Jul 09

TCOB, San Francisco style

For some reason I’ve been having trouble getting into this blog at work.  No problem at home.  Either something is up with my work server, or my version of Internet Explorer is just too old, and I don’t have permission to install the new version.  So now I find myself typing quickly before I lose connection again.  Blah.

The possible move to SF has been dominating my thoughts.  I made the mistake of telling my mother, “We’re going no matter what,” ie, even if MB and I don’t have jobs set up, and she basically freaked out.  I did some quick backtracking and pretended I didn’t say I’d quit my job if they didn’t let me work remotely.  Yeesh.  You’d think I’d learn by now.

I mentioned the idea of working remotely to my boss last week, and yesterday told him our move was a go for sometime in September.  His only experience with a direct report working off-site was a bad one.  The person just sort of announced she was doing it and made arrangements, before getting any approval.  I never assumed that, and had found the guidelines and application a couple of weeks ago.  He seemed surprised there was even an application, which surprised me quitely fankly.

Anyway, I finished up the application yesterday, basically stating my case for why working remotely would be fine, and we have a formal meeting set up for Monday morning.  TCOB!

We also bought our plane tickets for a visit in August.  Hopefully MB will have some interviews set up for that time, and we’ll look at apartments.  Hopefully we’ll have both a job for MB and an apartment by the end of our visit, but at least an apartment.  And also hopefully by then I’ll know if working remotely is a go or no-go.

Last weekend I entered the final edits to my memoir.  As I post sections I’ll probably edit a little more, but just honing – the structure should be all set.  I’m staggering the posts a little more now because I want to get the whole book on Scribd and available for purchase about mid-way through my posts.  So it’ll be, “You can keep reading once a week for free, or you can buy the whole thing now for $2.”  I also changed the template again! It’s back to how it originally was.  I found myself getting mixed up between this and the writing blog.  I know the look should be the same, but I thought slightly different would be okay.

Crap! I still have my assignments to do for the London class, a journal and a paper on a specific topic.  They’re due mid-August, but I want to get them done soon.  I can pull a lot from this blog for the journal, as well as from my notes.  As for the paper, I have to pick a topic – I have a few ideas – and do a literature assessment.  I’m so not in the mood for it.

Jun 09

Memoir plug, and Palo Alto

Next memoir installment is up.

On another note, MB got an interview for a job in Palo Alto. It seems promising since they say they’re willing to fly him out there.

I think I’ve written that we’d like to live somewhere other than New York. For a while the shortlist included Amsterdam, Prague, and Buenos Aires. I’m flexible. The only requirement is that MB have something secure set up beforehand since it costs money to move.

Of course I’d totally be down with the Bay Area too. It would be easier, but still different from New York. Plus MB would have more of a chance to get a job he actually likes.

As for me, I’d want to see if I could keep my current job and work remotely. In my department people are scattered all over the world. I only see my boss in person two or three times a week, and I do quite a bit of work for someone in the UK. Hell, people down the hall email me. So I have a feeling it would be okay, but who knows.

And I thought we could live in my grandmother’s empty house in Berkeley, if only temporarily. But I talked to my mother and it’s already been put on the market.

It’s still early yet. MB has yet to have the interviews, but it’s fun to think about.

May 08

Friday mishmash

Last night we saw Iron Man. It was very cool.

Robert Downey, Jr. is the man. He totally made the movie. Also, the action was nicely spaced out. MB would prefer 2 hours of nonstop fight scenes, but I liked that the middle slowed down a little and built up to a good finale. The only thing I didn’t like was Gwyneth Paltrow’s character, who couldn’t decide if she was a smart, efficient assistant, or a ditz in stilettos.

There were some good previews too. What looks promising: Prince Caspian, The Incredible Hulk, and You Don’t Mess with Zohan (in a stupid way). What looks bad, unless the payoff is very very good: The Happening. What’s up in the air: the new Indiana Jones. That came last and compared to the other trailers, it seemed quiet and old-fashioned. But who knows. Either way, lots of movies to see this summer.

We got back very late and didn’t get to sleep till 3. Tired again.

