisiana,” and I guess he was from Louisiana? cuz suddenly he was like, “So are you saying I’m from some bumblefuck town? Are you? Are you?” The girl was like, “Well, anyway, she goes to Tulane.”

~ ~ ~

On another note, I believe I’ve written about jealousy before and how I’m trying to get over it, and although my feelings don’t make sense and have no basis in reality, MB has been really nice about reassuring me.

Usually I don’t like Cary Tennis’ advice. He meanders and says weird things. But I really like what he has to say to this woman. She thinks her husband prefers his woman friend to her, and with good reason: he says why can’t you be more like X sometimes, and the woman often acts cold to her. Cary responds (my emphasis):

Your husband has not shown much tact or understanding. . . .Your feelings are hurt. That’s not a right thing or a wrong thing; it’s not like you should be smarter so your feelings wouldn’t be hurt. . . .They get hurt no matter how smart you are. So husbands should respond to that. Maybe he thinks if he responds to that by reassuring you or being kinder to you or showing you that you are the most important person in his life that he is vindicating your hurt feelings. Well, so what? . . . .In any relationship, feelings are going to get hurt. . . .It’s silly to stand back and be cold and accusing when we could just as easily be warm and loving. We sometimes feel if we are warm and loving that we are giving in somehow. So I would say to the husband, give in already. Your wife is going to have certain feelings that don’t make sense to you. That doesn’t mean her feelings aren’t important. She’s hurt by your very friendly feelings toward this woman. It makes her feel insecure. So reassure her. Let her know that she is the most important person in your life.

I love Cary! Well, for now I do, at least regarding this particular question.

The snow is coming down down down. Let’s see if it sticks.

Angela Tung Oversharing on the internet since 2005.