Tonight there’s a birthday party – the girlfriend of one of MB’s friends. I’ve met her once and have no idea how old she is. I know his friend is about 29, so she could easily be 10 years younger than me. Yikes! I think I’ve mentioned that MB is little more than 2 years younger than I am. I don’t think about it when we’re together; it’s more like we’re the same age. But then I think about it, and it’s kind of hot. ;)

This weekend the theatre near us has midnight shows of Alien. We are so there. I’m psyched because I’ve never seen it on the big screen. In fact, I’ve never seen any of the Aliens on the big screen.

I’m finally officially all moved into my new place. Tuesday night MB and I went to my place, and threw out a bunch of last minute stuff, including a few big pieces the new tenant doesn’t want. Luckily MB was there because I wouldn’t have been able to bring down the shoe cabinet, coffee table, and surprisingly heavy microwave. We were done within an hour.

As we left I felt a little sad. After all that place has been home for the past three years. I got to know my neighborhood and neighbors. The old guy who ran the antiques store next door, the Chinese lady who ran the laundromat and with whom I sometimes chatted in Mandarin, the young guy at Le Pain Quotidian who served up my mochas on the weekends.

While MB’s neighbordhood is cooler and less stuffy, I will miss lots of things about my part of town. The Park especially, being just a few blocks away. The plethora of delis and bagel shops. The chain clothing shops (so I’m not so cool).

There must be delis in MB’s neighborhood, but I’ve yet to find where I can get a standard coffee and bagel, instead of some fancy schmancy pastry and too expensive Americano. There are clothing stores in his area but they are all super expensive boutiques.

What I won’t miss in my neighborhood is the very expensive laundromat. $3.50 a load! MB’s is just $1.50. I didn’t even know I was being ripped off. I also won’t miss the people, who are mostly snooty high-rise dwellers with BMW-like strollers or else lots of plastic surgery (sometimes both). The LES neighborhood is more of a mix – hipsters, long-residing artist types, Indian families, Chinese families, and people like us.

Another good thing about MB’s ‘hood is that people tend to want to hang there more. It’s a challenge to try and get people to come uptown. Plus now I live near YP, yay! We are basically on opposite ends of Houston Street.

The end of a single girl era. Three years was quite enough time to get to know and love myself again, and to explore life and what I want to do. I’m ready now for whatever happens next.

Apr 08

Yay, one class down!

So last night I handed in my term paper and gave my presentation. We had the option of yesterday or next Monday to present (all papers were still due yesterday), so of course I went with yesterday to get it overwith.

I guess my presentation was fine, though my argument was probably a little flimsy at the end. And I was totally under the 10 minute mark. I was coming to a close when I suddenly realized the professor hadn’t given me even the 2 minute warning, and so I slowed waaay down. Came in at about 8 minutes.

Now I have some free time till my final for Knowledge Organization on 5/8.

As for right now, I am totally skipping a meeting. My boss has the tendency to set up meetings with vague titles and no agenda. It’s like if this has no immediate bearing on my job, I’m not going. We also have a team meeting soon. Blah. What I hate most is my boss’s “around the horn,” during which he makes everyone talk about their projects. For me it’s always like, “Well I redesigned this page on our website, and I got some stuff through review committee.”

In team meetings with my old boss, if you had something you thought everyone should know, you put it on the agenda. You didn’t waste everyone’s time talking just because you’re expected to talk.

Speaking of my old boss, I ran into him at the cafeteria. He’s really happy for me in my new job, and went on about how my current boss is “delusional.” He heard that my old boss is posting for positions one to two levels higher than mine, which I’d seen on the job boards. Again, someone at that level is not going to want to do the nitty gritty stuff associated with my job, and again, my boss has refused to listen. Even my old boss agreed the team needs not just one but two operational people. Glad someone agrees with me.

In other news, I got my renewed driver’s license in the mail today. Yay! When I sent in the request, I sort of felt like I was sending it into a black hole. But just two weeks later, I have a brand new license. Now I just need to renew my passport.

Also canceled my Con Ed account, and put in a forwarding address request on Friday. TCOB!

Today will be my last day in old apartment. I’m going there after work to throw out the last batch of stuff, and take with me a few random things, including my cable box. Hopefully it won’t take too long.

Apr 08

Trucking along

My move, my current job, the spring semester – funny how all of these things are wrapping up at the same time.

First, the move
The woman moving into my apartment took a look at my furniture on Tuesday, and she’s taking most of it. The couch, the TV and stand, a chair, a dresser, and a large desk I keep in the kitchen. Yay! Getting rid of the couch and TV would have been such a pain.

I need to get rid of: the coffee table, two boxes of books, one box of kitchen stuff, two vases, and a broken down shoe cabinet, which I’ll have to take apart. Since I have half-day tomorrow, I’m going to spend all afternoon taking care of this stuff.

It just hit me yesterday that I only have till next Wednesday to finish everything up. I still have to:

Change my address, though the woman said she’d let me know if anything important slipped through, and I’ll go pick it up.

Cancel my cable, which means undoing all the equipment and dropping it off at my cable company, which, luckily, is close to work.

Cancel my Con Ed.


Funny how those last few things can sneak up on you like that.

The job
You think I didn’t care before? I so don’t care now.

I had a transition meeting with my boss on Monday, and now I know: he will be super annoying till the bitter end. A lot of what I do, like I’ve said before, is very operational. For example, uploading documents to a website, making sure we have enough materials for our educational programs, and dealing with issues that are small but can still keep a program from running properly.

My boss has it in his mind that the director of operations in sales will be willing to handle these small, tactical things.

A director. This means she’s three levels above me.

She did volunteer to own the website, which she’s been wanting to get her hands on for some time. But I know her: she wants it so that she can make all the business decisions on how it’s designed, what information is on it, etc. She won’t want to sit there uploading frigging PDFs and implementing HTML. I don’t think she even knows how.

My boss is retarded.

Also another one of my “projects,” which isn’t really a project, hence the quotes, is purchasing these e-guidelines and licenses for this online tool. All it is is coordinating the purchase. We do the same thing every year. But does he have an easy answer for how to proceed?

“Well, I think we should have a meeting with this person, and this person, and this person, and this person, and discuss how it’s being used, and determine how we should use it, and what’s the best way, and – “

“Do I need to be involved in this?”

I don’t, thank God. My boss said he’ll be, quote, a nice guy, and take it over himself.

If I ever I’m in a leadership position, what I’ll do is surround myself with highly competent people I trust, and you know, TRUST THEM, and let them do the work. I do this now. I have a budget coordinator I’d trust with my life, as well as someone in operations. They are awesome and I let them run the show. My boss’ philosophy is to get into nitty gritty details, and to know as much as those people. Well, then what about my own job?


Oh, did I say that already? My bad.

So my first semester is coming to a close. This Monday I have a term paper and presentation due, and I’ve only started the research. I think after midterm I felt sort of pooped out, and have been slacking. But at least I know what I want to write about, and have just a few more articles to read.

Tonight I have to schlep out to Brooklyn for class. It’ll take me an hour to get there, dammit.

The final for that class is on May 8. It was supposed to be on May 2, but the teacher will be at some conference. That’s okay. That means that after I turn in my term paper and give my presentation on 4/28, I’ll have some free time before May 8. Then first summer session starts the next week.

Okay, back to work.

Apr 08

Tuesday randomness

It’s only Tuesday and I’m already ready to get random.

I finally got my watch fixed. After several years of not wearing a watch, I’ve recently started wearing my again. Only I either a) can’t stop looking at it, especially in long boring meetings, or 2) forget that I have it on so that I’m wandering around, wondering what time it is. Today I forgot to wear it.

Firefly was a good show. MB downloaded a bunch of episodes and we’ve been watching them for the past few days. What a good show. It’s neat that Chinese is thrown in here and there (the Alliance is a U.S.-Sino Alliance, since in the future America and China will be the only true super powers left), but sometimes the actors’ accents are so bad, I can’t tell what they’re saying. Too bad the show was canceled.

My mother can be so annoying. I called her late last week to tell her about the jobs I’ve been interviewing for, and how I actually feel hopeful. She said, “That nice. But it’s not like your job is so bad now.” Um, have you not been listening to me complain for the past year?

But that’s not all: “Sure, getting a new job is nice, but what’s more important is that you’re with someone now.”

Wha? Hunh?

One doesn’t preclude the other – career and relationship are in two different realms for me. I was perfectly fine boyfriend-less, but in a crappy job with a shitty boss, I’m still unhappy. No boyfriend = happy. With boyfriend = happier. Crappy job = UNHAPPY. Uncrappy job = happy.

My mother didn’t really see my point.

And the rest. Reposted my furniture ad and have gotten more responders. Hopefully tonight “Jenny” will buy my tea tables. Another woman is supposedly interested in the dressers and couch. Don’t tease me!

Had another digital marketing interview bright and early this morning. I think it went well, but who knows. Have my last one for communication manager in a little bit.

Apr 08

More furniture fun

I’m slowly but surely selling pieces of my furniture.

Needless to say, the flaky girl who couldn’t keep straight what time she wanted to come by backed out. “Oh gee, I measured my apartment and I don’t think they’ll fit.” Maybe that’s something you should have thought about before being so annoying about me holding those two tea tables. Lame ass bitch.

I hate to say this, but so far it’s been the guys who have been very straightforward – “Want. Buy.” – and the women who are flaky and can’t make up their minds. The three people who have actually bought stuff (namely the leaning desk, both bookcases, and my bedframe, which I never thought I’d get rid of) have all been guys. The women?

Case #1
Saturday morning “Sabrina” stopped by bright and early and said she wanted the bookcases. But first she’d have to see if her husband would move them, and she’d let me know about Sunday. Not a word.

Case #2
“Iris” emails me about the Sleep Number bed, saying that recently her husband has died and that she needs a new bed and a “good night’s sleep.” Oh my, TMI. :(

In any case, I send poor Iris a picture of the bed. Her reply?

“Is that a real Sleep Number bed? It doesn’t look like a real Sleep Number bed.”

Why, because Lindsay Wagner isn’t lounging on it saying, “I’m a 34”? I didn’t even bother answering her.

Case #3
“Nikki,” the annoying tea table girl.

MB was back in time to help me with the bed this afternoon. Luckily he was around to help take it apart because I don’t think either the guy or I would have figured it out. Or it’d have taken 2 hours instead of 20 minutes.

Aside from all the furniture madness, I also saw Miss Pettigrew Lives for a Day with YP. It was really good. I enjoyed it immensely.

I’m mostly caught up with school so I think I’ll work on my writing tonight.

Apr 08


Register for summer and fall classes – check!

Place Craig’s List ad to sell furniture – check!

Send thank you card and small gift (a box of Neuhaus chocolates) to the very nice librarians at my site visit – check!

Go crazy with interviews – check and check and check!

Library School

My school has the worst student registration site. What we had to do was fill in this “worksheet,” email our advisor – which turned out to be just the office assistant so who knows if she actually checked anything – wait for his/her approval, THEN register for classes.

Also there are separate searches for classes and sections. Like you could pick a class for summer session 1, only to find out it’s not available during that term. Good usability. PLUS on top of everything the whole system was down at peak registration time.

Luckily one of my classmates told me about her whole experience so I knew what to do. I will be taking:

Summer 1: Web design. Wanted to take Digital Libraries but no one else signed up for it so it was canceled.

Summer 2: Electronic Collections and Services.

Fall: Information Technologies & Information Sources and Services.

The summer classes are compressed so instead of just one day a week for two and a half hours, they are two days a week, three hours at a time. Pretty intense. But I have all of August off, yay!

This week I had a total of five interviews, two for that communications manager position, two for digital marketing, and one for a new position, project manager in compliance.

Both for communications manager went well; I am crossing all of my fingers and toes.

The first one for digital marketing was stupid. The guy just went on and on and on about the position and the website that I’d be managing, and then proceeded to tell me all about his own background. I talked for maybe two seconds.

But the second one, which I had this morning, went well I think. The woman and I got along and had an interesting conversation, and she said a few “very goods.” She also made the position sound more appealing than I thought it was from my first interview.

The one for the compliance project manager position was yesterday, and went well too I think, similar to the first one had for communications manager. When they scheduled it with me, the assistant called and said, “This is Whomever from Corporate Compliance,” and I thought, What did I do?

I’m glad to have all the interviews, but I want to KNOW NOW if I got any of those jobs. I had an extremely annoying meeting with my boss (and others) yesterday, and I just sat there silently. I really don’t care to fight the fight anymore; all of this bores the shit out of me. And my boss continues to micromanage and be paranoid.

I don’t know if the possibility of getting another job makes me feel better or worse about my situation. I think better in general: when I imagine a new position with the people I’ve met with, I get very happy. But in contrast my current stuff seems even worse.

Furniture Craziness
People are so annoying. Most are reasonable – can I see a picture of that chair? – but some are just unbelievable. For instance, regarding a time for a pick up:

Her: How about after work on Friday?
Me: Okay, how’s between 5:30 and 6?
Her: Okay so I’ll be there at 5:15 tonight.


Her: Actually do you think you could bring the tables to my workplace?
Me (What are you smoking?): No.

Supposedly this person is coming tonight at 5:30. We’ll see.

Other dumb questions:

Any ladies’ clothing available?

Yes, let me get that for you in a size 12.

Would you consider delivering the book cases [which btw are almost 8 feet tall] to the Bronx?

I’d rather leave them on the freaking street for birds to poop on. In fact I’d rather pay someone to leave them on the street for birds to poop on.

I do have a reasonable buyer coming in tonight, taking one bookcase and my desk. He has tools and a car and everything. Yay!

Missing MB
He’s away on business till tomorrow night. His company has had some, um, issues lately so he’s on the lookout for something new. Right now he still has a job but he feels little loyalty what with the way employees have been screwed over while la-la-la management traipses off with their millions. Meanwhile those whose pensions were tied up in stocks have nothing now. :(

Mar 08

Moving, Charleston, & Work Apathy

Get ready for a long one.

Had a productive/relaxing vacation. Spent Tuesday through Thursday going through my apartment, getting rid of stuff, bringing stuff down to MB’s. Oh, did I mention that we’re moving in together?

I’ve been wary about mentioning it here, but the move is going to dominate my life for the next couple of months. Seems crazy right? We’ve been together for barely six months, but sometimes you just know when something’s right.

I got my new lease early last week so I took that opportunity to call and say I wasn’t renewing, and ask if I could break it a month early. They were pretty nice about it, saying that if they could get someone to sign for May 1, then I could break it. Otherwise, I’ll just let my lease lapse on June 1. It’s good timing: they wanted to raise my rent a $100.

The brokers descended almost immediately, and were really annoying at first. I guess one woman was in competition with everyone else. She raced over to my place, saying, “I’ve been waiting for your apartment for so long! You couldn’t decide when you were leaving!”

I was like, Um, no, my place has been on the market for all of four hours. Dumbass.

I have nothing of value left in my place – except the gigantour TV, good luck toting that out of my place – so I had keys made for them and am just letting them show it whenever. My only request is that they call beforehand. Who knows if they will but I don’t really care.

Besides, I want to get rid of my TV, couch, bookcases, and other large pieces of furniture. MB’s place just doesn’t have room for that stuff, and I really don’t need it. Also, I’ve gotten several years’ use out of everything. Hopefully Craig’s List will help me purge all my junk.

It feels good to let all of those things go. I feel like they’re from my old life, and I’m shedding my old skin.

During my time off, I also:

Did my site visit for library school. The assignment is to visit a library, and observe for three hours. I picked the medical library of Sloan Kettering. They were extremely nice and helpful, and it’s a beautiful space. The highlight for me? Excellent coffee for 25 cents. Woohoo!

Went to the dermatologist. Waste. Of. Time. She barely looked at my face before trying to prescribe me oral antibiotics. It’s not like I have rampant acne so I didn’t want to take antibiotics if I didn’t have to. They always do a number on my stomach. So I went with the topical stuff instead. Who knows if it’ll work.

Got my taxes done. Got quite a chunk of return, which means I’m paying too much, but oh well.

Ran six miles. So I worked out just once during my vacation, but at least it was a good one.

Went to Charleston. On Friday, MB and I flew out to Charleston for a little vacay. It was an absolute madhouse at the airport, and we actually almost missed our flight. We were sitting there, keeping an ear out for announcements, but only heard the very last one.

Then we proceeded to sit on the runway for close to an hour. MB was pretty relaxed about it, which helped me be less antsy.

Got into Charleston around dinnertime. Our hotel was on the harbor side, so after settling in, we took the free trolley into town and ate at Magnolia’s, at the suggestion of the trolley driver. It was good Southern food – I had the fried chicken while MB had the shrimp and grits – but a bit overpriced.

Overall the weather was very nice. At night and by the water, it was chilly, but in the sun it was in the 70s. The sun was unexpectedly strong so that MB’s poor shaved head got totally burned.

We basically spent the whole time eating and walking around. The houses there are these beautiful old Southern homes, and it was cool to walk by the water and see birds that we don’t normally see, like pelicans and other sea birds which I can’t name. One looked like a black egret while another looked like a tern. And of course there were seagulls.

More highlights:

Ghost & Graveyard Tour. We wanted to do the Dark Side of Charleston tour cuz it was “rated R,” but it was sold out. The Ghost & Graveyard Tour was still fun though a little cheesy. Mostly the guide just told walked us around told some spooky stories.

The best part was when she took us to a cemetary, and told us about plat-eyes, a type of mischievous ghost from Gullah culture. Apparently they’re most active during the full moon – which it had been the night before – and take the shape of a white creature. Supposedly during a tour on the night of the full moon, a woman saw a white cat with green eyes in the graveyard we were in, and at the same time felt a severe stabbing pain in her side.

So after that we were all a bit creeped out and keeping our eyes out for a white cat. “I want to see the cat!” MB announced cheerfully. He doesn’t believe in any of that stuff and wasn’t nervous at all.

After the tour, as we were walking away, I said to him, “You wanted to see the cat,” and then a frigging cat jumped out at us from the bushes. It wasn’t white – in fact it was black – but that didn’t stop me from yelling, “Oh my God!” and jumping ten feet, at least according to MB. Some people from our group were behind us, and totally cracked up. We were laughing like crazy for a good long time.

Poogan’s Porch. This restaurant was a stop on the ghost tour and supposedly one of the most haunted places in America. Poogan was a dog who hung out there and died in 1979. Supposedly if you eat on the porch, you can feel a dog rub itself against your legs, and dropped food will disappear.

But the spookier story is that many years ago, two spinster sisters lived in the house. After one of the sisters died from a fall down the steps, the living sister, Zoe, went nuts and died in an institution. After the house was renovated into a restaurant in the ’70s, weird stuff started happening – people seeing a little old lady waving from the second floor after the restaurant was closed, stuff being moved around, and the topper, a woman who used the second floor bathroom, looking up to see the image of a little old lady in the mirror.

So of course we had to eat there.

The food was really good. We had fried green tomates, jambalaya, and crab cakes. For dessert we had their “award-winning” bread pudding. I don’t usually like bread pudding, but this was SO GOOD. Moist and not too sweet.

As we were eating, I sort of forgot about the spooky stories. Then the waiter was telling this other couple the Zoe story, and the woman said that she had gone to the upstairs bathroom earlier and felt totally creeped out, and that was before she even knew the legend.

So then I was like, “I want to check out the bathroom!” but then immediately started to chicken out. After some prodding from MB, I did go upstairs, and of course that bathroom’s light was off and the door partially ajar, which for some reason made it seem skerrier.

I was a total wuss and couldn’t go in.

MB was like, “You’re lame,” and went by himsef. Of course nothing happened. After we finished eating, we went together, and again, nothing. But we only stayed for two seconds, enoug
h for me snap a couple of pictures, and for MB to shut off the light, scaring the bejeezus out of me.

Charleston Cooks! Cooking Class. MB signed us up to my consternation. While I like cooking, I just don’t feel confident about it, and don’t like to do it in public. But then I thought, okay, it’ll be good to get out of my comfort zone.

Turned out not to be hands on but lecture style. It was still fun though. It was Easter Sunday so the chef made a ham, biscuits, greens and grits, and lavendar tea cakes. The glaze for the ham and the greens and grits were good, but the biscuit sucked, especially compared to the ones we had at Poogan’s Porch.

Dolphins, up close and personal. Another way to get into town from our hotel was the water taxi.

On one of our trips, we saw some dolphins, first in the distance, so subtle I thought I was seeing things. But then the water taxi guys pulled up to where the dolphins were and they swam right up to the boat. I’ve never seen a dolphin that close up in the wild before. The water taxi guys said they weren’t really supposed to drive up to the dolphins, but MB and I were the only ones on the boat – it was Easter Sunday – so they made an exception.

Back at work. It wasn’t as bad this morning as I anticipated. Some annoying emails and one particularly annoying phone call, but that’s all. Helped that I got lots of sleep last night. We flew in on a 6 AM flight, so going to bed at 11 was no problem.

While I was gone, my boss and team members worked more on trying to redefine our team. I so don’t care. I was very happy to see that I got second round interviews for that communications manager job I want so badly. I live for the day that I can see ya.